To think getting quite drunk with a baby is odd??

[Choccywoccydoo10]

NC as could be outing.

So we are suppose to be visiting friends this weekend. They have a 6 month old we have a toddler. They want to go out for dinner and drink then go back to theirs and pop open the champagne. Apparently they have quite a few bottles. My DP friend then said he's going to guzzle the wine and his wife will be drinking too.

Obviously most of the drinking will be when the kids are in bed but AIBU to think you wouldn't do this?? What if something happened like an emergency and you needed to go out or the baby needed something. I wouldn't want to get really drunk while caring for my D'S.

I'm all for having fun and a laugh but a glass or 2 not 3 bottles of champagne and guzzling wine!

AIBU or would other people do this?

Well ive just caught up on this. Did not expect such a huge response!!!

So just to clarify some things. I dont mind him. Sober he is fine. Drunk the DH is like i said very loud lairy. With my DS and us staying im not sure this will be great as 1. my DS is an awful sleep and 2. we co sleep.

They are more DP friends than mine. The DH is my DP best friend. Even my DP though feels we perhaps shouldnt go and stay there and maybe get a hotel so we can leave fairly early before they get too drunk.

People can do whatever they like. I'm not preaching at all to anyone! All im saying is i wouldnt do it and am i the only one that thinks this?? Just to see if i was being unreasonable or not. Clearly alot of people think im being unreasonable. Fair enough thats your own opinion.

Yes im not entirely sure if the DW is getting smashed like her DH. Still im a bit uneasy as i know what hes like and im really not keen on the weed smoking.

Personally from my own experiences when little my parents used to get very drunk at friends bbq etc and then very hungover in the morning. I wouldnt like it. I'd be upset when my mum had her head down the toilet throwing up and my dad would be passed out in bed. So maybe i am projecting but personally from a childs point of view its not nice. Can be upsetting.

Im not a non drinker. I like going out and having drinks but ill make sure someone is looking after my DS who is sober.

There's nothing wrong with a couple of drinks at home when baby is in bed and some people handle alcohol better than others. I can drink 5-6 shots before I start feeling tipsy for example whereas my friend feels drunk after 2. So it depends on a few factors.

I wouldn't be worried about needing to drive or unlikely emergencies but I wouldn't want to be drunk in charge of a 6 month old, even sleeping as they could easily wake (and often do), In fact the baby is more likely to wake up with people over talking in louder voices etc.

Clearly alot of people think im being unreasonable. Fair enough thats your own opinion

You're not unreasonable to NOT drink. You are unreasonable once you say that the rest of us should not do things because you don't approve if them.
I hope you can see the difference because some of those agreeing with you can't seem to grasp it.

I couldn't do it. Tipsy yeah maybe but drunk no. I don't understand how it ok to be drunk when in charge of children. Doesn't look good if you turn up to hospital out of it. Jut not something I would do.

choccy fwiw the plan of booking a hotel so you've got the option of going if things do get out of hand is what I'd do. If anything, I feel a bit sorry for the DW as it sounds a bit as though the DH hasn't grown up much since having the baby but hopefully it'll go better than expected and hopefully he's just talking the talk.

i guess i'm going to come over all pearl-clutchery now but i'd not be chuffed about my DC being in a house if weed was being smoked, that just doesn't sit right with me :)

hot it's not like I'm preaching and going up to these parents and telling them how I disagree with their parenting. I'm simply asking if people agree with my opinion or not. That is it. A lot of people have very different opinions. Fine it's a free world we are not all going to agree. I'm not going to get nasty if you think differently to me.

bestfriend almost certain this is the route we will go down now. I've just been told by DP that the DH and DW sleep in separate rooms so he can sleep. Poor woman. Seems like she just gets left to it from what I hear from DP

Is it any wonder many of us like to have a good drink now and then. Most of us live very stressful lives.

You may not get nasty, but the others on your thread and on your side have done.
What other parents choose to do is nobodies business but theirs.

I wouldn't go if he's a horrible lairy drunk.
I don't think having a few drinks when kids are in bed is bad but then it depends how much you are talking about!

What other parents choose to do is nobodies business but theirs
And yet, even when I categorically stated that I couldn’t care what other people did, you felt it necessary to continue to tell me what I “really” thought.

Right, so the actual issue is that your husband's best friend is an obnoxious boor and he becomes even more so after a few drinks.

That's an entirely different issue to your OP

Op, I think you have been given a particularly hard time on this thread over a situation that I and others (although seemingly not on this thread) would not be comfortable with.

The fact of the matter is that if you are caring for children, then you should be in a sound state of mind, or at the very least, 1 of you should be. Yes, emergency situations are fortunately rare, but is it really worth the risk? I know for sure that if my dd needed me, for whatever reason, I would not feel comfortable picking her up and attending to her, if my mind was fuzzy from alcohol. No not everyone has a car, so the being able to drive a car is a slightly redundant point, however you may end up in a situation where someone needs to react quickly, and if you are all drunk then noone can.

