To ask you about living in a bigger home?

[BocolateChiscuits]

DH and I own a 3 bed house, we have a 1yr old DC, and I'm pregnant. We bought years ago, and the house was quite dated and neglected when we bought it, so over the years we've done a fair bit of work, and now have it how we like it.

Thing is the house is perfectly formed, but all the rooms are small. The 3rd bedroom is a box room, the kitchen is a little galley, it's just a stride from the sofa to the tv, and we quickly feel squished if we invite more than 2 people round.

Meanwhile our incomes have grown since we bought the place, we've built up equity, and could afford somewhere a bit bigger in the local area (which we love) . But it would be costly.

So I'm wondering, given that we don't really need somewhere bigger, is it really worth the cost? I have fond daydreams of DC having plenty of room for playing, and inviting family over for big meals. But maybe by saving money by staying put we could afford lovely days out and holidays or treat family to a big pub meal all together instead.

So I wanted to ask MNetters' experiences. If you have moved to bigger home has it made your lives happier or easier? Do you regret it, or are you pleased? Does it take a lot more time in terms of cleaning? (We have a rota for non day-to-day stuff, that takes us about 30mins each a week - so not bad.) How about maintenance?

(Disclaimer: I know we're very lucky to own a home and to be in a position to consider buying a bigger one. We're in the middle of a housing affordability crises in the UK, and lots of people are struggling. Apologies to those people for posting this thread. It's so "first world problems", I know, it is just something I'm really curious about.)

I often ask myself he same question op

We love our little house. It's a 3 bed ex council house and we don't quite know what we'd do with more rooms. The 4 of us like being companionable in the same room, the kids have their own rooms but dd2 particularly won't play in hers, she likes to be wherever we are.

Having said that, our rooms are bigger than a lot of 3 bed houses I've been into (although the 3rd bedroom is a small boxroom), so if your rooms are tiny then it might be worth it to have more space in each room. It depends how much you would use the extra space (we would just end up filling the extra space with more junk)

We’d rented smaller places than we could afford deliberately to buy a bigger house to do up. (5 beds) and I absolutely love the space we have now! Having guests is far easier and more fun, the playroom saves my sanity as fewer toys everywhere.
However it needs a lot more money spending on it to keep it up because of that extra size and because of the size and having children it’s harder to do things like decorating over a weekend. I think it’s worth it though

We had 3 kids in a very small 2 bed flat above DH's business premises for 2 years, and it was so hard going. We saved like mad to buy the large 4 bed detached we now have lived in for 20 years, and it felt like moving to a mansion at the time. We used the dining room as the kids playroom for several years, have a massive lounge and a conservatory so lots of space for entertaining and a big garden.....we have all the family here for birthdays/christmas/family parties. The kids all had their own rooms and it's been a wonderful family home. We've got 3 bathrooms which slightly does my head in for cleaning but I've never once regretted it.

When we were in your position (expecting 2nd child, 3 bed terrace with toddler in box room and 2nd bedroom as study / spare room), we knew we would want to move "eventually" but thought it was going to be complicated. We worked out roughly what we thought our budget could be, and what our basic requirements and preferences were. We thought we'd start looking properly perhaps 6-12 months down the line.

Out for a walk close to due date, we noticed a "for sale" sign on a favourite road. It was on just at the top of our budget. We actually offered on it when my youngest was already a week overdue! (needless to say we didn't rush to completion)

I'd say yes you will be glad of the extra space "eventually", but no need to go hunting for it on top of everything else at this point. But if you've identified your priorities then if you stumble upon something interesting you are ready to think about it.

Don’t feel guilty about your post, please move somewhere bigger and then that gives somebody like me a chance of buying a more affordable, smaller house (fingers crossed!)

We just did a reverse move. Moved into a much much more expensive area (outside of London to central London). Used to have a 4 bed semi with large extension, and had to downsize to a 3 bed terrace, and actually our current house is about twice as expensive as our old house.
I had real apprehensions about downsizing (2 small DDs), but to be honest I haven’t felt squeezed at all. In fact our old house was too big, and areas of the house were almost never used. I guess it also helps that we have moved to London which is where I really want to move to.
I guess what I want to say is, if you have enough space, why not use the extra money to enjoy life and do more of the things you love. Of course if you can afford to do both that’s great, but if you have to choose, to do things and enjoy life will bring you much more joy in the long term. I think there was a research about how people very quickly get used to a bigger house. And that’s so true too from my experience, because we moved from a tiny 2 bed flat to that big 4 bed house. It felt enormous to start with but within a month it just felt normal.

