To have expected a response by now

[Dancingfairy]

I was in a store shopping with my dd who has asd. As we were near the checkouts she had a melt down over something and knocked some gift cards off the shelf displayed by the till. I tried I help encourage her to pick them up but she wouldn't so I asked my son to help. As he was picking them up dd knocked some more onto the floor. At this point I was trying to hold her to stop her knocking any more off and decided it would be best to remove her from the shop before she does anything else. (She did not damage anything or break anything) I fully accept I could have picked them all up but at that moment the best thing seemed to be to remove her from the shop. As I was walking out and got outside I was chased by a security guard who was shouting at us. I was very shocked couldn't actually believe it. I tried to explain to him she has asd but he was having none of it and told me we were banned from the shop! I found this really extreme and it was also distressing for my dd who I removed from the shop to calm down so made her worse. I have since complained to the shop (this happened on the 30th of October) and have not received any response at all. I've chased it up 4 times and always get told the same thing, someone will contact me but it never happens. I feel it's very extreme to be banned from a shop over this and have never been banned from anywhere in my life. What more can I do as they won't respond to my complaint.

Social media is your friend. I would stop trying to contact the store and complain via twitter.

Her posts have been deleted by mnhq thank god!

X post. Dead easy to set up.

Yep
I joined a few years ago to complain to a store
Answered within 15 mins

I don't think people get the fear of taking their children out if they have kids with no health issues and no mobility issues themselves. I have so much anxiety about taking my twins out, using public transport etc, I worry about bugs as little twin has an illness that's exacerbated by any bug, I worry about being made to fold their buggy or leave it behind somewhere (which has happened) as I can't wrangle them both by myself...

Being panicked about taking your children outside is absolutely awful. Some people have no idea.

A quick advanced search shows they are a long time poster with kids of their own.

It’s worse that they aren’t a troll but a patent themselves.

OP - in answer to your question, I would think that you should have received a reply to at least one of the points of contact you've made since this incident.
I would contact the local store manager and if no success, the area store manager and then keep going, until you get the desired response.
With a number of chain stores offering autism friendly shopping periods, where things in the stores are quieter and staff are ready to help in a situation like you experienced, perhaps this would be a good opportunity to suggest to this store that you were in that they should train their staff to have a similar event in their store and train all staff for regular shopping times like that (all staff from the ground up and including security).

How lovely that,with one notable exception, this thread has been so supportive and helpful. I hope you get this resolved, OP. I think something like Twitter is the way to go.

Go back to the store. When the security guard refuses to let you in, demand loudly to see the manager.

As far as I am aware, a security guard cannot decide who is barred from a shop.

I’d also add, ASD or not, no parent who’s child has a meltdown should be treated badly. Even the best behaved little angels can turn in to little feekers at the most inopportune moment. I don’t believe the security guard should give a pass to the OP because DD has ASD, I believe the security guard should have given her a pass because she is a mum out shopping with two small children. To my mind, attitudes like “oh you only claim ASD as an excuse” are brought about because so many want to judge parents for every single mistake their children make. Anyone who has a child who has a tantrum in public is automatically a terrible parent based on that two minute snapshot people get into their lives. If we were nicer to all parents in public, things would be so much easier for those living with the daily struggles of raising a child with ASD.

OP I hope you are finding enough support for your situation. ❤️

Her first post is still there

Oh look. Another poster who thinks sarcasm and put downs are helpful! Oh dear. She’s not a ‘moaning mummy’. How bloody unpleasant.

You poor thing. I really feel for you.

I have a child with ASD who used to like to press random buttons at the checkout. They also liked to throw glass bottles in the isle as they enjoyed the sound!

I shopped in fear for many many years. Meltdowns are common, usually sensory overload.

It gets better OP. Relatively. We use ear defenders, only go to shops for 9am when it’s quiet. And only go to one shop, more is too much.

A friend of mine who has children with special needs once said ‘you can’t judge someone else until you have walked a goat around a supermarket, once you can manage that you can give advice’, it makes me giggle. It’s true, the unpredictability. The strange looks, their strength, the stress.

If you can, go and see the manager in person. They have misunderstood the situation and need to make amends.

Someone asked suggested that OP should have better things to do than complain about this.

I have a disability. And when you have a disability you end up letting a lot of things go - stupid comments, roadworks signs blocking the path forcing me into the road and extra stock in shops building up for Christmas being just three examples from this week alone in my case - I assume the same is true for the OP as the parent of a disabled child.

Sometimes you have to let bigger things go that you'd rather not too because you're just to exhausted or even ground down by the hassle and extra work that goes into being disabled and different from what society expects. And very occasionally I will lose it about one of those tiny things I'm conditioned to ignore usually (often because it's the 4th stupid comment in ten minutes and I only have so much patience)

But no one should have to let things go. And more importantly no one should ever be treated the way OP and her DD were and to suggest they she should leave it and worry about "better things" is appalling. The reason we have so many rights and facilities now for disabled people is because of those who fought and complained and pointed out when the law was broken in the past.

Big hugs OP. I hope you get the response you need and going out feels easier again.

As for the head office they will working through a backlog of trivial complaints like yours

You think you’ve summed up this situation and I bet you felt quite pleased with yourself after that sneery post. You sound smug and unpleasant. Just so you know

You should definitely try to find out why your complaint hasn't been responded to.

Even if they were going the whole hog and saying kids that start with tantrums (as the shops sees it) as a cover from shoplifting (this has happened in the Aldi, Lidl and Tesco near where I work in Dublin - which is better than actually trying to car jack someone coming out of Aldi but that is another story) they should at least respond.

Ask them on twitter,they'll be falling over themselves to reply

MiaEris,hope you feel better after your snarky comments..go and make a cup of tea dear

Defiantly Twitter OP. It's what the stores pay attention to and gets things done. Best of luck

I’m 100% on your side OP. I doubt you’re really banned, just some security guard thinking up his own punishment. Annoying to have to pick up gift cards maybe, but these things happen. It’s soul destroying when you’re doing your best with your kids and it goes wrong.

I shops online for years as taking young children to the shops isn't much fun. Is this an option?

I agree social media is your friend . You have tried to sort it out privately . I have a family member works in wilkos they are cutting down on customer service so not sure how much they care .