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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend less than £50 per child at Christmas?

372 replies

hibbledobble · 08/11/2017 20:19

I read the thread where people were talking about spending as much as £1000 per child, and the average was in the 100s.

I can afford to spend a lot, but I don't see the need or the benefit in buying a lot. I plan on getting one large and one small present per child and maybe some chocolate. Things they will play with and cherish.

I don't buy into the consumerist culture surrounding Christmas, and I don't want to raise spoilt children.

Aibu?

OP posts:
randomer · 09/11/2017 10:13

I'm not smug and I've never gnawed on a turnip in my life. I don't like waste or greed. I feel sad that some people have nothing.

Gretia · 09/11/2017 10:13

Honestly I think £50 is mean if you can afford more, especially for little kids they enjoy unwrapping stuff- I wrap new pj's/socks/underwear etc too to fatten up the pile!

I think normal is £2-300 for under 5's and £3-400 for older ones, maybe more if the want something like a bike/piano/laptop etc.

I love xmas!🎅🎅🎅

WaxOnFeckOff · 09/11/2017 10:18

I feel sorry for people who have nothing too. That's why I give to charity and the food bank and gifting schemes through work. The implication that because I spent a lot on my DC means I don't care about other people is wrong again.

I was brought up in poverty, my parents tried their best to make christmas special without resorting to debt. I can afford to treat my children so I do. I don't love my parents less for not always having the things that I desired (as modest as those desires were) becasue I understood they were on a tight budget. If I thought they could have aforded to treat us more but chose not to out of mean-ness then I would have resented that.

QueenUnicorn · 09/11/2017 10:19

Agree with others I hate people using to word 'spoilt' to describe children.

Having said that I do also try and buy as little as possible for my 2 children because they get so much from others that it just takes over.
I don't look at money but at the amount of gifts. I try and get them 2 gifts each plus stocking fillers. (1 gift from us, 1 from Santa)

randomer · 09/11/2017 10:26

implication that because I spent a lot on my DC means I don't care about other people is wrong again. nobody said that

WaxOnFeckOff · 09/11/2017 10:30

Don't be so disingenious randomer

WaxOnFeckOff · 09/11/2017 10:31

disingenuous

Roomster101 · 09/11/2017 10:35

nobody said that

Hence the use of the word "implication" rather than "said".

Sunnysidegold · 09/11/2017 10:50

This is another row like the how much is your weekly shop one. I don't necessarily think that those children who have hundreds spent on them will be spoiled. To me spoiled is when a child doesn't appreciate what they have. If I bought the latest console for my kid he would love it and would appreciate it. He's not getting that as he is only 7 and it would be beyond our budget.

When my two were tiny one asked for a packet of skittles from Santa as he didn't get sweets too often and he was over the moon with something that cost a pound.

I'd say most people on here know their own kids and their own budget and I think we have to just agree to disagree about what's the "right" amount.

Sunnysidegold · 09/11/2017 10:51

Just to add, I will be buying 7 year old a present....just not an x box!

PandorasXbox · 09/11/2017 10:53

I doubt anyone likes waste or greed and I’m sure they don’t like people going without.

1DAD2KIDS · 09/11/2017 11:00

PREACH! Don't measure yourself against others or be guilted into the consumer trap. You love your kids, they love you, how much you spend at Christmas doesn't affect that.

MuddlingThroughLife · 09/11/2017 11:03

Thank you @juddyrockingcloggs and @lagunabubbles !

Merry Christmas to you 🎅😁

Anatidae · 09/11/2017 11:09

I wouldn’t spend thousands.

Neither would I deliberately spend so little that they felt left out, or spend a small amount to make a point.

Children are not spoiled just by presents. You can have a pile of present topped by a pony and still not have a child that’s spoiled.

You dont spoil kids with stuff. You spoil them by teaching them that stuff is more important than people.

randomer · 09/11/2017 11:58

Bleurgh it's all too weird

Original poster
hibbledobble · 09/11/2017 14:28

Wow, who knew that not spending 100s is so controversial. According to some posters I am incredibly mean and my children will be so disappointed.

I have got them each a nice large toy that they want, a small toy, and will get some chocolate.

Oldest is 7. I realise they get more expensive as they get older. I do get big ticket items eg musical instruments, bikes etc much cheaper second hand.

OP posts:
my2bundles · 09/11/2017 14:44

There's a difference between buying a 7 year old a musical instrument that they will have a play with and most likely discard after a month or do, and getting an instrument for an older child who takes music seriously and wants the instrument to last. My son is 10, very serious about his music and needs to needs to upgrade his instruments, he needs quality to withstand years of practise, if that's second hand or new I. Not paying cheap and end up with rubbish.

Roomster101 · 09/11/2017 15:12

Oldest is 7. I realise they get more expensive as they get older.

They will be ALOT more expensive as they get older unless you don't want them play musical instruments, have hobbies, do homework (they'll need a computer) or be contactable by phone when out or to have any clothes.

squoosh · 09/11/2017 15:16

Seems like being tight for the sake of being tight.

And the sake of being sanctimonious of course...

Strokethefurrywall · 09/11/2017 15:30

Yep, exactly what squoosh said, your OP was dripping in "sanctimommy"

Who gives a shit if you spend less than $50? Honestly? Does anyone in your real life circle have that much of an opinion on your spending habits that they'd comment? Jeez, have some courage of your convictions for crying out loud...

TwoKidsAndCounting · 09/11/2017 15:43

Buying each kid a thousand crimbo pressies to unwrap is a working class keeping up with the neighbours (school friends) facade

WhatwouldAryado · 09/11/2017 15:54

Christmas is pretty low key in my household as we're not really religious. Generally spend around £70 per child. Which is a lot to me. If they want anything pricey we encourage them to save / use birthday money etc.
But I couldn't give a shiny one about what other people do. The problem of consumerism isn't Christmas. It's so much more embedded in every day culture than a Christmas thing. Reducing spend for one day of the year doesn't change much Hmm

HamSandWitches · 09/11/2017 15:58

Buying each kid a thousand crimbo pressies to unwrap is a working class keeping up with the neighbours (school friends) facade

Not really, £300 on a primary age kid gets quite a bit so there could be a pile depending on what you get them, £300 on a teen might get them some trainers, clothes, makeup, a phone so not much of a pile.

WaxOnFeckOff · 09/11/2017 16:05

Buying each kid a thousand crimbo pressies to unwrap is a working class keeping up with the neighbours (school friends) facade

Judgy much?

I'm disappointed that you have children so that you can pass on that horrible attitude. And thinking of more than two? Who do you think you are, Kate Cambridge? Hmm

FixItUpChappie · 09/11/2017 16:21

I'm not judging people who spend a lot, but I do think it's unnecessary.

It's not about necessity, it's about FUN. Not everything has to be a life lesson.

YANBU to spend $50 - have at it, enjoy. Your kids won't suffer in the slightest. YABU to be so drab and boring and obviously judgy about it though. I love toys and gifts and a once a year right spoiling - my kids won't suffer from it either.