To ask of times when you were really broke

[Dollardime]

We've had a really hard time financially the past 3 months. Bill after bill after bill.

My car has just failed it's MOT and needs £230 worth of work done it which we physically haven't got.

I feel really down and depressed today - please give me times of when you were broke and how it got better on the end to give me some hope 😞

One of the things that makes me sad is that I once got really cross at Dd for asking for something in the supermarket, she was about 3 and it was a punnent of strawberries.
I was cross with her for whining for stuff, but of course it was a perfectly fine healthy food, not a huge crap toy or similar.
I went home and cried.
Any fruit or veg she wants now she can have, seasons can bog off.
That's what poverty does to you, it makes you say no and be a not nice parent at times.
Similar situation when she she wanted a deeper, funner, bubblier bath, er no money for that.

Grew up poor, everything from jumble sales. Often hungry, always thin. Second hand uniforms with other kids' names in. Just one gas fire to heat the whole house (80s and 90s). Single parent family, mum disabled.
Only girl on our council estate to get a scholarship to a posh school. Hid how poor we were.
Made me fight really hard to make sure my little girl never has to struggle. Live comfortably now, happily married and so grateful every day for a full fridge, a car and central heating.

Right now!
I'm a carer and non driver. I had a lovely little round suitable for a walker. I went on maternity leave so they obviously had to give my round to someone else. I've been back to work since June and they obviously can't give me my round back, it's not mine anymore.
I get between 4 and 8 hours work a week, my husband works as much overtime as he can.
My family were depending on me passing my driving test today. I failed. I let them down and now I have to choose whether to pay the rent or buy food. Credit cards maxed out, husband gone over his overdraft and having his card declined. I can't even afford another driving test to help us.
I'm only hoping things get better soon, my family deserve better than me not being able to provide.
They say money can't buy happiness but this is pretty fucking shit!

Coastalcommand Wonderful post, especially the last line.

Had to give up my job when baby ds1 got cancer. He was in hospital for months. DH sold cars so if he didn't work he didn't earn any money. Couldn't pay the mortgage as it needed two incomes and nearly lost our home. Couldn't pay bills. Bad bad times. Thank goodness for charities.

I remember hiding in the cupboard because I couldn’t pay the milkman when he called. The following week my son told him we’d been hiding.

Many years ago when I was first married to my ex and had my daughter, he lost his job and we were so young and naive we didn't realise we could claim any benefits apart from his dole money (as it was called then) We didn't even know we could get our council rent reduced, so we struggled to pay everything from his unemployment benefit.
I remember buying a box of dried vegetables. Cooking them in oxo cubes and water and dropping dumplings into that, for our dinner.
That went on for a month until he got a job.

I lost out big time in the divorce but couldn't bear to involve police and he would have killed me if I'd pushed the financial stuff. At one point a couple of years ago, I was 55k in debt (on top of mortgage) and we lived off £6 a week for food. That was a very low time indeed.

When DH and I were first together (we've been together 17 years) we had no money at all and I was living off cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My boots also wore out, there was a massive hole in the sole and I had to staple some cardboard over it to make do until I had money for new boots.

Now, we are both comfortably off and those times are hopefully behind us as we're saving money all the time to make sure we never get in to that state again.

Things do get better.

2008, I was 10 weeks pregnant with my first DC. We had nothing, I had serious morning sickness which only eating helped but we had no food except a few frozen fries. Then remembered we had a freezer in the garage we hadn't looked in for a while and found a tray of frozen croissants and oh the delight.

Then in 2011 our second child was born and my husband was relocated to a job paying significantly less. I was so broke my friend from nearly 200 miles away posted me the spare cartons of baby milk she had so I could feed my baby.

Thankfully we're much better off now, don't have money to burn but have a better quality of living and I find myself over buying food these days so my 3 children will never have to know hunger. I found out recently that my favourite meal I had as a kid, pancakes with caster sugar which we always thought was an amazing treat, was because my mum could only afford milk, flour and eggs to feed us and my 3 siblings.

