To ask of times when you were really broke

[Dollardime]

We've had a really hard time financially the past 3 months. Bill after bill after bill.

My car has just failed it's MOT and needs £230 worth of work done it which we physically haven't got.

I feel really down and depressed today - please give me times of when you were broke and how it got better on the end to give me some hope 😞

I should add I'm a hoarder of essentials, so there's a cupboard that's full of bathroom & toiletry essentials. The shed is full of kitchen stuff. Dry foods in another full size cupboard. Everything is bought in bulk.

When at friends if they don't have what I consider essentials then I'll order them off Amazon. I can't recall exactly what but I like to think that there's a months stash of food (I leave recipes so they know how to bring it together)

Even now it's hard to justify brand foods unless meat which I'm really fussy over.

Silly things like growing your own onions & salad. So easy.

I know it doesn't help now, but prepare, prepare, prepare.

only one i could think of is i had to once phone into work sick for about 4 days as i couldnt afford the travel to work

My first husband was an alcoholic so used to spend all the money on drink. I ate so little that people thought I was anorexic as there just wasn't enough money for food. If we were lucky a bit of boiled rice with sugar for dinner. One of the worst days for me was when it snowed and my shoes - my only shoes - had massive holes in that went straight through to the pavement so I walked home from work directly on the snow. It did get better though. I hardened my attitudes, left him to it, did a levels and uni and now have a lovely husband, good job. And savings.

Living off 8p noodles and sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a room full of damp. Shit times. No dcs at the time thank god. Living in my own family home now and sleep in a nice bedroom. Never thought i would get here

Zombie I’m the same. A few weeks ago DH told me I might have more stock than the local shop.

Making pancakes with water, flour and salt, dry boiled potatoes or pasta as there was nothing else.

Fresherbs - I wish we could do like a MN fund so if a family is in that way, a parcel with a months worth of what they need is sent. I think you learn more about budgeting from being broke.

I've also insisted toys, clothes, bedding, old curtains etc, even down to shoes, there was a time when every 6 weeks one DC would have a growth spurt, I didn't want the shoes to go to a charity, I wanted them to go to a child who would feel like a King/Queen in comfy shoes.
Same with clothes & toys. Think about where you're donating. I saw a pair of Clarkes in a charity shop for £7.50!

I spend my spare time knitting and making things like storage solutions to help those shops that do family start up kits. It took a lot of persuading but even do an essentials basket.

I got told off for being condescending giving family gifts of I've donated this to the food shelter on your behalf. But when people have everything what do you buy them. I know in my circle if someone wants something they'll buy it.

If this Christmas you could put together a food parcel for a family who otherwise would have beans on toast.

Even with shampoo and toothpaste it's always whatever's on offer or home brand coconut shampoo.

Our one luxury is bulk bought water. That's the only thing I think we could do without.

Growing up poor wasn't nice but taught so many life lessons.

Due to circumstances mentioned above I'm a food hoarder now and that's why I fail at every attempt of budgeting. Comes in handy like last Christmas when DC were ill, no fat chance of going to the shops and all food deliveries booked. We managed to survive on the contents of freezer, cupboards and butcher's parcel 😀

When we got our first house there were times when we had very little left over, all the bills were paid but I lived in fear of being unable to pay for necessary work to the house. The house had issues that hadn't been flagged up in the survey that needed more money to fix than we had and that was extremely stressful. I existed in a state of anxiety in case the boiler broke or the roof needed work

I once had no money to put to a colleagues birthday collection so I made buns using up things I had in, only I burnt them and had no money for more eggs so ended up giving her burnt buns. I always get her an extra present now things are better.

I ignored family birthdays and pleaded ignorance so I didn't have to waste money on a card and stamp. We didn't go on holiday for years and I had no idea how people could afford to. We were thoughtlessly given a dog as a present and I deeply resented the extra cost.

I once went into a meeting room after they'd had a catered lunch, lots of sandwiches and bags of crisps had been left behind and I felt like it was a gift from god because it was enough to give me a few days with free lunches. I stuffed them in my pockets and under my coat.

