To think you often get a better discussion with men?

[splendidisolation]

I've been noticing this fairly often recently.

It seems easier to get into debates/quite in depth discussion about politics or ideas, more conceptual/abstract stuff with men than it does women.

Obviously my female friends are like this, that's why we're friends! I'm talking about casual encounters, random people you meet through events or friends of friends.

At least, it seems more frequent or easier to go down the path of having those more "pondering" discussions with a lot of the men I come across, whereas with women it tends to focus on their families, or past relationships, music, books, clothes, travel etc. More "real life" stuff.

Have you noticed this, and if you have, why is it?

Discussions arent as good as they used to be in my day. There used to be some back and forth, maybe 3 or 4 times at least. Sometimes more!

or a student lefty point of view

Sneaking in a cheap shot...

Cant say ive noticed this

I think the OP has made an interesting point.

While I have conversations about a huge range of topics with both my male and female friends, it is slightly more likely that if I am debating politics, for example, it is with a man, and if I'm listening to a recount of someone's day, it is with a woman.

Now, we could put this down to a generally increased level of testosterone in men, a common side effect being competitiveness: enjoying playing devil's advocate and the surrounding discussion.

Or we could attribute this to a feeling of connection: talking about a difficult situation could be very personal and a woman might not feel as comfortable talking to a man compared to another woman.

However, what really interests me is response to the OP. They have posed a question and, from the replies I've seen, the majority of posters have not chosen to debate the topic, but instead make fun of the poster.

Which, given I'm assuming most posters thus far are women, does rather give credit to the original point made....

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha......NO

My best political conversations are with women, always.

However, what really interests me is response to the OP. They have posed a question and, from the replies I've seen, the majority of posters have not chosen to debate the topic, but instead make fun of the poster.

Well no, they haven't, have they? They've mainly given a range of reasons, many using humour, why they disagree with OP. Lots and lots of reasons, some pithy and short but a clear answer nonetheless. Many of those that have poked fun have done so because their view is (more or less) that OP is being goady in posing her question. That's their 'why' and their debate. And it's well placed - as you don't 'debate' with a likely goady fucker (especially one who doesn't come back after a first post).

So, erroneously numbered ellipses notwithstanding, your 'incisive' point is... not so incisive.

this is amazing

thanks OP!

The replies on this thread are hilarious, probably cementing OP’s point talk about catty and defensive

You have put men on a pedastal of some sort of enlightened beings and you are equal to those beings have you always thought women were uninteresting?

sneakattack and canadian

if the op had posted similar views on a male heavy forum, but instead saying that women were better to have a conversation with - i think the responses would have been a lot more 'catty and defensive'....and then some

Sneaking in a cheap shot...

Not really, considering I was heavily involved in the student lefty scene in my 20s, and still hold on to many of its sentiments

catty and defensive = calling OP out for being a goady fucker who hasn't come back to the thread.

Yup!

I notice this a bit OP. In my case I think it’s down to how I meet people. Most women I meet casually, I do so through my kids. We have a vested interest in not antagonizing each other because we need a workable relationship and a build up of trust so we can feel comfortable with each other around our children. Most men, at the moment, I meet through my DH. We have less need to gloss over things and our conversation isn’t directed around our children in the same way.

I have a mixed group of friends I met through studying a few years ago - we all talk in depth on politics etc. with no noticeable gender difference.

But Canadianviews I cannot engage with your further unless I know...

ARE YOU CANADIAN???

he replies on this thread are hilarious, probably cementing OP’s point grin talk about catty and defensive

Hardly catty and defensive - just taking the piss out of a completely ridiculous and stupid post. OP is clearly being goady, there can be no other reason for such a foolish assertion.
Maybe women can't be arsed to debate with you OP because you make sweeping generalisations ,which are hardly a basis for an intelligent conversation.

I'm interested in the fact that you have only recently noticed this imaginary phenomenon. Do you think men have suddenly become more profound or have women become more dim ? And what do you feel is the cause - global warming ?

This thread is hilarious. I am crying at ‘our heads are filled with kittens and scribble’ and ‘a window into my soul (or my knickers)’.

The OP is surely having a laugh. Next time I go to a social event where I meet friends of friends for the first time I shall be on the alert for people starting serious philosophical debates over the vol au vents. I will carefully count how many are men and how many are women.

Then I will run away and have a fun conversation about The Real Housewives of Cheshire and what Jordan has done to her face.

Well I mean, I don't think I was being goady. It was something I noticed and wanted to see if others had too, and if so, what would the reasons for that be as clearly women are interested in having these conversations - I see that in my friendships.

Most people on here say they haven't seen the same, others say they have and have given some reasons why (interest in not antagonising, mainly child-related setting, possible social conditioning not to speak out in a way men dont experience, men tending to dominate or mansplain). It wasnt about me trying to present myself as somehow special.

I didnt bother continuing with the thread when I saw a lot of posters actually went on the defensive, some writing quite lengthy posts with a catty tone, which I actually found more goady than the OP. If I touched a nerve it wasnt my intention.

Anyway, there you have it! Feel free to continue with the thread if you're enjoying it, but that's why I haven't been back to really engage.

Saying something you knew would be offensive (don't be obtuse, I am too old for this) and then fucking off is like shitting in the middle of a party. And I think that was the effect you were after.

Never experienced it tbh! My partner doesn’t like politics and other men I know and have known have been a mixed bag. I enjoy a nice political debate at times.

I haven’t noticed that.

But I will say that I don’t think I’ve had a really interesting conversation / debate with anyone I’ve met since university days tbh, and I graduated in 2008! I never have a good chat with anyone I meet at parent and toddler groups. Think that’s because we’re all a bit distracted. When I was working, it wasn’t the right environment for lively debates either, (about anything other than work).

I didnt bother continuing with the thread when I saw a lot of posters actually went on the defensive, some writing quite lengthy posts with a catty tone, which I actually found more goady than the OP. If I touched a nerve it wasnt my intention

Oh - is responding to utter nonsense deemed as "defensive" then? I guess you thought we'd simply huff & puff a bit and get back to talking about kids, soap operas and fluffy things.

You didn't touch my nerve, however. Maybe if you were at a social event and starting heavy political debates with the men around thus crashing the tone of the party in your need to be Miss Witty, I might feel different. Likely not though I suppose, as you'd be swerved

Don't you have men to go talk to, anyway? You surely don't need to benefit us little women on your musings re men. We don't really understand, bit deep to fathom

I can't help myself @FizzyGreenWater

...I AM A CANADIAN