When DH and 1 first moved in together we had £30 a week for food and travel between us. I had £10 a week for a bus pass, he had £10 a week for petrol and we had £10 a week for food shopping and that was it for about a year or so. We mainly ate 8p beans on cheap bread. Now whilst we are in no way "loaded", we are fine. House is nearly paid off, we have a car each, some savings in the bank and we are a bit spoilt with things like Virgin Media full package. We get regular cinema trips and Frankie and Benny meals out with the kids etc. Life does get easier. I have told the £30 a week budget story to DD (now 18), as I think it's good to remember we can get buy in hard times and things do improve. Whilst we are ok now, I know things could always change. Good luck xxx

I worked two jobs one during the day as a carer then waking watch at nights with an agency. Never have I been so tired, I'd usually catch a few hours 3-6 if I was lucky. It was dangerous really being that tired and responsible for such vulnerable but I couldn't say no to the extra work. I had bailiffs at my house and couldn't pay for food

Vulnerable people that should say

Single parent with a mortgage at 15% for some years, worked full time and had precisely £15 a week for everything else once the bills were paid.
I had less money than my single parent friends on benefits. i had no friends as I worked full time and did shift work so I couldn't go out anywhere and had no money to go out.
I'm ok now, have a lovely home, a career and a wonderful family - no husband but who cares about that. My ex deserted and went to live abroad to avoid maintenance payments.

How difficult is your life without a car?

What cut backs can you make? Food shopping, cancelling subscriptions etc?

Is there anything you can sell straight away? Eg take a whole bunch of DVDs you don't watch down to CeX or similar.
Can you sell any old mobile phones that are gathering dust?
Try Facebook selling pages, sales are pretty quick.

It was a good while back now but when I first had DS I was a single parent living on income support. I had a council house, but it was a big 1970s-built concrete thing with an uninsulated flat roof, draughty single-glazed windows, one big space downstairs (lounge, dining room and kitchen all open) and no heating upstairs despite 3 bedrooms and a bathroom. Because of this it was pretty much impossible to heat it in the winter.

DS and I used to spend hours in the library (walkable) or at the local shopping centre (there was a free bus at the time as it hadn't been open long) just sitting and reading, or playing quietly, just cos it was warmer than being in our house.

When we got home I would make a "den" in the living room out of blankets, duvets and pillows, put the heating on for 20 minutes for hot water, bath him in the kitchen sink then we'd both snuggle in the "den" for the night.

Foodwise it was value beans on toast and cereal most days, or jacket potatoes. I'd make soup with cheap veg and bulk it out with pearl barley. Baked or mashed spuds, pasta bake made with ketchup rather than proper sauce, bolognese or stew once a week depending what cheap meat I could get.

We lived like that for the best part of 4 years. Not the best of times, but we did get through it. Once he was at school I was able to find work and it gradually got better from there.

These days there is always food in the cupboards here cos I too remember what it was like to not have any.

When I was 16, I had just left care. I was trying to go to school and do my GCSE's but the bus fare was expensive. I had £24 a week for everything. I would put £1 in the electric meter and watch it count down and flick it off when it got to .15p.

I used to shoplift food from Kwiksave because I was so hungry. I knew when all the local supermarkets threw out nearly due date foods and used to sneak round the back to the bins.

I'm ok now. I feel rich because I can pay for the weekly shop. DH and I aren't rich but oh well.

So lovely to read some of these stories as I'm living my 'poorest' now. DH and I bring in an average salary and were very lucky to still have a roof over our heads and food in the fridge for DCs. After my first maternity leave we really had to tighten out belts as we knew childcare would severely reduce out disposable income. Ds1 was a result of IVF and very much planned so we had savings to cover my 9 months leave. Ds2 was very much not planned (but adored) and I fell pregnant when DS1 was 9 month old meaning a second maternity leave very soon after the first (yes yes I know all about contraception but after 6 years and doctors telling you it won't happen you don't feel an immediate need to rush for a condom...)

We mounted up debts to get by and have had to move house twice (rented) and now have two children in childcare 3 days a week which swallows up 80% of my wage. Once we've paid priority bills and debt owed we have £45 for the month. We're currently working with Step Change to explore the possibility of an IVA last month our car broke down and needed £1800 worth of repairs. We sold it to the mechanic for £500 as it was as we just couldn't afford it. Heartbroken as I loved that car. My lovely DF lent us the other £300 so we could get something to get us yo work and back. But not sure how to pay him back and I'm ashamed to tell him the mess we're in.

