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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend less than £50 per child at Christmas?

372 replies

hibbledobble · 08/11/2017 20:19

I read the thread where people were talking about spending as much as £1000 per child, and the average was in the 100s.

I can afford to spend a lot, but I don't see the need or the benefit in buying a lot. I plan on getting one large and one small present per child and maybe some chocolate. Things they will play with and cherish.

I don't buy into the consumerist culture surrounding Christmas, and I don't want to raise spoilt children.

Aibu?

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 09/11/2017 16:24

£50 is plenty.

x2boys · 09/11/2017 16:37

Yes i spoil my kids at Xmas so what ?we don't have loads of money my kids can't do expensive activities all year round as we cant really afford it if I want to spend a couple of hundred quid on each child i will its also my son's birthday on boxing day so he gets birthday presents as well judge awayHmm

AvoidingDM · 09/11/2017 16:37

I think £50 seems mean.
Then it also depends on other things, rich grandparents, aunties who spend £££, buying big ticket items for birthdays rather than Christmas. Or not seeing those things as gifts at all.
Lots of toys passed down from other children. Some people are happy to recycle / regift toys squirreled away from once child and gifted to another.

Age of children has a huge influence £50 on a baby would get a big toy and a few stocking fillers,
£50 on a 6 year old kid who's his heart set of a £55 Lego set ??? What are you going to do burst the budget or deal with tears of a disappointed 6 year old.

Incidentally heartbroken disappointed tears on Christmas morning is absolutely gutting for all concerned. Why anybody would deliberately do that to a child is beyond me (my LO thought his stocking by his bed was IT, Santa had left other things under the tree)

Mollieben · 09/11/2017 16:43

Each to their own. I grew up with lots of Xmas presents so that's what I do for my kids. We have never gone crazy at birthdays tho - just 1 present really.

Anatidae · 09/11/2017 16:48

Wow, who knew that not spending 100s is so controversial. According to some posters I am incredibly mean and my children will be so disappointed.

Mean? Hmm. It says to me that you feel that your kids need teaching some kind of lesson and that that, and your slight sanctimony about it, is more important than giving them a nice Xmas.

Do they need a lesson like that? If the mere presence of a pile of stuff is enough to spoil them, I suggest you’re not doing a fabulous job of raising non entitled kids anyway.

I grew up poor. I’m now not. We don’t do Facebook piles of presents, and the kids will grow up non spoiled and non entitled, but they will be getting Xmas pressies that are to bring them joy, not to stick to a specific budget to make me feel able to virtue signal.

LagunaBubbles · 09/11/2017 16:52

Buying each kid a thousand crimbo pressies to unwrap is a working class keeping up with the neighbours (school friends) facade

Yes thats it, thats exactly the reason I buy my children loads of presents at Christmas, I just so need to keep up with their school friends.....haha what a load of judgmental crap. I wonder about the minds of people that come out with stuff like this, to be so close minded they cant understand why people might be and think differently from them, and in the case of spending loads at Christmas...its a radical thought here now...maybe just because they can afford it and just want to?

x2boys · 09/11/2017 16:55

Well we are working class and live in a council house Hmm

Dieu · 09/11/2017 16:57

Well, I believe in spending as much as you can possibly afford on kids' Christmas presents. Enough tacky floor fillers to sink a ship. If you can't spoil them at that time of year, when can you justifiably do it?
It's about how you raise them the rest of the year that counts. Christmas is a free pass. Being miserly at Christmas teaches them nowt. Except probably how not to do it with their own kids.

Kentnurse2015 · 09/11/2017 17:00

We won't spend much on our two at all but they have gifts to open and a day with family. I have to work.

x2boys · 09/11/2017 17:02

Indeed Dieu I love Xmas morning in my working class home the more the merrier ds2 has autism and learningdisabilities his main interest is listening to music so we have got a big juke box hes going to bloody love itGrin

Dieu · 09/11/2017 17:03

x2boys Fucking brilliant! Bring on the tacky fun Grin

x2boys · 09/11/2017 17:05

DieuGrinGrin

x2boys · 09/11/2017 17:09

Oh and we also have a puppy she will also get a stocking Smile

Sallystyle · 09/11/2017 17:10

Your oldest is 7. That explains a lot.

