DS has a bully. No, not DS. DS's entire class has a bully. No SN just encouraged by parents to be a thug (I can explain further if needed). Mum is a teacher and friends with the school staff (small village). Half the class are having to go in and speak to the head about him choking, hitting, punching and snatching things off their kids on a regular basis.
Today was my turn to go and make a formal complaint. I can't take my DS coming home marked or bleeding with no explanation from the school anymore.
So here's a part of the conversation:
Me: My son is giving me an almost daily report on how "Bob" has hurt him that day. It's really getting beyond a joke. Obviously I ask "Did the teacher see?" "Did you tell the teacher?" "What did she say" and the reply is always, "Mum she just told me to stay away from Bob" This needs sorting! Last week he had four bleeding finger nail marks in his hand because he wouldn't give up something he had.
Head Teacher: Hmm. Well I think we need to address this. I think our first course of action should be to discourage discussing this every day. It's clearly being made an issue you bringing it up....
Me: (confused) Sorry? DS needs to stop telling me about him getting hit?
HT: Essentially, yes. it's probably better to talk about other things and allow him to volunteer information if he feels he really has to. Having a daily discussion is making this into a bigger thing.
Me: Sorry you're misunderstanding. I don't ASK my son, he tells me straight away. And my son isn't making it up for a story!
HT: At this age play can get rather rough between boys.....
Me: Running across a classroom and pummelling a child in the head so he needs an ice pack is not playing. This isn't mutual rough play! It's happening all the time and I KNOW teachers know about it cos my older two often get involved and go tell teachers for my son and his friends. Nothing's being done!!!
HT: I'll speak to the boys. It's likely the teacher is unaware. Ask your DS to let me know if things happen and we'll look into it.
At this point I pretty much had to leave, dragging my jaw on the floor.
So the solution to my son being bullied is to change the subject and stopping him from telling me?
I'm going to give it a few days and if nothing changes, what's my next step? I have been running the entire conversation through my head since 9am wondering how I have misunderstood or misheard but that was pretty much word for word what she said.
Could that be interpreted a different way?