I still go for Sunday dinner with family because in my head it's one less meal to buy. I like to stockpile food and refuse to throw away clothes unless they are very tatty. I feel stress if things are wasted, my husband overcooked four pieces of bacon yesterday and I was so mad at the waste. I never want to go without if I can help it, I always dreamed of working part time but I don't think I can feel comfortable with voluntarily returning to that kind of frugality.

Right now! We're skint but not broke, if that makes sense.

A few years ago, with an ex who refused to work very hard, I had 92p to make dinner. I was starving. I went to tesco and was weighing individual veg for a stew. I miscalculated and had to ask the server at the till to hold on while I swapped for a smaller onion.

At the time I laughed about it, now I have a daughter and would not find it funny at all. So sorry here for all the people who have struggled and those who have also had DC to feed.

It will get better OP

So nice to hear everyone's story's. It's made me feel that I am not alone. Life's really is one hell of a journey. Thanks to everyone for sharing and wishing you all love, peace, good health and happiness. 💐

My parents once said 'oh don't get us a gift, we don't want anything, just take us out for a meal'. Never again. I was so skint that I ate before I went so I wouldn't have to buy much. I had tap water whilst they ordered three courses plus coffees, steaks, wine, side dishes. I cried as I drove home.

Years and years ago I was entrenched in payday loan debt, and was paying back so much I used to budget for food where I couldn’t go 20p over as I wouldn’t be able to afford it. I was a nervous wreck putting veg through the tills in case it was more than expected (I went for the single veg as it was cheaper). At one point I bought an enormous bag of jacket potatoes and had nothing else in for a couple of weeks and ate them with the sprouts growing out.

Fast forward 10+ years and we’re very comfortably off, and I slowly made my way out of debt. I couldn’t get credit for love nor money then, and now I regularly get offered loans credit cards etc. Just when I don’t need them 🙄

We had just £8 left in change and zero food for the week. We're talking one tin of tomatoes and some penne pasta in the bare cupboard. The petrol light was flashing in the car and as we lived rurally with no public transport it was a godsend that the kids had finished school for Christmas and we didn't have to make the drive to get them to and from school.
DH had £50 in M&S vouchers from the previous Christmas bonus from work so we used the £8 for fuel and drove 30 miles to the nearest M&S. as expensive as their food is, you can actually get enough meals for a week for a family of 5!

Since then we always save DH's M&S vouchers just in case it happens again. Sadly, just this month my clutch has died, the exhaust needs replacing, my brakes are buggered and I need two new tyres, not to mention both cars MOTs are up in November. I wouldn't be surprised if we end up using the vouchers before Christmas to keep afloat.

Our situation isn't as bad as many here but it is the worst state I've been in financially.

New house last year, unplanned DS2 born this year when all our savings have went on the house. I'm now at the point where I've had to use DS1 savings to survive and I've been in my overdraft every day for the last few months. I feel awful using his savings to help us live and keep things as normal as possible for DS1 but take some small comfort in knowing it'll all be replaced before the end of next year and he will never know. However having to take money out your kids piggy bank and savings to buy the weekly shop is a low for me.

I cannot afford DS1 music lesson or to pay my car insurance so my DM has taken over. DM has also transferred money in to my account this month so I could do something with DS1 and DS2 as it has been months since we've even managed to do anything that costs money together.

I have an excel spreadsheet to keep track of budgeting down to the last degree, check the bank daily and live in a constant state of worry and anxiety over money. I'm comforted by the fact that it'll be okay again soon as I'm back to work in the new year.

Reading this has made me feel grateful for still having food, however basic and own brand, a roof we own and heating. Some of the posters here are incredible.

