To ask if you think he is a lying twat?!!

[YotkshirePud35]

Posted on here the other day about my H going away on a 4 day trip with work, and one of the women he was away with he constantly 'likes' her selfies on FB.

He has cheated before so I'm struggling to trust.

So, since he's been back yesterday, he is constantly on whatsapp. He hardly used this before, but he was on line pretty much all day yesterday.

Then last night when he went to bed, he was constantly on line for an hour. Then he turned his last seen off.

This morning I noticed he has put a pin lock on his phone, never had this before.

I confronted him and he said he's just helping a friend who's going through a really difficult time atm.

So why would you turn your last seen off and put a pin lock on the phone if it was innocent?

He has just spent 4 days away on work with her?

Am I being paranoid?

definitely try and get into his phone. could you take the SIM out and put it in yours?

So he's cheated before.
He'd doing it again.
And you are waiting for what exactly..???
Do you have DC together?
Mortgage?
Honestly, you don't trust him and I don't blame you.
No trust = No relationship
And he's hardly trying to build the trust.
You should have full access to all of his devices.
That's a standard thing when building up trust.
And don't forget... Trust takes a lifetime to rebuild once it's broken.

Lying twat would be my thought. Sorry OP.

He's cheating on you. I'm really sorry.

If you want, you can give him one last chance. Look him dead in the eye, say "I think you're doing something you don't want me to know about. You can either give me your phone right now, or we are over" and mean it.

He will probably get angry as a delaying tactic, accuse you of not trusting him and storm off. Later he will calm down, and say that of course you can see his phone if you really need the reassurance. By now he will have destroyed all evidence and be better at hiding his tracks.

Look. You KNOW he is cheating. All you have to decide now is if you are going to demean yourself by chasing 'proof'. Remember that you don't have to get him to agree or admit it, you can simply say "I know you are cheating. This relationship is over". No matter how much he blusters and denies and obfusticates, he know he has cheated and he knows you know. You don't have to keep going on about it, or repeat yourself, or get him to fess up. You can state it as a fact and progress on that basis.

Sorry, I agree with the others, suspicious.

Jesus, I would be suspicious as hell in those circumstances, and I also think anyone who says they wouldn't is lying through their shiny teeth!

My ex was a serial cheater (and yes, I stayed way too long and tried too many times). I always knew when something was up when he started safeguarding his phone. It's definitely suspicious and worth following up.

I suppose the question could be, what are you going to do? Do you choose to turn a blind eye to this behaviour? Accept that there is little trust in your relationship and start to make plans? Confront him and be prepared for the consequences?

Ime.

Unless you have out of control trust issues.

If you suspect your usually going to be right.

What's the point in going through all this again OP?

Cheated before? He should be hyper aware of the responsibility he has now to be utterly above board and supportive of the fact that you naturally won't be able to trust him unthinkingly.

That would be, of course, if he wasn't a habitual cheater and liar that you were daft to forgive.

Pack him a bag. Tell him his choice is to take the bag and go, or hand over the phone and give you the code.

I think you know the answer OP, go with your gut.

I'm sorry but 'once a cheat always a cheat' do you really want all this stress every time he goes away or goes out for a night? Every time he picks up his phone?

Doesn't look good.

No trust = no relationship.

Thats no way for either of you to live.

Keep your dignity, end the relationship.

His work colleague is the friend in difficulty. She is finding it difficult to get shagged so he is helping her out.

Suspicious to me sorry.

I confronted him and he said he's just helping a friend who's going through a really difficult time atm.

Ah that old line. Run it through Google Translate and you'll likely get:

"I've found an emotionally vulnerable woman who is ripe for the plucking".

Sorry OP, but I think you know the answer already.

This way madness lies.

If there's no trust then the relationship is all but officially finished.

What are your circumstances like? Dc, mortgage, work and family?

Tbh, he really should have moved the earth to repair the trust you lost in him when the initial affair took place.

You know he's cheating again don't you.
Gather your dignity and walk.

Yep. Lying twat. What are you going to do?

you're gonna think I'm nuts, but this always works for me. If I ever feel tricked or that's something is off I always say to myself 'I don't miss a trick' I say it when I wake up or when my faith starts to wobble, and I believe with utter conviction when I'm saying it too myself. Patience is key, every time that horrible feeling comes to mind, I repeat " I don't miss a trick" and I let the moment go. A situation ALWAYS follows and shows me whether I'm justified to feel that way and I really, Don't miss a trick. Other than spy on him or nick his phone I don't know what else you can do xxx

Trust your gut instinct. You know what’s going on.

I’m so sorry

You're so way down on this mans list of priorities he isn't even that fussed about concealing his behaviour around you.

"Lose" your phone and ask to borrow his to make a call/google something. If he flusters about handing it over, then he has something to hide.

I agree with PP, ask to see the phone and ask him to take the pin off. If he refuses then you have your answer.

He's lying.