To think you often get a better discussion with men?

[splendidisolation]

I've been noticing this fairly often recently.

It seems easier to get into debates/quite in depth discussion about politics or ideas, more conceptual/abstract stuff with men than it does women.

Obviously my female friends are like this, that's why we're friends! I'm talking about casual encounters, random people you meet through events or friends of friends.

At least, it seems more frequent or easier to go down the path of having those more "pondering" discussions with a lot of the men I come across, whereas with women it tends to focus on their families, or past relationships, music, books, clothes, travel etc. More "real life" stuff.

Have you noticed this, and if you have, why is it?

Interesting how if men disagree with something you say, it is an interesting discussion, if women dare to do the same they are 'catty' - maybe that's why you are struggling to have a debate with women OP.

Love the idea of coming on a forum largely made up of women, saying something incredibly misogynistic and then throwing up your hands in horror that anyone calls you out on it. Takes disingenuousness to a new level

Anyway I find I get plenty of interesting political debate when I talk to my niece with her first class honours degree and masters in politics. And she was one of the youngest ever speakers to make a speech at party conference - so she's always managed to engage in discussion despite the massive handicap of no penis.

I generally find men far more interesting to talk to when I want to discuss rugby or cricket. Women tend to be less interested in England’s problem number 3 position for the ashes, or whether Moeen is actually fit.

I don't think I was being goady

Sure...

Anyone who describes women as 'catty' is a dim and deluded fuckwit IMO

I don’t think the post was toady at all. I like interesting debates about things and only have my partner as a male to go on and he isn’t interested as he doesn’t get it lol I find it interesting though that because you have an opinion based on your circle of friends and have asked if this happens outside of that people have gotten quite snappy. A simple no with or without an explanation is great but why the need for crap humour? (Crap in my opinion) Why can’t the question be answered or not and move on.

I don’t have many friends since moving but when I lived elsewhere I would have to agree with you. All my deep conversations (and I mean seriously deep to the point of weird) were with men of varying ages. My more casual chats would be around the women I knew. My best mate however has both the different types of talks with me although less of the deep weird shite I would talk about but she does humour me sometimes and goes along with it lol

In answer to the question then, in my circl s of friends I have found the same as you.

I don’t think the post was toady at all.

I have to agree with that.

I like interesting debates

Me too. Shame that the OP isn't.

The irony is that the women posters agreeing with the OP are admitting that they, women, were having these conversations with men. Ergo, women have these conversations. Hoist by your own petard.

I love talking about politics. The only difference I can see is that when I was a very well read, very well educated, very political young, blonde woman, men took a LOT of persuading that I was capable of debating with them. To the point of a lovely middle-aged American man being horrified that, "this young woman knows more about the history and politics of my country than I do". That took several hours.

Superb example of why I'd rather discuss things with men, women ( yes the whole homogeneous mass of 'em) get a bit twatty at the drop of a hat.

On the plus side, there was me thinking AIBU had started to lose it's cuntyness the past few weeks, glad to see it's back with a vengeance......

Anyone who describes women as 'catty' is a dim and deluded fuckwit IMO

You have read some most of the posts above yes?

@PiffleandWiffle

Yep. Rather than be hoisted by my own petard, I actually thought the thread inadvertently proved my point.
😉

Ok cool - looks like PiffleandWiffle and splendidisolation can now smirk off together and congratulate themselves on being More Than Mere Women. Hurrah guys you found one another, etc.

MEANWHILE - back on Planet Kittenscribble - @MrsTerryPratchett the old ones are the best ones. But, it's clearly too old! How long ago was that eh? Feel old

Perhaps you can say the same to the men. "I think I have better discussions with women" as a sweeping bullshit statement. Do come back and report.

I mostly had to listen to men's views since one a lot of them get going they are not interested I what you're saying.See how much listening they do next time.

No I haven't really found this.
To be honest men are more likely to talk over me, in my experience, so often I have better & more interesting conversations with women.

You don't want to debate or discussion though do you OP?
You posted in AIBU - which invites opinions other than your own. Yet you had already decided what you thought, then you disappeared and when you returned and found not everyone was nodding along and saying 'oh yes you are right, we are all total dullards, how we wish we were men and able to understand big topics' - you said you wouldn't engage.
Is that how you normally debate, state your case, brook no argument and run away when challenged? I can't imagine you have many very interesting dicussions at all.

Maybe MN needs a 'I'm Right So There' forum (IRST), where women can all chat about how men are fabulous and if women don't agree then they are meanies and you don't want to be friends with them.
Topics could include:

'How do I widen my door frame so DH can fit his massive brain filled head through it?'
'DH strides up and down talking about himself for hours, tell me in what ways your DH is also super-interesting'
'How can I make myself less dull and womanish so that misogynists will want to be my chum?'
'

In RL, I do try to out-dull dullards. Maybe the men in your life are more indulgent.

It was very long ago @FizzyGreenWater. StewieGriffinsMum if I remember correctly...

Is that how you normally debate, state your case, brook no argument and run away when challenged? I can't imagine you have many very interesting dicussions at all.

...except with the menz who think aaaaah a kindred spirit! Let us bore awayyyyyy

Ahhhh yes!

I AM CANADIAN

Oh the nostalgia

I'm struggling to talk about this issue to be honest - Its a bit deep- but am happy to ask if you have seen this years cat advent calendars which are green.

@grasspigeons

Let's not worry our pretty little heads about it. OP will be along shortly and drop another stink bomb, then run. She's dead clever like that.

When is "Dickmatised" going to be in the Oxford Dictionary?

Nope. I have deep convos with my female friends all the time. Sometimes I have to remind some of them to keep it light!

Let us not forget to sympathise with the OP's male friends who in their gentlemanly way put up with the fluffy femininity of her conversation. Chivalry is not dead.

And in the meantime, the rest of us can get on with discussing books and music and other insignificant products of tangible reality.

Personally I find that realisation that comes with middle age is that there are only so many times you can repeat the same platitudes deep and meaningful conversations before you put yourself to sleep.

If this actually happens it is more likely that men are generally raised to think their voice and opinions are so important that they have no problem giving them to strangers.
Women may have better social skills meaning the gauge the person and the social context before getting into ‘heavy’ discussion and don’t presume their opinions need to be shared with someone they’ve only just met.