Aibu to feel I'm just painfully average?

[DavidBeckhamsleftfoot]

Just that really.

I'm never going to be the one with the important well earning job. I'm never going to be the funniest or the cleverest. As I get older I realise that really there is no hope for success for myself and I should focus my attention on my DC so I can give them the springboard to help achieve whatever they wish in their own lives. Probably not explained it very well here, but I just feel like I'm not here for anything!

Hot, exactly my point. Maybe I'm just not engineered to make more of myself, no matter how much I want to. Maybe my view on myself will always be a barrier.

I have tried to better myself, go to college, do more. I could just never sustain it.

And most writers are never famous. But they can still be writers.

Absolutely agree with MakeitRain. My dad is a very accomplished academic in his field, he has dedicated much of his time and life to his career, has 'achieved' and received numerous accolades but now, as he gets older he has started looking back and telling me and my siblings to focus on living our lives for us, not for 'achievements'. He told me recently that every day he gave up his free time to work extra hours, write a paper or article or work on more and more studies, he has forgotten. They are now meaningless days in his past, the days he remembers are the ones that he did things with family and friends and the experiences that we've had and shared. High level achievements are nice but living a life you enjoy and that is fulfilling is in itself a huge achievement. Focus on doing the things that make you happy.

You could start by writing a blog? Then write for Huffington Post. Or join a creative writing group. Every achievement starts with small steps. You need to take your small steps.

East, I was writing earlier. I don't mean meaningless sentences that I jot down in half an hour. I want to write stories, but every time I try I lose them along the way.

I'm average. I'm a happy contented average. Happiness and being happy to me is more important than achieving for me

loobybearI am mid fifties. Loved ones matter a lot. But I know to be happy I have to have achievements, even if they are ones that others will not recognise. They matter to me.

I don't want to be famous. I just want to be able tohold something in my hand and think that was me, I did that all by myself.

I know what you mean, OP. On a bad day:
Never going to achieve meaningful promotion at work;
Average looking;
Jack of all trades but master of none.

On a good day:
I have a wonderful, kind loving husband who is 100% devoted to me and thinks the sun shines out of my arse (as I do him);
I live in a beautiful house, in a gfreat village;
I have a gorgeous sports car;
I have a great and extended family;
Plenty of friends;
Always meetings and events and occasions to look forward to:
A perfect job that is not over demanding and allows flexibility;
I'm gradually losing weight without it being an effort ;
So overall I have a great life.

If that is 'average' then that is great

Then you need to write in little blocks maybe? Ten minutes every hour?

I don't mean meaningless sentences that I jot down in half an hour.

Half an hour a day is half a day a week or 25 writing days a year. You can get a lot written in 25 days.

I blame school assemblies for this. "Everyone has a talent. Everyone is special. Everyone has something they excel at."

It is horseshit. You don't need to be anything other than average. Just being yourself is enough.

I watched a documentary ages ago about this and Mr &a Mrs Average were the happiest out of everyone.

There is nothing wrong with being average!

I was put under tremendous pressure to make something of myself. I was expected to really shine at school and then go onto a great career so my parents could boast of what great parents they are.

I was stressed out for years and became an alcoholic. When I was successful I was always under pressure to continue and achieve more. I never enjoyed my success.

I'm more average now and really enjoy my life.

Average is just that, nothing wrong with average.

Just imagine if everyone got between 85-95% in mathematics, really good results but it would be average

I felt a bit like that recently. I've done ok with my job, my earnings are pretty good, and I have a lovely family who I am proud of, but I found myself comparing my achievements to people I used to go to school with and finding myself lacking, people who have become well-known in their sporting fields.

It made me question what I wanted to achieve, and I realised that I felt very unfit and a bit inadequate. I've now taken up running, and while I'll never be winning races etc, I'm really proud that I've completed several longer distances and I feel more accomplished as a result.

But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

Thank you for sharing these lines, palliser, it’s just so true. Very few of us will change the world, we can just do our best to do good where we are. I feel like you do often, OP, but it’s my low self-esteem talking.

Part of the human condition is a feeling that you are special, that you should be making a particular mark on the world, leaving a great legacy.

But 99.999999% of us are not special and do not leave a particular mark on the world. There's nothing wrong with that.

If you're feeling unfulfilled in life, I'd say you're better off trying to find the source of your own internal unhappiness rather than judging how your achievements compare to other people.

I probably put it wrong in the OP.

I have accepted being 'average'. I know I will never have more than a minimum wage job, I will never own a house, I will die with nothing to my name. This much is fact. I guess years ago I just always thought I might do something, anything that might be of interest to someone else. I'm not unhappy with my life and yes there are things I would love to change, but I don't have the means to do so. I just thought it might be different by now.

Well, there's loads of people who do fabulous jobs. But only one of them will be the absolute best. Would you be impressed if I told you I was a lawyer? But there's thousands of lawyers in the country, I found the job too stressful and i no longer work as a solicitor. So to you, it might sound impressive but to me it feels like a failed career. The point I am making is that to others, I bet you ARE successful in terms of raising a family, being a good friend, being intelligent and good at writing etc.

You should go back to college and do the writing course if that is what you like. Writing is a great job to do around child care as well. Also, you don't have to do everything before you are 30. My mum gave up uni to have a family and got her PhD at 65. It's never too late and don't live vicariously through your kids- live for yourself and be an inspiration to your kids.

Are you surrounded by people who make you feel inadequate?

I get like this when I am.

I have accepted being 'average'. I know I will never have more than a minimum wage job, I will never own a house, I will die with nothing to my name. This much is fact.

Uh, why precisely is it fact??? Are you going to die tomorrow? If not, it's not fact. If you train to do a career by going back to uni, you are very likely to earn more than MW, there is no reason why in a few years you can't own a house and you probably have 60 years left on the planet to acquire things in.

Partner is lovely, very supportive, but realises our limits. I think mostly I'm just tired, so weary and exhausted that I really can't see how to summon the energy to create or do anything. I feel like I have nothing to give physically but mentally it's like I'm screaming 'do something, be somebody, why aren't you doing something!!'

Wild, the debts I have will take the better part of another decade to clear. My credit rating is beyond poor. The likelihood of me owning a house is unrealistic at best.

Average is underrated.