To ask you about living in a bigger home?

[BocolateChiscuits]

DH and I own a 3 bed house, we have a 1yr old DC, and I'm pregnant. We bought years ago, and the house was quite dated and neglected when we bought it, so over the years we've done a fair bit of work, and now have it how we like it.

Thing is the house is perfectly formed, but all the rooms are small. The 3rd bedroom is a box room, the kitchen is a little galley, it's just a stride from the sofa to the tv, and we quickly feel squished if we invite more than 2 people round.

Meanwhile our incomes have grown since we bought the place, we've built up equity, and could afford somewhere a bit bigger in the local area (which we love) . But it would be costly.

So I'm wondering, given that we don't really need somewhere bigger, is it really worth the cost? I have fond daydreams of DC having plenty of room for playing, and inviting family over for big meals. But maybe by saving money by staying put we could afford lovely days out and holidays or treat family to a big pub meal all together instead.

So I wanted to ask MNetters' experiences. If you have moved to bigger home has it made your lives happier or easier? Do you regret it, or are you pleased? Does it take a lot more time in terms of cleaning? (We have a rota for non day-to-day stuff, that takes us about 30mins each a week - so not bad.) How about maintenance?

(Disclaimer: I know we're very lucky to own a home and to be in a position to consider buying a bigger one. We're in the middle of a housing affordability crises in the UK, and lots of people are struggling. Apologies to those people for posting this thread. It's so "first world problems", I know, it is just something I'm really curious about.)

Personally I prefer a smaller home. I've just down sized, it's still a 3 bed house but the bedrooms are smaller and the living room is smaller. I like the cosy feel of the place that I didn't get with last house. In winter, I shut the curtains, get a blanket, put a movie on and snug with the DC. I rarely entertain though.

We saved hard and lived on beans before DC so we would have options once DC started arriving. We now have a small farm with a big house but were also considering a bigger, grander, older property with formal gardens etc.

When deciding, we thought very carefully about what we were prepared to compromise on and what we wanted to spend our spare time doing. We decided in the end that the older, grander house required a level of expenditure to enjoy living in it that would stretch us a bit too much. It would have meant little outside help so a lot of work to do at home, no foreign holidays, careful budgeting and a low level anxiety about DP’s job (I’m a SAHM) that in the end put us off. However amazing a childhood we’d be providing for the DC...

We’ve still got a big house and land, so still have more maintenance/ cleaning/ garden work/ fencing etc. than our previous 2 bed garden flat (!!) but we love it. We both like to keep busy and we can afford to pay for help for the things that might be a bit overwhelming otherwise - cleaner, gardener, builders as and when etc.

I hope this doesn’t sound like bragging - it isn’t meant to be. I guess my point is there’s always somewhere smarter, bigger, better located etc. ... the question is what can YOU afford and what sort of financial commitment/ outlay would YOU be happy with. Lots of our friends have a lot more debt than we do, but I guess they’ve got more risk appetite. We’d always rather be cautious and live within our means because for us, the worry would outweigh any pleasure in the house.

We moved " up" but i fell ill and husband is responsible for bigger mortgage. Also, he took a pay cut for a time. This is a fixer upper but now no money. Wish we had our old home.

Over the years have added a loft then an extension to ours rather than move. Was cheaper and less stressful than a move, added value to house and now have additional double bedroom and a nice big lounge diner where we had tiny lounge and galley kitchen before. Worth checking possible designs of what your place could look like (can turn out bigger than you think) and costing it up to compare with cost of a move. See if neighbours have had any work done and will let you view theirs. Good luck.

MyKingdomForBrie why don't you feel Safe?

Slightly different for us as we have 4 Dc but moved from a 3 to a 5 bed house when youngest was born. We got a good deal and can comfortably afford it with just dh wage. I love the added space downstairs the playroom/study has grown with Dc and teens now have their own chill out space for them and mates. Yes cleaning takes longer but there's also more rooms to decorate (which I love) As long as you are not overstretched financially I can't see why you would regret more space.

How much you crave the extra space, which is a luxury? If you can afford it and don't mind the extra care it requires (such as cleaning, maintenance, larger mortgage, heating, etc), then great, go for it.

I did the opposite - I downsized and while my pretty little house with pocket-handkerchief garden is easy to heat and maintain, I'll probably always hanker after a bit more space.

Watch The Minimalists on Netflix. It bangs on a bit and is US-centric but there are some really good points and interesting case studies of people (admittedly mostly without kids) who have chosen a different route. One of the most interesting comments was that people tend to use the size of the mortgage they can get rather than the house they actually need as a starting point. Another point was that maybe your house isn't too small- you just have too much stuff.

It does depend on lifestyle though. We tend to go out with friends rather than entertain at home and we are also out and about a lot at weekends with the DC. I also have close to zero interest in interior design or gardening (a nice walled garden with some tubs/ raised beds is about my limit- no lawn please). We could go bigger but it's all money I could spend on something else.

id Also go bigger if you can afford it. Two kids in a small house is doable, but having extra space can be fabulous, and not just when any of you wish to socialise. I’d go view some houses that are within your budget and get a feel for what’s available and then decide.

Im not sure I buy into the small house so your family is all close together and it’s all just a lovely, happy bonding thing. In my experience it can lead to arguments if you’re cramped, however I wouldn’t describe my family as particularly Disney

Estate agents would welcome you with open arms. Larger houses are more difficult to sell and it's a buyer's market, what with Brexit uncertainty.

Would recommend looking very carefully at what you can afford. We upsized last year to a big 4 bed out in the sticks. Hubby was working offshore at the time so everything was affordable. Just after we moved he was suddenly and unexpectedly made redundant, just after we found out we were expecting dd.
I absolutely adore our home. It has so much space and ticked every box we had. It also feels like a huge mill stone around our necks. Our mortgage is huge. The extra costs mean we have absolutely no disposable income for anything at all. I spend every month doing an incredibly anxious juggling act to make sure we can pay all our bills plus childcare fees. I'm back to work but wages haven't evened out yet. I know I need all of my part time and dh full time wages just to keep our heads above water. We have even started talking about whether we need to sell up and down size again. The problem will be finding something suitable in the right location as ds is now in a good achool and elderly pil have moved local to us. I feel stuck where we are.
This all sounds very negative. I don't mean to be. I just give lots of caution to be very aware of what you can afford. If you weigh everything up and decide you can afford it then you absolutely should. For all the problems we now have I love the eztra space we have.

I am in a 3 bed semi and would love to upsize and have the luxury of more space. We have a small mortgage and so could afford to extend out the back. My DH grew up in a house exactly the same size and says it's fine and likes the luxury of having no financial worries now and in the future. He wants to retire at a younger age and have savings to enjoy old age. I see his point and our house is fine for day to day living and we have no money worries but I dream of hosting parties and having more space, I think this would make my life happier, but he makes it sound like I am greedy and he doesn't want to work for many more years to pay for something that isn't essential. I grew up in a big house and a lot of my friends have big houses, maybe I should be grateful for what I have? A girl's gotta dream, right?!

We moved from a 2 bed flat to a 3 bed house and love the house. No regrets at all.

Then we filled it with children so all the lovely space just ebbed away... and we have a cleaner for 2hrs a week.