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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should the teacher be saying this to 5/6 year olds?

263 replies

ThisIsMyUsername02123 · 19/11/2017 21:18

Hello.

Just a quick one, really. My 5 year old never used to say this to anyone considering it's never really said in the home - "use your common sense!"

I asked him, "who says that?," to which he responds "[Teacher's name]."

Do you think that a Year 1 primary school teacher should say things like that to 5/6 year olds, considering how rude and abrupt it is to say something like it? Personally, I find it quite ridiculous considering the fact that not even DS15's Year 10 secondary school teachers say things like that.

Cheers.

OP posts:
FlowerPot1234 · 20/11/2017 18:56

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse

You said you rested your case. Hasn't the usher ushered your nonsensical claptrap out of the court yet?

You said common sense doesn't exist. Have you trotted off and found the research you crave, or not? Either way, just read it and stop ranting on here with your bizarre posts.

yerbutnobut · 20/11/2017 19:54

And we wonder why we have a shortage in teachers!
Every little thing seems to get blown out of context and teachers in general being slandered on here. They are massively under pressure and taken for granted. Your child is coming home and telling you this but its obviously lacking in context, be a grown up and actually talk to the teacher.

Feenie · 20/11/2017 20:29

She can't, she's stuck in the caretaker's her office.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 20/11/2017 20:32

How's it rude? I often tell DD 10 that she has no common sense , which is true. She needs to be told some fairly obvious things.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 20/11/2017 22:16

I think a lot of it is that we are used to not speaking to children with respect as a society. Yes there are times when an adult needs to speak in a way to a child that they wouldn't to another adult because they need to set boundaries but needless rudeness is just unnecessary.
If you don't think telling someone to use their common sense is rude then you are being rude without realising it. How would you feel if a colleague said it to you for eg?

Huppopapa · 20/11/2017 22:22

It would depend on how it was said, CorbynsBumFlannel. If I had asked a question to which I knew the answer if only I reflected upon it, I'd be heartily amused. But even that is irrelevant because my colleagues are not my teachers. A teacher's function is - would you believe it - to teach. And teaching self-reliance is a wonderful thing.
We have Ab So Lutely no idea how this phrase was said: I would have no difficulty using it with one of the younger people that I teach (who necessarily have a degree and one or post-graduate qualifications, all of which I respect) in order to draw their attention to the fact that they know the answer and do not need to ask me.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 20/11/2017 22:33

I doubt most people would be amused at being spoken to like that. There's no nice way to say it. If a child is asking you something that seems stupid they either need reassurance, have forgotten or genuinely don't know. Making them feel bad about that will teach them nothing.

elephantoverthehill · 20/11/2017 22:36

Evil you are being (ignorantly) rude to your own flesh and blood and yet you are denial. How can society move on?

Huppopapa · 20/11/2017 22:44

'ignorantly', elephant. What is evil ignorant of? Society moves on and has always moved on by new generations drawing wisdom from those that preceded, and synthesising new thought using the powers of independence and self-reliance their parents have given them. Being constantly told answers to things they know will not lead to any progress at all.
(If you are interested, attachment theory predicts this. Children who are well-attached separate easily from their parents because of their psychological expectation and knowledge that those parents are reliable. Parents who have not created the opportunity for a secure attachment style in their children often don't understand the criticism because they observe their children wanting to be close to them, seeking reassurance or asking them for help. In fact, those parents have created insecurity.)

CauliflowerSqueeze · 20/11/2017 22:53

What a crock of shit.

Just because you visit year 3 and tell them about your job doesn’t mean you’re a Year 3 teacher!!

We had a lawyer come and talk to our Year 11s about her job. I very much doubt she went around telling everyone she was a Year 11 teacher.

And telling a 5 year old to use their common sense isn’t inappropriate or rude.

elephantoverthehill · 20/11/2017 22:54

Whoops!

sadeyedladyofthelowlands63 · 20/11/2017 23:00

If a child is asking you something that seems stupid they either need reassurance, have forgotten or genuinely don't know.
OR they've been told 37 times and weren't listening (teacher here in case it wasn't obvious).

