When people read your message but don't reply

[mrssunshinexxx]

It's my absolute pet hate you know when you see th little blue ticks and no they have read it but choose not to reply. I know sometimes you don't always have time to reply but then hours... a day or 2 goes by and still nothing and you feel a pest for chasing it up?!

Nah, I'm just old enough to remember not having a phone and I certainly never consented to being available at all times of day to whoever might want me. Sometimes I'm busy, sometimes the message requires thinking about, sometimes I just don't think it warrants a response. My Whatsapp is on stealth mode or whatever it's called and if someone complained about a low response-rate I'd probably bail out on them completely!

I hate those ticks and sometimes I deliberately don't respond because I can't think of what to say, or I can't be bothered.

Assuming you are talking abput messenger then the blue tick just means it's been delivered not read. You see a mini profile photo alongside the message when it's been read. Also you can appear active when you are not. I have shown as active to others when I haven't used messenger or Facebook for hours.

Well I’ve just been blatantly ignored for this reason(or I think it’s due to this!)

I am one of those people you talk about - I am (ashamedly) a late replier.

It’s not meant to be hurtful or out of laziness I just lack the time. And to be fair when I sit down at the end of the day I often just want to escape “life”. I do make a point of trying to catch up on any unanswered texts at the weekends when things are a little calmer.

I purposely tell people that I am a late replier and that if they want a reply sooner they should phone or text more.

Being ignored (publicly I might add) is quite hurtful as I had given reasons in my late reply too.

If a conversation is quite emotive I also like to take a bit of time before replying.

I wish I was quicker and I have made attempts ie just stop and answer the text immediately but I just can’t be. For me and my life it just doesn’t work. Sorry OP

I’ve removed the read receipt and last seen online because I’m sick of the comments of “did you see my message” yes I did see your message... you knew I’d seen your message

Please tell how you remove the read receipt and last seen online PLEASE!

My life would be much less stressy if people stopped seeing I have read their message and haven’t bothered to respond - mainly because their message is boring or not at the top of my agenda right now

I glance at the first line of the message from the Notification Screen & then swipe to clear it.

No ticks or online marked, I get to it when/if I want to....

@DarlesChickens61
Whilst in Whatsapp go to settings (bottom right), then account, then privacy. Last seen you can set to nobody so no one can see when you were last online. The read receipts is at the bottom of the same page, you need to switch it to off.
This means that you also won’t be able to see when people are last online or if they’ve received your message. All you/they will ever see is 2 grey ticks.
Life is so much nicer this way!!!!!!

Thank you Peachy. Done it 🤗

Gets on my nerves how long a get together can take to organise nowadays because it is all done via messages which go backwards and forwards for days on end rather than done over a five minute phone conversation.

i get total blue tick anxiety! i try and remind myself that people have busy lives and sometimes I don't respond straight away but i still always get stressed when i can see people have read my message and not replied, its a hideous stress of modern life / technology

I'm terrible for not replying. I get a message when I'm busy and can't really reply so I think to myself I'll reply later and just forget.
Quite alot it shows I'm active on fb when I'm not. Reasons being I've just put my phone down but left the fb window open or I've used fb to log into other sights like this one. Sometimes scrolling through fb and mn pops up and I click on it it takes me directly to here so look like I'm on fb when I'm not and if I'm on my laptop I don't have messenger installed on my laptop so dont see the message come through so people think I'm ignoring them when I'm not.
Neither my dm, or db's have jobs or children at home and just can't understand that I don't always have my phone glued to me all 3 text me about 5 times a day. Half the time I don't even know what there going on about so I don't reply. They get really pissy with me.

Makes me so glad to have one of these! A nice cheap PAYG phone, that ISN'T a smartphone, and where people cannot tell if I have read their message or not.

So at what point do you just stop messaging someone who never replies? If they haven’t replied to your last 3 random chatty texts, is that a hint to “fuck off. Your texts are unwanted”? 🤔

When I'm busy I sometimes read messages but then forget to reply as I've quickly moved onto something else.

Gets on my nerves how long a get together can take to organise nowadays because it is all done via messages which go backwards and forwards for days on end rather than done over a five minute phone conversation

THIS. Though if it's more than one other person, messaging the group does save time.

And by random I mean over a few days or weeks even. Not one after the other!

I turned off my Whatsapp notifications & last seen due to a friend who would jump on me if I didn't respond straightaway. Unfortunately she's very tech savvy and realised immediately. I had to pretend the kids had been messing with my phone! These days, if I see she's messaged me, I turn on "flight mode" before opening Whatsapp so she can't see I've read it so I can answer in my own time. She's likely rumbled that too as she definitely doesn't message me as much anymore.

I sometimes long for the days when it was acceptable to be uncontactable for days on end. Technology can often make life more stressful and demanding, not less!

Littlemiss yep! Mine is a very basic touch screen phone but I don't use it for Internet or any apps other than maps. I genuinely have no idea what this blue tick thing is and don't want to either. : )

@Dizzyhelterskelter my dd actually did turn of my messenger notifications so my didn't ping or someone's face didn't appear in a circle on my screen. If I wanted to see if I had a message I had to open the messenger app or click the icon on fb.
I don't know how she did it but I certainly wasn't in any hurry to fix it.

If you’ve only messaged them, then it’s clearly not that important because if it were that important you would have phoned and spoken to them. So why this demand they act as if it is important?

I hate the way social media and mobiles have trapped us with the 'convenience' of being contactable at all times.

I agree. This is why I LOVED texting when it came out. You can get in touch with someone and they can read it at their convenience, and likewise I can read it at my convenience. A phonecall feels too demanding, too much like Mum, Mum, MUM, MUUUUUUM when it's ringing and ringing. I have enough of that in my life!

Unfortunately you can remove the ‘read receipts’ and the ‘last seen online’, but there’s no way of deactivating the ‘Xxx is Online’ that appears in the status bar when you’re actively within Whatsapp. It’s very annoying.

I remember when Blackberry phones first came out and DH was given one by work. The first holiday we had with that thing in our lives was a nightmare. He felt obliged to answer every call, deal with every problem and respond to every email immediately and was never off duty, it was so stressful for him and I got properly fucked off with the intrusion.

It used to be that if you were on holiday you were completely out of contact for the whole fortnight and unless there was a major domestic or family emergency, in which case someone knew what hotel you were in, you switched off from work and home life and got properly rested. Not any more.

I hate the land line here for a variety of reasons. These days land line's should be used for emergency only! I don't mind my mobile ringing as much ... but would still rather get a text followed up with a call if necessary.

The thing is the only really annoying person in my life won't use their mobile and is the only one who rings the landline. to talk about bugger all without even asking if it's a good time

WHY should people reply immediately?

If you ask a reasonable timely question - are you coming for diner tonight - fair enough to expect a fairly quick reply. Otherwise, WHY?

I like the blue tick, it means my message has been seen, reply will come when it comes. If it's urgent, I do write URGENT and in upper case, and always receive a reply asap.

People can be checking their phone in a meeting, whilst waiting for an appointment, in the tube or train before being out of signal. Why does it matter if they reply straight away? It feels terribly needy.

I love modern technology. Yes, you have to be contactable much more often. But the positive far outweigh the negative: parents can keep in touch with children when abroad. I can work from home. I can go away for much longer because I can still deal with a few bits. I don't have to be stuck in an office the entire Sunday waiting for the one phone call from a foreign client anymore! I just live my life and answer my work phone when it rings. It's fantastic.

The beauty of text and any whatsap messages and the like is that you send them when it's convenient to you, and people read then reply when convenient for them.