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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being unreasonable to think it unacceptable that someone else’s child lied to me?

113 replies

Provincialady · 15/11/2017 18:49

Probably sounds ridiculous. This child came for dinner and then had a chocolate for pudding and asked for another, I said yes, but then she pretended she hadn’t had the first (i.e. so she wanted two). My daughter surprised, said ‘But I saw you eating it’. Friend said ‘No, I didn’t.’ Anyway, I let her have another and then just to check even though I too was certain I had seen her eating one, counted the spaces! (petty, who me?!). I said a bit later, ‘I counted the chocolates, an extra one has gone’. I pretended to blame my own daughter and my toddler (even though I’d seen the friend eat the wretched chocolate). But still she didn’t admit. It was all quite jovial and we were all smiling. My DH told me (not in front of them) to stop it and that I was being unreasonable and that she’s only 6 (nearly 7) and that it is perfectly normal. Is it? To persistently lie even though two people have seen you eating it? They then asked if they could have biscuits and I said (again trying to sound jokey) ‘Not unless I find out who had the chocolate!’ Then both friend and dd came up to me and said ‘We both did’ (they didn’t as there was only one missing). Anyway, I let them both have a biscuit. But DH is pretty angry with me and says that I was unkind and unreasonable and making the friend feel uncomfortable. Was I? Really?

OP posts:
Provincialady · 15/11/2017 21:09

Gnome - I am! I wanted to give her a big kiss, but even I (unpleasant and unhinged as I am) could see that I shouldn't do that in front of other child. Instead, I gave them both a friendly pat on the head and said 'Well done you two.'

OP posts:
CherryChasingDotMuncher · 15/11/2017 21:12

I agree with others that this was an over reaction but crikey folks lay off the OP a little! She’s admitted her mistake.

iamyourequal · 15/11/2017 21:17

*SamineShaw

I’m with you OP, I have expectations of my kids behaviour at other people’s houses and I expect friends to follow the same rules when they come here. Stealing is a no no, regardless of the size/value.*
I second this post. OP isn't going over the top and making a big thing of anything. She was surprised the little girl told a bare faced lie and only wanted to come on here to see what others thought of it. She didn't get angry at the kid or go OTT. She has learned not to be so bothered about such things to such an extent in the future.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 15/11/2017 21:24

Haha some of you are so no-siree strident I wonder how you negotiate life
Do you have truth inquisitions to establish whom is the perpetrator in confectionary thefts
Serial family calling outs and denouncement to reinforce you don’t tolerate that sort of thing

ittakes2 · 15/11/2017 21:47

Over reaction. You made a huge deal out of it. I agree it's terrible she lied etc but I just would have continued on. Might think twice about inviting her over again as I would question what else she was prepared to lie about but unnecessary to make such a huge deal out of it. Especially pretending to blame your poor innocent children! Sounds like you were on a mission to get a confession at any cost!

MaidenMotherCrone · 15/11/2017 23:04

Royston Vasey?

valuerangeweetabixandmilk · 15/11/2017 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 15/11/2017 23:18

Sounds like she comes from a home where her parents know the meaning of a joke and she can jokingly say with chocolate all over her face that she hasn't had any cake and it's all good fun. She probably thought wtf when she started getting the Spanish Inquisition over a chocolate! She was trying to joke with you op. You saw her take the chocolate - she knew that you saw her. Maybe let your dh host the play dates in future? 😂

Fianceechickie · 15/11/2017 23:20

A lie is a lie in my book. If my child had lied so blatantly at a friend’s house I would want their mum to call them out on it, not in a horrible way obviously but I think I would have just said ‘no, that’s it now, you’ve had two’ and not given either child any more. Say ‘ it’s not nice to tell fibs’ or similar. You probably went a bit far after the initial incident but I def think it’s not on. If you let kids get away with little lies and benefit from it, it teaches a bad lesson for the future.

Fianceechickie · 15/11/2017 23:24

Should have added that I can’t believe the amount of posters saying ‘kids are cheeky’. What?? They’re only cheeky if brought up by parents who allow cheek. Cheek breeds rudeness and insolence.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 15/11/2017 23:25

When my kids have friends over if we have chocolates/biscuits after tea I open them and put them on the table and unless anyone is cramming the whole lot into their mouth and not sharing I would pay no attention to how many people had taken or be counting the spaces/quizzing the kids on how many they had had. For a play date it doesn't really sound like it was a barrel of laughs op!

Winterhotchocolate · 15/11/2017 23:44

‘We both did’ —so your DD lied to say she had taken the chocolate. Sounds like she may have been embarrassed and wanted you to stop

You were passive aggressive with someone else’s child. I wouldn’t come to your house again if you had done that to me when I was 6. I expect the friend felt confused and scared.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 16/11/2017 19:54

I’m presuming you don’t have young children Fianceechickie with that silly meh-heh not in my house post

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