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Original poster

To ask if you think he is a lying twat?!!

109 replies

YotkshirePud35 · 15/11/2017 08:44

Posted on here the other day about my H going away on a 4 day trip with work, and one of the women he was away with he constantly 'likes' her selfies on FB.

He has cheated before so I'm struggling to trust.

So, since he's been back yesterday, he is constantly on whatsapp. He hardly used this before, but he was on line pretty much all day yesterday.

Then last night when he went to bed, he was constantly on line for an hour. Then he turned his last seen off.

This morning I noticed he has put a pin lock on his phone, never had this before.

I confronted him and he said he's just helping a friend who's going through a really difficult time atm.

So why would you turn your last seen off and put a pin lock on the phone if it was innocent?

He has just spent 4 days away on work with her?

Am I being paranoid?

OP posts:
Elendon · 15/11/2017 10:31

Yes he is lying. So sorry.

He's probably done it more than once as well. Sorry, but the old excuse she is a friend in need is shite. He probably will or won't leave you for her. But it will be his decision, and his alone.

ShoesHaveSouls · 15/11/2017 10:33

"just helping out a friend going through a hard time" - it's as old as the hills that one.

Sorry.

Dobbyandme · 15/11/2017 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mittens1969 · 15/11/2017 10:46

It does sound like he’s lying, OP. I’m very sorry. Flowers

MuncheysMummy · 15/11/2017 10:55

Sit him down the second he gets home and tell him to hand over his phone instantly without looking at it first then ask him the pin code if he refuses its confirmed he's cheating and it's over. If he's nothing to hide he will have no problem letting you browse through his phone

Original poster
YotkshirePud35 · 15/11/2017 10:58

Just on my break to catch up on messages.

Asked him outright if he has fucked her. He said no, she has become a friend and she is having marriage problems and turned to him for advice.

I asked why he has turned the last seen off on whatsapp, he said he hasn't, well it isn't on.

I haven't mentioned the pin because he will know I've tried his phone. I might have a go at trying out the code later, I t will probably be birthdays so shouldn't be too hard.

I've told him I know which one it is and told him the name, he said it might be or it might not be. Surely if he was just being a friend he would say her name?

OP posts:
K0729P · 15/11/2017 11:00

Why are you letting him treat you like a mug?

He's trying to cover his tracks. Either he tells you what's going on or he needs to leave/you leave (whatever is appropriate).

Trust is gone in your relationship, why spend more time and effort letting him lie to your face?

toolonglurking · 15/11/2017 11:03

Stop playing games with him and trying to catch him out. The trust has gone, it's over.
He cheated before, so if you think he's cheating again he should be very open and honest with you ie let you see his phone.

He's being cagey. Leave.
Do you have children/mortgage? If not, just walk away, heal and trust yourself.

Elendon · 15/11/2017 11:04

Of course he has said no. He's probably going to give you the spiel about her being a bit crazy, if you persist.

Don't fall for it. This is his bad behaviour. Not yours.

FlowerPot1234 · 15/11/2017 11:19

he's just helping a friend who's going through a really difficult time atm.

Flowers I'm sorry, but that line is very often used by those cheating.

I'd tell him that the messaging is making you uncomfortable and I'd ask to see the messages. If the woman is having marriage problems and his texts are 'helping' her, he'd have no problem showing you just how helpful he is being.

Are you strong enough and in a good place mentally to cope with what you might find/not find but obviously deduce if he refuses to show you?

Clandestino · 15/11/2017 11:21

He seems to have no respect for you and is treating you like an idiot. Honestly, if one of my male friends were going through relationship trouble, I'd be checking with DH for a male perspective.
We have PINs but we know each other PINs and have been known to use each other's tablets or whatever if needed and have a cloud-share and family accounts for just about everything.
As a matter of fact I actually have no reason to snoop around on his phone or tablet and never went into his mails or whatsapp even if I could. TBH, if he wanted to keep anything really secret, he could but in my opinion if someone's a cheating arsehole, they can fuck off.

Ausparent · 15/11/2017 11:24

If he is telling the truth there is no reason for him to keep information from you. It is not like you will go talking to her about it. Either he is lying or he doesn't trust you.

I am afraid I would go with the former.

HotelEuphoria · 15/11/2017 11:27

Sorry but if I was going through marriage problems I would discuss with my friends, not some male work colleague. refusing to acknowledge which friend he has been "helping" is ludicrous.

LakieLady · 15/11/2017 11:29

Oh dear. I don't believe him and I don't think you do, either OP.

For me, when the trust has gone, it's over.

hellsbellsmelons · 15/11/2017 11:33

Asked him outright if he has fucked her. He said no
Ohhhhh. Well that's alright then.
He obviously isn't [face plant]

Booboobooboo84 · 15/11/2017 11:35

Eurghghgh what a twat.

Tell him it’s good he’s helping a friend with her marriage issues as he has some of his own she can help him with- his marriage is over cos you don’t trust him and he doesn’t care enough to do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust.

ByThePowerOfRa · 15/11/2017 11:35

“It might be her” Hmm

That’s really shifty.

SugaredSocks · 15/11/2017 11:37

I’m so sorry but it’s not looking good and I think sadly you know it even if you aren’t quiet ready to admit it yet. If he was genuinely helping out a friend he’d be more than happy to discuss it with you and would say who it is too as why would there be a reason to not confirm who it is. My advice to you would be to get your ducks in a row before you do anything. You don’t deserve to be treated like this even if there’s an outside chance he’s not doing anything with this woman it’s still no way to be treating you especially after what you’ve been through.

Rubbermaid · 15/11/2017 11:38

Lying twat, sorry Flowers

DeadGood · 15/11/2017 11:40

He really is laughably pathetic, isn’t he? By making it so blindingly obvious, he has tripped himself up. Idiot.

AnnieHoo · 15/11/2017 11:50

What a twat.

Good advice to get your ducks in a row.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/11/2017 11:52

Doesn’t look good. As there are trust issues in your marriage, I don’t think it would be at all unreasonable to tell him he needs to stop all communication with her. But as is, he won’t even say who it is let alone be honest and open with you. Idiot.

Wheresthebeach · 15/11/2017 11:53

So he's making you play a guessing game?

I think he's cheating again and he'll be in cover up mode. Demand to see the phone now, and to read all messages now.

Of just stop wasting your time on someone who clearly likes to play games.

Ambonsai · 15/11/2017 11:55

What do you mean switch off 'last seen'?

Last seen is when he was last in Whatsapp.

Pickleypickles · 15/11/2017 12:05

It doesnt look good OP Sad especially not if as you said he has already cheated before.
If it wasnt cheating and he was sorry for previous behaviour and had nothing to hide then surely he would have no problem with ypu reading the whatsapp conversation between him and this "friend" he is helping, because surely he would understand why you arw uncomfortable and want to clear the eye Wink
I would tell him that.

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