Is a nice advent calendar too much to expect?

[IsLindtTooMuchToAsk]

Ok, so......

Every year I buy DS and DH a well thought about, nice advent calendar, well in advance of December 1st.

Around about November 28th and usually while in the supermarket DH says “ooh, you don’t have an advent calendar yet, choose one you like while we’re here” and so I end up with “whatever’s left” in said Supermarket.

Same thing happens at Easter. Every. Fucking. Year.

So, around mid October this year I send DH a link to a very lovely advent calendar containing my absolute favourite chocolates (see username!) with a jokey #justsaying lol he says “is that a hint? Lol” YES!!!

Cut to start of November I come home with advent calendars for them both. Knowing DH prefers sweets to chocolate I bought him a Haribo one. Top wife points!!

Now here’s my dilemma...... there has been no hint or suggestion of my advent calendar so do I:

A) hold out til December 1st in the hope that my hint plus Haribo effort get me the advent calendar of my dreams?

B) start dropping some MAJOR hints again while he still has time to sort it?

C) outright tell him that he better be planning to buy me the fucking advent calendar.

D) but it myself because let’s face it, I’m not getting the advent calendar from DH am I?

Really! I didn't know adults had them. We bought a family one when the kids lived at home but have never had one since.

You say you get left with whatever is in the supermarket, the Lindt £10 advent calenders are usually amongst the ones left.

You have seperate finances there, no problem with that. If you share the cost of food shopping then put 3 calenders on the food shopping so the cost is shared by you both.

Or buy your own and DH gets his own if he wants one.

I don’t understand, thought advent calendars were for children

I genuinely didn’t realise people buy their own advent calendars!?

And I genuinely didn't realise that adults have advent calendars! Honestly, I thought they were just for kids?

I can see why you're upset with DH but in this instance I'd let it go and just buy my own.

D if you’ve not made it explicit enough already.

Unlike a previous poster, I think that if you have a very strong expectation you need to make that 100% clear to your partner or you can’t blame them/get upset if they don’t meet it.

We used to reuse an ancient non-chocolate one (before they existed) when I was little, it was run trying to remember what the picture was each day. No gifts until the day in our house.

Just buy it yourself. I'm baffled that you would hint and yet get annoyed when he doesn't pick up on it, and still not buy your own after years of this.

I would say buy it yourself. This year my dh and dh husband said they did not want one when I asked so I have got my dds and myself one.

Why don't you all go shopping on a chosen day and buy them together? That way it's still a "nice thing" but nobody's left out or dissapointed.

It could also be a festive tradition....have a nice lunch...go advent calendar shopping!

Just getting up reading these - see this is why I love MN - just when I’m getting far too “entitled” I’m brought back to reality - thanks MNers

I’m giving him another week just to make sure I don’t bloody offend him if he has bought it, then I’m ordering myself the Lindt Truffle one from their website !!!

I didn't realise that people did not notice that advent calendars are marketed beyond children. I wonder what a five year old would do with a Clarins advent calender.

FFS what is it with fully grown adults insisting on staying so childlike? If you really must have an advent calendar/ Easter egg / certain Birthday gift, GET YOUR OWN. Gifts like these are for children, honestly words fail me on here sometimes

Buy it yourself.

Lol! Why do people get so angry over an adult buying an advent calender? Hilarious!

I’d buy myself the calendar if past years have shown you what he’s like. If there’s a specific one you want, get it now before it sells out.

I don’t think yabu to want him to stop and think for a moment about something you would like. You put thought and effort into getting him a nice one, it should cross his mind to do the same

I didn't realise that people did not notice that advent calendars are marketed beyond children. I wonder what a five year old would do with a Clarins advent calender

Or a Gin one?!

FFS what is it with fully grown adults insisting on staying so childlike? If you really must have an advent calendar/ Easter egg / certain Birthday gift, GET YOUR OWN. Gifts like these are for children, honestly words fail me on here sometimes

I'm confident not all advent calenders are aimed at children.

And as for the comment about certain eggs, gifts etc, I'm asked by parents, partner etc as they are happy to buy me something I need or want, doesn't make me childlike.

I always ask people what they would like too. It's much wasteful than guess buying or buying things you think are suitable that are actually not needed or useful to the recipient.

Are you a strict, "all fun and presents stops at 18" household?

A gin calender wouldn't last 25 days the way these last few month have been going

We bought the gin one last year, extravagant and we've still got some of the gins left (so rock and roll). I bought the M&S one this year. But I wouldn't be sitting hoping that my partner had bought me a chocolate one, if it was that big a deal I would buy one myself (or get a big box of mixed Lindor as they are likely to be better value for money). I do miss the old fashioned picture calendars though - does anywhere still do them? Off to Google I go...

OP I would definitely buy your own advent calendar.

I think perhaps the issue is that you feel that you’re putting effort into pleasing your husband over a particular thing whilst your husband is not doing the same for you.

Why is a advent calendar seen as a gift? I was mentioning to dh about the gin and beer ones in morrisons and we both agreed that they are pointless. Around our budget (well more) for presents we buy each other. And presents arrive on Christmas Day, not December 1st. And massively overpriced.

I'm surprised so many people are saying "but your own". Yes, OP could do that but, if it is a tradition in her family that adults get advent calendars & that they are gifts, why can't her husband respect that tradition and get her one and get it now so it is one she actually wants. OP has clearly put thought into choosing one for her DH and has no doubt done the same for her DC. Why can't he do the same?

Advent calendars are for kids.

Adults who wish to have one need to buy their own.

OP does your OH really want an advent calendar?
I know if I bought my OH one it would remain unopened. ( Unless it was a wine or craft beer one)
The last advent calendar I bought for my DS when he was 16 was still unopened in January.

This is such a silly non issue! Advent calendars aren't gifts, and most adults don't have them (yes yes I know gin and clarins but that's a very recent phenomenon and more like a treat than an advent calendar)

If you want one, buy one.

I always thought advent calendars were a religious thing for children. I know they’re MARKETED at adult but that doesn’t mean you have to have one. Or make a fuss about not getting the one you want.