...to ask what your criteria for a life partner would be if you had to choose one now?

[NeverMetACakeIDidntLike]

(Tongue in cheek)

I met DH when I was 20. I chose him based on interests in common and his dashing good looks.

I’m now 37 and wish i’d discovered:

• that he didn’t sleep through the night until he was 5 (and he seems to have passed this onto our DD1)

• that he seems to take longer and longer to do a poo as he’s getting older and I seem to spend half my life waiting for him to get off the loo.

So... whilst ‘did you sleep well as a baby?’ and ‘are you likely to consider having a poo as one of your major hobbies later in life?’ are not good chat-up lines, I feel like I should have asked them before I committed...AIBU?

YANBU!

I feel you on the poo thing. at DP.

I found out about his awful snoring pretty early on and learned to live with it, it's almost calming now. Almost.

I wish I'd known about his other annoying habits before moving in with him though (not that they would have changed my mind) - hanging laundry in a meticulously annoying way and having a hissy fit whenever it gets knocked off the maiden, having absolutely no arrangement and just throwing things into the fridge willy nilly - pasta in the veg drawer, anyone? -

Money money money must be funny

Oops hadn't finished!

And the other one, which is SO annoying, asking if I want anything from downstairs when I'm busy and cant move, for example breastfeeding the baby in bed, going downstairs for about 20 minutes, then coming back without the item, AND THEN when I say 'erm, where's the yogurt?' he does this giant exhasperated sigh! Well you did ask if I wanted anything! He does trot off and get it though so he's a good'un really

Wish I'd checked whether he thought wiping crumbs off the counter is important.

Also that he could eat spaghetti quietly.

Oh and totally agree with the sleeping as a baby one, we haven't had an uninterrupted night in seven years [sobs]

@username - I definitely went for ‘funny’ over ‘money’...!

Never same here, but I wish we could be laughing all the way to the bank 😅

Do you know how to keep jam out of the butter?
Are you aware of how cupboard doors are closed?
Can you speak clearly, rather than mutter so people do not have to ask you to repeat what you said after EVERY FUCKING THING YOU SAY?!?!?!
Are you familiar with the truth?
Do you know how to lift the toaster and wipe for crumbs?
Do you have any ambition at all?

i might be slightly annoyed with dh this evening

Do you huff and puff whilst doing perfectly normal tasks such as washing up?

He's totally happy to do these jobs, never needs a prompt, just makes more noise about it than your local am dram player doing a death scene

I would have had him tested for that common disorder that sees to affect males - dishwasher blindness.

Love these! Think we should consider an education program for the younger generations. Don’t ‘just’ rely on love. There are other, equally as important factors... Do you want to spend your life with someone who can’t close cupboard doors?! Of course you don’t...

*seems, not sees

Whether he has smelly feet, and if he does whether he will do something about them!

That he would EITHER do some DIY or be prepared to call tradesmen to do things. Instead he likes to pop to point out things “we” need to do around the place.

Would love to have found someone that talked to me.

Did not realise that I would tire of always being the one making conversation.

And someone that takes pleasure in life and isn't self centred.

Oh - and more in the spirit of the thread - someone who Didn't wet the bed til they were 13 (passed on to our dc sadly)

Someone who flushes their wee
Someone with the same body clock as me - immaturely wake between 7-9 and naturally want to go to bed at 10-11. DP naturally wakes 10-11 and goes to bed anytime after midnight. It sounds like such a silly thing but if we want to do stuff together as a family it's always either and DS (earlier riser like me) waiting around for half the day for DP or DP getting up 'early' to suit us!

Someone who doesn't make SO MUCH NOISE doing the simplest of things like burping or opening a kitchen cupboard.
Someone who only knows how to decorate a house the same way his mother does (red, black, white and grey)

Be Tom Hardy.

Ooh, know how to use a door handle at night without rattling so much your partner wakes up thinking someone is storming the place!

This is a good outlet!

Also, can I confess here thst I have no idea who Tom Hardy is?!

YOU DON'T KNOW WHO TOM HARDY IS? ARE YOU SERIOUS, WOMAN?!!

Guess not then

Ok I'll Google. Best be life changing

This thread is funny. I found the perfect man once, handsome, intelligent, well dressed, good at dyi, could fix cars, etc. But he is gay. And I am a woman. 🙈

To not be as thoroughly irritating as the one I have shared my life, house and world with for the past 16 years.

I have no doubt that he would say the same about me... in a blindly loving and affectionate way, of course!

I met dh a bit later in life after an abusive relationship. I looked for culture and kindness. They have served me well.

The poo thing is an issue and the hair - I married a yeti who sheds like the dog. Snoring pisses me off because I'm a bit troubled in the sleep department. He can be proper fucking crabbit and impatient talk down to people, which drives me nuts. And he tells me to calm down when I'm going fucking postal and tries to avert me from my default scorched earth policy, which makes me even more irrationally radgy.
I want someone who agrees with me all the time but need someone who tells me to shut the fuck up and stop being an arse.

That said he's got the patience of a fucking saint and we've been through enormous amounts of crap and have a huge stuff going on with DD at the moment and sometimes we just sit in bed and eat chocolate and hold hands and don't speak because we just need to lean on one another (and fart and blame the dog because we're both very immature).

I think it helps that we were close friends for six years before we got together so I already loved him and I think that - this is after twenty years together - friendship is key.