I keep telling myself that it's only money and we have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies and have two children we never thought we would have. Reading these makes me realise this too shall pass.

This thread is sadly very relevant for me right now. We don't have enough money to pay bills & are having to let a few direct debits bounce Fortunately, there is enough food in the house & DH has started work again (only a 6-week contract though!) so we just have to survive until payday next Friday. Hate the thought of counting every penny & hoping the food we have can stretch for the fortnight.

yambabe
Our proper big treat meal, even better than takeaway which is what I told DD was a bag of £1 oven chips from Farmfoods, with a plate of all the different sauces we had, so ketchup, Brown sauce, mayo, mustard, mint sauce etc.
We still have it now sometimes.

The worst feeling in the world for me, despite living in my car for months, was when DD was about three months old. I squirreled her CB every month so that when the milk tokens ran out i had cash to buy formula. My ex robbed it & i had to beg a friend over the phone to send me £10 to be able to feed her. Made it to the asda just before it closed in absolute hysterics. Felt like such a shit mum that day

There was a time when I was single, in terrible debt, lived in a pokey bedsit and had £24 a week to live on after all my bills were paid - I was working full time.

Iceland was my saviour.
I lived on battered chicken portions, beans, cheap sausages, potato waffles, £1 pizzas and every Sunday I had an Iceland pie, frozen roasts and carrots.
To my shame, I would take loo roll from the office toilets and would stay late on a Friday and help myself to a few tea bags (about 8) to see me over the weekend. I'd also take the left over office milk on a Friday as it would be thrown away by the cleaners otherwise.

I never drank tea or coffee at home, just squash or water (I'd have hot squash in the morning and get in early to work as it saved my heating and I could have tea there - lots. I took a peanut butter sandwich to work for lunch and a cheap cup a soup. I had a treat in a Saturday night, a Mars Bar or simething.

I had a cat. I nearly rehomed her but couldn't face it so she lived on cheap cat food and I made my own litter using torn up newspaper from copies of the Metro and Evening Standard I'd collect every morning and evening.

It was a miserable, miserable, lonely time and it was only due to finally seeing I would never get out of the rut that I contacted CAP, they saved my life and my debt took 4 years to pay off instead if the 117 years it would have taken if I'd not eventually asked for help.

My heart is actually pounding at reading some of these and being transported back. We were dirt poor growing up. All cycled miles to school because parents couldn't afford bus fare. Got food parcels from a local charity. Second hand clothes, damp growing up the walls, no heating. No TV for a while because it just died one day and we couldn't even afford to rent one (remember when you could rent a TV?) Used to get in trouble at school for not having equipment or money for something because I wouldn't tell DM I needed it. I knew she couldn't afford it and I hated watching her try to scrape it together out of her purse.

Then I went to university, where it was clear I'd have to fend for myself. One year, I lost 4 stone weight while working two jobs to keep my bedsit. Would eat half-cooked dinners because the meter would run out and I didn't have 50p. Only got to go home to parents' house at christmas and summer because I couldn't afford it. The only thing of value my dad had, he sold. It was only worth about £100. Got hauled over the coals by a shitehawk of a bursar because my grant hadn't come in and he could not understand how my parents couldn't lend the fees to me.

Now, I earn 50k+, am mortgage free and bought my parents a house too. I'm still frugal and sometimes save maybe at the expense of living because I will do anything to avoid being that poor again. My kids have never known a day's want or financial insecurity.

I hope things start looking up for you soon, OP. I sympathise.

I once worked as an escort so we could pay bills.

I can’t bear to think about those times. It’s like it wasn’t me. I was raped too and I still just can’t get over it at times. Most of the time is is burrowed away somewhere and I don’t think of it.

But now 6 years on I am in a good place financially and although having our own business we have down times financially I know that I will never ever resort to that level again.

Yes right about now - never been so skint. On a temp contract, don’t get paid for holidays etc.
Dog has cost us £6k at the vets this month after an accident and while we will get it back from insurance it’s taking a while...
Christmas is coming and oh god I just can’t get into the spirit at all. I’ve bought one gift so far.