I find it quite astounding that the rare event of an emergency is enough for people to think getting drunk is ok, but in other scenarios where no responsible adult is available most would be appalled. Example, children are in bed, you need some milk or whatever, so you quickly pop to a neighbour or shop. Is that ok? No of course it isn't. Why? Because in the rare event an emergency or anything happens in the 5 minutes you are gone, something could happen, and most people realize this and would never ever take the risk. How is an emergency like this any less likely to happen when you are drunk?

Drinking culture in the UK is an absolute mystery to me. Perhaps it's because I have family in the med who would never even dream of "planning" to get drunk. It's just not the done thing. For some reason the UK seems to view this not just as acceptable behaviour, but actually normal behaviour, and those of us that don't engage are the strange ones!

Op, stick to what you believe, you are being completely reasonable in wanting at least 1 sober adult in the house with the children. Don't let this thread make you think otherwise.

@Mumsiemummy1 what is wrong with popping next door to get something if your child is in bed?

I've been next door to request something or collect a parcel when DD has been in bed. I was away for less than five minutes. My next door neighbours front door way is closer to DDs bedroom than the back of the garden and DH and I often sit at the end of the garden talking in summer when DDs in bed or in the back tv area and I don't think that's neglectful.

Am I supposed to always be within five foot of her even when she's asleep? Some parents are unbelievably over anxious and judgemental. I'm not aiming this at you but I really don't believe some on here are as perfect as they're making out and they're trying to make others feel inferior. When I see people working hard to present a picture of perfect parenting I cast my mind back to Peaches Geldof and her attachment parenting preaching....

As a substance misuse nurse this thread has made me laugh.

I enjoy getting sloshed from time to time, this gives me empathy towards people with addiction as I understand they initially enjoyed getting completely ruined from their substance of choice, be it alcohol or spice. People misuse and abuse alcohol and over drugs because they like it and this goes for the majority of adults that drink beyond 1 pint.

As for my household, we have a discussion about who is going to be the responsible adult when we know we will be drinking beyond a couple of pints each. This doesn’t mean we expect each other to stay sober, but rather have the ability to respond adequately to an emergency. For me this personally means I stop at around 12 units, or 4 strong pints/4 large glasses of wine. These binge drinking episodes of ours are about once a month.

I’m NOT going to stay sober for the next 13 years! I’m Eastern European and I drink far less than usual for my culture. UK doesn’t really have that much of a problem in my opinion!

@caprion76 I'm sorry, but the doing let standards on mn are unreal.

If I posted a thread now that said aibu - went next door for 10 minutes whilst baby was sleeping, mners would rip me a new one!

No it isn't acceptable to leave a sleeping baby alone in a house for any period of time.

*double standards

By your reckoning @mumsiemummy1 women can't even do any gardening if their children are asleep in the house.

You're one of those people who drags all their kids into the petrol station with them aren't you?

@jigglytuff yes I would, and it's typical mn style to see that as a negative.

The double standards here are laughable, you only have to look at threads about where baby should sleep, to see people loosing their minds over the suggestion that they aren't in the room with baby at all times...but suddenly its ok to pop over the road 🙄

Only on mumsnets are women critised for following regulated advice, picking and choosing what suits their lifestyles, and blasting anyone who disagrees.

And yet, even when I categorically stated that I couldn’t care what other people did, you felt it necessary to continue to tell me what I “really” thought.

Cos you lied and everyone reading your posts can see that. Your denials convinced no-one at all.

The double standards here are laughable, you only have to look at threads about where baby should sleep, to see people loosing their minds over the suggestion that they aren't in the room with baby at all times...but suddenly its ok to pop over the road

It's different people. You do understand that MN isn't one person? It's people with varying opinions answering different questions. Not double standards at all.

What do people think they are doing when they post on here?

@Mumsiemummy1 - You said 'children in bed' not baby. I have collected missed Amazon parcels from next door (less than 2 minutes involving knocking and waiting in their hallway by door when DD was a baby in bed) and if anyone said I was a bad parent for that I would piss myself laughing then wonder about their mental health.

Also is it okay to sit in the garden or do you have to be on standby outside the babies door with a telephone in one hand and the other hand hovering over the number 9 just in case. Do you also have to always be fully dressed with shoes on in case you have to make that emergency dash to A&E too? I'd hate to live with that level of anxiety.

For what it's worth, when DD was little I never drank to excess because I'd hate to be hungover looking after a baby and now she's older I think she's seen my tipsy once but never drunk (I hate the feeling of being drunk). We tend to wait until she's gone to bed to have a drink anyway as I don't want her to regularly associate me with alcohol.

Typical MN style to see dragging your children across the forecourt as more dangerous than leaving them in the car while you pay for petrol? Yep, that typical MN thing of engaging your brain and carrying out a risk assessment.

You might be better off on Nethuns.

@capricorn76 op opened her question with the statement that her child was 6 months old, therefore based on her original question the term child is applicable to all children babies or otherwise.

Yea other people on here have got nasty. We all have different opinions!!

Well it sounded as if she was going to get drunk too but from speaking to my DP more it sounds like he is going to get very drunk/stoned and shes going to just have a few. Anyway I'm still not happy him getting so drunk as he gets awfully loud. Therefore we are staying in a hotel now.