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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

about birthday chocolates from DH?

117 replies

BendMeOver · 13/11/2017 12:26

It was my birthday yesterday.

We set a budget of about £30 for each other for birthdays.

For the last few years for birthdays and Xmas DH has bought me chocolates from a shop whose chocolate I don't actually like. I told him years ago I didn't like it but he still buys it me from there citing reasons like "I thought you'd like this filling", "It didn't look too dark" etc.

Yesterday I unwrapped a box of chocolates from this shop and he said he got them me because they were my favourite flavour. So, we ate them after tea and I told them I didn't really enjoy them because, as I've said lots of time before, I don't like this shop's chocolate.

He went mad. We had a big row. He said I was ungrateful. I

I really don't think I was U... was I?

I've told him repeatedly I really don't like the chocolate from this shop so I'm not going to feel bad when, once again, I don't like it and tell him so. The first time he got me them and I didn't enjoy them I told him nicely (i.e. I wasn't ungrateful) but now, actually, I am pretty ungrateful because every fucking year he wastes some of my birthday budget on a present he knows I won't fucking like.

Next time it's his birthday I might spend some of the budget on tampons just to teach him a lesson.

OP posts:
StormTreader · 13/11/2017 12:56

Take them, say "Oh. It's ok, I'll take them into work, theres a guy there that loves them so they wont go to waste."

Do not reward him by letting him eat the chocolates - if you dont get to eat chocolate you like on your birthday, then no-one does. The little dig about some OTHER guy getting the benefit if he "forgets" should give him a little extra push if you think its needed....

butterfly56 · 13/11/2017 12:59

I think he's buying the chocolates because he actually likes them!

RatRolyPoly · 13/11/2017 13:00

Buy him your favourite chocolates for his birthday.

Ttbb · 13/11/2017 13:01

Shall we take turns guessing where they are from? Winner gets a box of the world's most disgusting chocolates

RatRolyPoly · 13/11/2017 13:02

I reckon Hotel Chocolat.

NotCornflakes · 13/11/2017 13:03

Is it Hotel Chocolat? I don't like their chocolates either and I love chocolate.

MyKingdomForBrie · 13/11/2017 13:04

So he’s got you chocolate he knows you don’t like and then had a go at you on your birthday for being ‘ungrateful’ - gratitude surely should be reserved for someone doing a nice thing for you - did you ask him how he came to think that this was a nice thing?

He sounds like a prince among men..

Littlewoo · 13/11/2017 13:06

I was coming on to say Thorntons but see they've already been mentioned!
I recently took an elderly relative shopping to buy his neighbour a present. I tried to guide him away from the Thorntons but he was insisting they were the best and bought a massive box of them. I think he's remembering years ago when Thorntons were good, now they are absolutely horrible

bunbunny · 13/11/2017 13:07

ttbb so many chocolate companies now are changing their recipes to reduce the cocoa and increase the palm oil that you could try the next time that you get a box of thorntons, saying that they seem to have changed the recipe, they're nowhere near as nice as they used to be so next time to try something new? That way you won't hurt his feelings... If he tries to say they taste the same, just insist they really taste different to you Grin

Alternatively, you a friend could give you a different box of chocolates as a thank you or for some other reason - and you could be really effusive and say how much you like them, they're your new favourite chocs (assuming they are of course!) and explicitly point out that if he ever needs to get you chocs again, these are the ones you would like...

Good excuse to try a few different nice boxes of choc over the next few weeks before xmas to work out which ones you like - even just to find a 'holding' favourite before he can buy thorntons for this christmas! You can find a new favourite gently before easter/birthdays then!

CiderwithBuda · 13/11/2017 13:07

Don't eat them! Too late now I know but if he does it again just don't eat them. You really are sending mixed messages by eating the chocolates and THEN saying you don't like them.

Jaxhog · 13/11/2017 13:08

Give them back to him on his birthday. Tell him he must like them, since he keeps buying them for you.

If you eat them, you're giving him a mixed message. i.e. saying one thing, but doing another.

timeisnotaline · 13/11/2017 13:09

Buy him your favourite Chocs for
His birthday. This is definitely the thing to do .

lovealatte · 13/11/2017 13:10

My money is on hotel chocolat too. Although I love everything from there!

Hoppinggreen · 13/11/2017 13:11

Bloody hate Thornton's
In DH family when he was growing up they were a big deal and even now as far as his family are concerned it's not Xmas without them.
It's taken a long time but I've finally trained him out of buying them for me

KurriKurri · 13/11/2017 13:18

Buy him a Hershey Bar for Christmas - then he'll really know what getting nasty chocolate feels like.

Dustysparrow · 13/11/2017 13:18

Are they Thortons? Thorntons chocolates are bleurgh. The only thing that is good about them is the box (which I think is what seduces people into buying them) but the actual chocolate sucks. It tastes cheap and there are always loads in the selection that are horrible, like rock solid toffee or worse....strawberry chocolate ...(quietly throws up in corner). Hotel Chocolat is much nicer imho!

snowgirl1 · 13/11/2017 13:18

I've had a similar situation with my DH. On a quite a few occasions he's bought me Hotel Chocolat chocolate. First time I ate it politely, second or third time I politely commented it wasn't my favourite chocolate/didn't really enjoy it because their milk chocolate is too much like dark chocolate. At Easter he gave me a large Easter egg from them - I ate a tiny bit and then basically gave it to him and told him he may as well eat it as I don't like Hotel Chocolate chocolate and prefer cheap chocolate (but told him how touched I was he bought me any choccy egg at all let alone an expensive one). I wait with baited breath to see what Christmas brings!

QuitMoaning · 13/11/2017 13:20

I adore hotel chocolat and will be oddly sad if it is them.

I so also dislike Thornton’s but thought I was unique in that. Glad it is not just me.

CiderwithBuda · 13/11/2017 13:25

Glad it's not just me about Thorntons either. Or DS. MIL looks at me as if I have two heads if I say we don't like Thorntons.

Rachie1973 · 13/11/2017 13:26

Ewww Hotel Chocolat do some weird ass flavours trying to be 'Yoo Neek'. Half of them are vile.

HollyandBrambles · 13/11/2017 13:29

I don’t like Thornton’s or Hotel Chocolat! Plain old Cadbury’s for me, or Godiva, mmmm Godiva also misses point

I’d buy him a bloody boat load of the horrible chocolates for his birthday, or better still, a boat load of your favourites!

LazySusan11 · 13/11/2017 13:31

Rewrap them and give them to him for Christmas.

Bennygoak · 13/11/2017 13:35

I reckon Hotel Chocolat too. DH likes them, but I don't.

Justbookedasummmerholiday · 13/11/2017 13:35

My exh bought me a huge bar of Galaxy despite knowing I hate it. "I just thought you might like it"
Part of the reason we divorced because he never fucking listened to me.

Sounds like your dh has a loyalty card and is pocketing the saving!!

Ttbb · 13/11/2017 13:36

@bunbunny he's just too forgetful. He knows that I prefer proper chocolates but keeps buying things like thorntons or Lindt in the heat of the moment. It's mostly I thought of you in the supermarket but not long enough to buy flowers instead type of purchase. If he has actually planned ahead he usually buys soap or perfume or something else that won't make me fat. I know that he means it kindly so I just leave it, I can always buy myself chocolate that I actually like.

Surprised to find that people don't link hotel chocolat. I was going to suggest it (going off the weird flavours abd hatered of dark chocolate) but I though that it was universally loved by the British. Must agree though that their flavoured chocolates are horrible. Especially the 'dessert' range-might as well be thorntons.