Is a nice advent calendar too much to expect?

[IsLindtTooMuchToAsk]

Ok, so......

Every year I buy DS and DH a well thought about, nice advent calendar, well in advance of December 1st.

Around about November 28th and usually while in the supermarket DH says “ooh, you don’t have an advent calendar yet, choose one you like while we’re here” and so I end up with “whatever’s left” in said Supermarket.

Same thing happens at Easter. Every. Fucking. Year.

So, around mid October this year I send DH a link to a very lovely advent calendar containing my absolute favourite chocolates (see username!) with a jokey #justsaying lol he says “is that a hint? Lol” YES!!!

Cut to start of November I come home with advent calendars for them both. Knowing DH prefers sweets to chocolate I bought him a Haribo one. Top wife points!!

Now here’s my dilemma...... there has been no hint or suggestion of my advent calendar so do I:

A) hold out til December 1st in the hope that my hint plus Haribo effort get me the advent calendar of my dreams?

B) start dropping some MAJOR hints again while he still has time to sort it?

C) outright tell him that he better be planning to buy me the fucking advent calendar.

D) but it myself because let’s face it, I’m not getting the advent calendar from DH am I?

I bought a lovely Cardboard one for the kids (13 and 10) from Canterbury Cathedral gift shop in August... 13 yr old also has a Haynes radio one (makes a small radio) and 10 yr old has the Aldi charm bracelet one. They will get a choc coin with breakfast too.
I did see the Gin one. I have lusted after the fancy perfume/handcream ones. But really I cannot justify (or afford) it.
I just saw (following Japanese's pretty German calendar link - it's lovely and £8 but the shipping takes it up to £20, so not good) the concept of a Reverse Advent.
You buy an item each day, put it in a box, take it to a Shelter / Refuge / Homeless person near Christmas. I'm going to do that this year.

OP buy your Calendar now. Wait to see if he has remembered. He might surprise you? Last year H gave me an M&S perfume one, bought in the Jan sales, as part of Mother's Day... it was 'home scents' too, ie pine / cinnamon (he had not looked).

With the Lindt one is it a different flavour every day?

Yes @Japanese it’s one with all the different flavour truffle balls in, like you get at the Selfridges pick and mix!!

*Buy it yourself but don't let him know.

That way, if he does buy you it then you have 2, and who doesn't want extra chocolate.*

@gunsandbanjos I like your style!!

I was given an assortment of Lindt balls from Germany which included a delicious chocolate orange flavour I hadn't seen before. Hope I can get those here.

Yes you can @RadioGaGoo !! They sell small boxes of them in Tesco and they have EVERY flavour you can think of in the Lindt pick n mix shops!!

Copy my trick - put DS in charge of yours. Then he will mither DH to get it, and you can hint to your hearts content about which one.

@Jasminedes Yes!!!!

But I genuinely did think this was a new phenomenon over the past couple of years.

@NewtsSuitcase I’ve had an advent calendar every year of my life that I can remember, and I’m almost 37, so definitely not a recent thing in my family! My parents also used to buy each other advent calendars.....

I bloody love Christmas, so why shouldn’t I count down to it like a child, I’m a big kid at heart

and absolutely YES to all the posters who “get” that’s it’s not about having an advent calendar, it’s the thought DH does (or does not?!) put into it that irks me

OP you sound really sweet but on this occasion I think you need to suck it up and get your own.

I totally agree with worra re gifts between couples. DH and I only buy gifts if we find something great and we know the other wants and it is good value and not spending money for the sake of it.

Neither of us gets offended if we don't get a gift on a particular occarion. Each to their own but i hate trying to buy something for the sake of it and so does he.

This is a bit different but it's only a calendar and you're a grown up so...

Advent calendars for adults are a new gimmicky thing. If you really want one buy one. FFS

I would say to DH let's buy our own advent calendars this year, then buy my own. Maybe he's just not so fussed about gifts/calendars?

OP I am right there with you.

One year DG got me a MALTESERS advent calendar. Yes, you read that correctly.

He now buys my Lindt one with great pomp and ceremony in October when they first come into the shops!

Also might be worth googling love languages - it may be that you and your DH express love in different ways

Advent Calendars for adults have been around a very long time, certainly not remotely a new thing!

I've had one every year of my life and I'm 39yrs old, I love Christmas, I love chocolate, it makes me smile. It's truly bizarre what some people get snarky about, life's short!
Our first baby is due in 2wks and I'm so excited for next Christmas when there'll be 3 Advent Calendars lined up and we'll be opening them together as a family ❤️

I understand you OP! I love an advent calendar too and for the people saying buy it yourself, why should you have to if its so easy for your husband to do and matters to you!

I think everyone’s expectations are too great now. What’s wrong with a calendar with just a pretty pircture behind it? And a lovely double picture of the baby Jesus on 24th .

Only joking OP buy it yourself and hand him his wallet and tell him to empty it.

I always get a lovely advent calendar off DH every year as he loves them. Tell your DH he needs to step up and refer to the good DHs on this thread.

Too late now but next year tell him to buy his own and you will get your own. If he complains tell him you are fed up getting a ‘last minute and nothing else left’ advent.

If he leaves his own to the last minute and gets stuck with a kids minion/ peppa pig / Spider-Man etc calendar then so be it. It might make him think twice and then you will at least get a decent one.

For this year I would just say to him that you want the Lindt one, they are selling out fast so either he gets it this weekend or he can give you the cash to get it yourself. Past experience shows he won’t take the initiative so I would just be honest. Life is too short to eat crappy chocolate.

I genuinely didn’t realise people buy their own advent calendars!?

Generally they don't, because advent calanders are for children.

I get an advent calendar for my son every year in M&S food hall because they are the only ones I've found with a nativity picture on it & chocolate inside.
Has colouring this year too.

Never seen what the point of Paw Patrol/Barbie/random skincare is, with pictures + small bits of tat that have nothing to do with Advent or Christmas.
If Christmas means nothing, why have a calendar to mark off the days until it happens?

If I was that desperate for a Lindt chocolate, I'd get some in my next shopping order or go to the corner shop.

I just bought 2 quid Galaxy ones for me and DH this year, as I spent £35 on my M&S beauty calendar

I did look at the Lindt ones but at Asda you can get 3 boxes of Lindt balls for a tenner so decided the calendar was a bit extortionate

@fluffygreenmonsterhoody OMG NOOOOOO!!! Lol

Also might be worth googling love languages - it may be that you and your DH express love in different ways

You are most definitely right here I think!!