When my daughter was 6 week old prem 0.2nd percentile feeding every hour day and night with formula and breast horrible silent reflux and never slept for more that 45 min on my shoulder my hubby was made redundant we had debt from when I had been ill off work for 6months we where paying it off at the time we had to pay our credit cards off with his redundancy
We had to pay for mortgage council tax gas electric water food all baby micro nappy only in pampers as it was the only ones did this size available in our town with lack of eating and stress I lost my breast milk after 3 months and formula all with standard maternity pay £539 which would have paid our mortgage only from September on our wedding anniversary 👌
wasn’t in entitled to child tax credit until 7 April because we earned to much year before my husband could sign on either as he was was a student as ( and working full time before redundancy)
It was the most uncertain stressful experience of my life but I had to go back to work early Luckily for us my parents are very generously fed us and paid our mortgage so we aren’t homeless I cannot express how thankful I am
I always feel horrible for anyone It this situation I am giving all our baby things to the Salvation Army because I pray it helps some poor soul it not much but it’s all I have my situation isn’t much better yet my husband has a job and still a student and I am working and looking after our Dc

still feel anger to ward the company my husband worked for was as they are making record profits and removing full time permanent staff to 3 month flexi contracts 13 hours but we will make you work any hours full time with 24 notice say no 3 times your sacked type

I praying things only get better for everyone

I left home at 16 and earned £50 a week. This has to cover everything. Bills, food, transport etc. Where I lived it was 20p for a 3 minute shower (in shared bathroom). I showered a couple of times a week. From there I moved into shared housing. And for many years I lived in dodgy flats, flat shares and many unsafe places. That was over 20 years ago and I am now in a good position financially. I own my home and 2 rental properties. Through hard work and frankly good luck. But I NEVER forget. Not ever. I’m always waiting for it to go. For it to change and to be poor again. I always pay it forward. Whilst I don’t need things I will donate them to charity and help other people out. But that’s because in the back of my mind I am convinced that one day I will need it. That one day everything will be taken away and I will be in the same position again. And it terrifies me. So much so that I don’t enjoy things the way I should.

ZombieVampireHedgehog-
I live on the same street as a mother of four young boys whose husband has just recently left her through no fault of her own. We got talking only last week as two of her oldest children attend same primary school as my kids. Before i had seen this thread I had done more or less what you have just spoke off. I raided my house for anything that was of no use to me, clothes,shoes, toys and food. Sat with her for a while and helped her to access some help with citizens advice, benefits etc . I’m going to do school run for her as she doesn’t drive and hopefully cross my fingers that things turn around for her.
Her partner was the sole provider and and controlled every aspect of anything financial in the household so she doesn’t have a clue about anything, she doesn’t even have her own bank account.
It’s a dreadful situation esp with the young children.

But returning back to the thread I feel what you have proposed is a very kind and humbling thing to do and most people have bits and bobs that they don’t need which in turn can mean a lot to anybody in need.

With Xmas around the corner I am willing to help out with whatever I can manage to give to any genuine persons hardship .......

I feel very humbled reading the full thread.

babylord you are not a failure! Not at all. We are totally skint atm and are seriously hoping our DD will get some 3-6 month baby grows for Christmas as she's outgrown all the ones we were bought as gifts when she was born!

Being financially tested is one of the worst feelings in the World. I understand what you mean about feeling like a failure but you're not one. The only thing kids need is your unconditional love. That's pretty much all mine has right now! That and pumped breast milk, because she won't latch but formula is too expensive so I'm pumping all day every day!

Just a thought for those in the same boat and dreading buying Christmas presents:

Biscuit recipe:
250g Butter
140g Caster Sugar
300g Plain Flour
1 Egg Yolk
Plain White Icing
Cost of ingredients: £5 or under.

This recipe makes 30 but you would have enough in your ingredients to double up if needed.

If you have a star shaped cutter or something else Christmassy then you can just do plain, or buy some Icing Sugar and food colouring to draw snow flakes, etc.

Card Factory sells selophane wrapping for fairly cheap, and ribbon too. Alternatively you could always look online for selophane bags and ribbon. Just top it off with a handmade tag to say Merry Christmas! I keep my Christmas cards from previous years to make tags. Or again, cheap ones from Card Factory!

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