Booie09 · 21/11/2017 06:28

No wonder children have no respect for teachers or any other adults! It's parents like you teaching them no respect!

ethelfleda · 21/11/2017 06:34

Another member of the professionally offended club Hmm

MaisyPops · 21/11/2017 06:58

If you don't think telling someone to use their common sense is rude then you are being rude without realising it.
Or you are one of those professionally offended people who need to get a grip
How would you feel if a colleague said it to you for eg?
Not a problem... because it's not being rude.

Considering in our staff room we say things like 'no shit sherlock' when someonr states the obvious and joke about 'oh what was that? It's your common sense flying out the window', it's probably safe to say we couldn't care less about daft phrases.

Wilburissomepig · 21/11/2017 07:07

If a child is asking you something that seems stupid they either need reassurance, have forgotten or genuinely don't know

You've never been in a classroom, have you ....

derxa · 21/11/2017 07:13

I have never heard DS use notes quite that high except when imitating his teacher. He sounds truly delightful. Hmm

Appuskidu · 21/11/2017 07:15

If a child is asking you something that seems stupid they either need reassurance, have forgotten or genuinely don't know.

You are not a teacher, are you?

Imagine you’d said the same thing (when you’ve finished your work, put it in the finished work tray) three times every single lesson very single day since 3rd September and then a child waves their work in your face, saying-‘Miss, Miss-I’ve finished-what do I do with this??’ you might say-‘ok, use your common sense-what do you think you should do with it?’

noeffingidea · 21/11/2017 07:30

Sounds like great advice to me, and something there should be a lot more of. A little bit of common sense often goes a long way.

YellowPrimula · 21/11/2017 07:39

To me 'common sense' is a bit like 'elbow grease' or one of those other nebulous catch phrases.

I would regard it as rude to say this to some one and would be shocked to hear a child say 'use your common sense', very impertinent. I would never say it to colleague unless in a jocular way to someone I knew very well , I might say it to my dh or my teenagers in frustration .

Also ' common sense' as I understand it is being used means the I instincts which you aquire from day to day living, it is not something you are born with, frankly I don't think common sense is very common in five year olds . In my experience they are still pretty unformed and impulsive.

Having said all of that I would not make it an issue with the teacher, I would remind my child that it is not appropriate for him to use the phrase

tinypop4 · 21/11/2017 07:46

It's not rude. And I expect teachers have said this to your 15 year old son at some point he just didn't feel the need to tell you because it's no biggie.

This is why it's hard to be a teacher sometimes, parents complaining when you merely speak to their child in a normal fashion.

Thymeout · 21/11/2017 12:20

in a normal fashion

Yes - that's it. Common sense is a good thing. So is engaging your brain before automatically asking a question that has been answered many, many times before. And it's not just silly questions. It's tying your shoelaces before you rush down the stairs, or leaving your bag where someone will fall over it or balancing your cup on the edge of the worktop where it will get knocked over.

Parents and teachers are preparing children to live in the real world, where people use down to earth language. They say 'naughty', not 'making bad choices' and 'rude' instead of 'inappropriate'. 'Use your common sense' is a straightforward instruction. And a very useful lesson to learn.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 21/11/2017 13:06

elephant DD really doesn't have any common sense. She is very intelligent, so is her adult older brother, and he has no common sense either. Nobody's perfect. I'm nowhere near as intelligent as DS1, but I have shitloads of common sense.

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 21/11/2017 13:09

I hear you sadeyed. Do you teach my DD? Quite often, she's too lazy to think.

Thymeout · 21/11/2017 13:14

Evil - this is very common. The absent-minded professor syndrome. I'm seriously concerned about the brightest of my grandchildren pondering the mystery of the universe as he walks straight under a bus.