Try spending £50 on teens and see what they get out of it. Not much. One Xbox game with £10 change if they are into gaming. Or a few decent items of clothes.

I would never spend that little on teens if I could afford more. I would never spend thousands if I could afford it.

If you want your children to be creative, independent, patient and smart, then give them fewer material things and less technology. Period.

Someone should tell my 10 year old technology loving daughter that. Funnily enough, she is super smart, doing amazingly well at school, very independent as well. She isn't very creative, but that's not down to her material possessions.

PandorasXbox · 09/11/2017 17:10

Same here 2boys. The dog even gets a Christmas dinner. How uncouth am I! Grin

Dieu · 09/11/2017 17:11

Oh, that's so frivolous. You working class scum, you Wink

PandorasXbox · 09/11/2017 17:12

I know. Common me.

ForalltheSaints · 09/11/2017 17:14

Perfectly reasonable if you are doing the same for all children.

LaurieMarlow · 09/11/2017 17:15

Spend what you like at Christmas, but don't judge others who want to spend a bit more.

What some people don't seem to get is that excess is a key aspect of the culture of Christmas. For many that involves the presents. For others the focus is more on the food and booze. But Christmas is an important corollary to the rest of the year, where you may have to scrimp and save and go without. Christmas is glorious because you don't have to do that.

I'm used to full on working class Christmases. They are bloody fantastic. My PIL on the other hand are very upper middle class. My first Christmas in their house was grim beyond belief. Cornflakes for breakfast, Church (fine), cheese (not even fancy cheese) for lunch, presents weren't opened until about 5pm and only because I agitated. We may as well not have bothered, they spent about 50p on each other anyway. No booze until dinner was served at 6. No TV until the evening.

It was an incredibly grim, boring day. I was so disappointed.

puffyisgood · 09/11/2017 17:20

YANNNNNBU.

excessive consumption is one of the great scourges of our time.

squoosh · 09/11/2017 17:21

Laurie I'm virtually stroking your hair for having endured such a stultifying Christmas day. What is Christmas Day without free flowing booze and good cheese?

LaurieMarlow · 09/11/2017 17:24

I know squoosh, I'm still not over it. In my parents house the bucks fizz is flowing from the moment we get up.

Never again. Grin

x2boys · 09/11/2017 17:28

Your common as muck just like me Pandora Grin

Loctite · 09/11/2017 17:28

I just don't get the mindset of not giving your children the best Christmas you can just out of principle.

Growing up we were not rich by any means and my parents always made sure we had a big pile of gifts and very often the small 'tat' was as much loved as the main event.

Dh did not grow up with this approach to Christmas, let's just say his parents attitude to most things was unconventional, that is perhaps the most polite way to phrase it.

In the early years with dd he simply couldn't see the point but then when he saw her reaction - he was won over and now he likes to do Christmas the same as me.

We LOVE creating a cosy, festive house with loads of nice food and drink and decorations and carols playing etc and friends / family calling. He had none of that. His parents didn't believe in any of it. I had christmas in his place once and it was dismal to say the least.

I want dd to have great memories looking back on her childhood

Katedotness1963 · 09/11/2017 17:41

I used to be the kid who hardly got any christmas presents while all the other kids at school used to get a nice big pile and have the latest popular toys. I fucking hated it and swore I would never do that to my children.
I've always done my best to get them a decent amount of presents, most importantly to get them the things they really wanted, so I don't really understand the mentality of giving them hardly anything on purpose.

This is me too. I have no happy childhood Christmas memories. I knew my parents didn't think we were worth spending money on because there was always money for drinking and smoking but no money for Christmas, Birthdays, holidays, kids clothes or shoes. I want my boys to look back on month long Christmas decorations, trips to Christmas markets, a fun filled Christmas stocking, a nice pile of presents under the tree, board game nights and little treats in the fridge.

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