Hope you make the right decision for you whichever it is OP

We have a 4 bed for 2 adults and two dogs. It is bigger than we need but it’s bliss. It was in our price range, ticked all the boxes and had an amazing kitchen (which is the most important thing for me). The only downside is the cleaning, however we have two rooms that aren’t used regularly so they don’t get cleaned that often, but having more toilets than people is definitely time consuming!

We are in the position of never owning but are planning to get a mortgage soon. Two bed or three bed? DD1 would love a 3 bed as her and DD2 share a small bedroom in the flat we are in now. DD2 would love a garden more.

We live in a crazily expensive town so probably won't be able to afford either a 3rd bedroom or a garden but considering the girls may well be moved out in a few years I don't really see the point of another bedroom if it means we can't do stuff together. Plus it would mean more cleaning.

On the other hand, I do love my own space having grown up in a humongous, albeit very run down, house and miss it.

We moved to a bigger house and almost doubled our mortgage. We figured we could just about afford it and I LOVE our house. Seven years on, I still feel happy pulling into the driveway. BUT. We've been so much poorer. Council tax doubled, utility bills were higher as we were now detached so more heating. We struggle when things go wrong - we need to replace all our windows - some leak and we can't afford to do it. And the car just gave up on us. If we had stayed in our old house, we'd have been flush. So think about the lifestyle you want and factor in all those hidden extra costs - more rooms, more furniture etc etc. On balance, I'm probably still glad we did it, but every penny is a prisoner now.

We're currently renting a reasonably sized 3 bed with just us here most of the time and 5 year old DSD here every other weekend. It's a great size for the most part but we're now buying a 4 bedroom and I'm really looking forward to the extra downstairs space. It also gives us lots of room to grow into for when (if) we expand our family.

I agree with what others have said about downstairs space meaning more than bedrooms when the DC are young. I'm really looking forward to DSD actually being able to spread her toys out rather than having a one out one in policy we currently have to due to a small living room.

We looked at moving (2 bed to a 3/4 bed) but hated everything we saw (we actually love our house) so rather than spend money on moving fees we are now in the middle of a loft conversion!
We’ll have a new large double bedroom with ensuite, meaning we will then have 3 double bedrooms, one with ensuite, plus family bathroom!

I suspect I'm going to be the only one saying the opposite–But reading your post I'd still say move!! Just consider the bits below..

We basically had what you have a simple life, small home, low overheads and 2 DC's it was a bit tight and cramped and then we got some money, inherited, saved and moved to a large 4 bed, huge gardens (land) the works, outside space countryside, most peoples dream home, but in order to get it we moved slightly away from the old location.

We are selling ATM its almost broken our marriage, my husband literally from the day we moved in did DIY, gardening, I did housework, we got all a bit disjointed and lost our way. We lost touch with friends who still live in our old village..even though it's only 15 minutes away.

I literally crave a small cottage, small house, going back to a simple garden, simple life and having spare money instead of the bottomless pit we have now.

All I would say is that we took on more than we could manage and didn't consider the time that a large house needs, we did renovate as well.

You know even the most basic things we lost, we don't walk the dogs as a family as they have land to walk on.. so we lost all those little things that connect the family.

I think someone will come here and literally LOVE this place, but it's not for me, I grew up in a small home and i never realised until i moved here how much I miss it..

Oh and everyone comes to us, always, always parties, catering, family come, which is exhausting.. but it means I never get to escape as ours is the bigger house we always host.

We moved from a tiny two up two down to a 3 double bed, 2 upstairs bathroom terrace. And it's by far the best thing we did. I used to feel as tho I needed to leave the house the moment I woke up as I felt quite claustrophobic, and now we sometimes don't leave the house all weekend! Having space is a real luxury. If you can afford it - go for it and don't feel guilty!

We have a larger house and love it - we've got three reception rooms plus a conservatory style room and four double bedrooms, it's great.
It's worth the extra cleaning.

We have a big 7 bed house. 19 rooms .There are 7 of us. Costs a bomb to heat and run, but it's bloody amazing!

Such an interesting question. I would always say go for the space if you possibly can.

I'm at a different stage in life, and this year was the one in which we decided to downsize, buying smaller/cheaper and putting money made to allow for earlier retirement. Ha! That did not happen. We have been very fortunate to always have enough space, and even luckier to always one floor which could be dedicated to DH's WFH and hobbies. We set out to find our small, compact, one level 'last' purchase, and much as we tried, we could not do it. In the end we bought at least as much space as we sold, but it will be worth it. We have both become really used to the privacy and freedom space provides. DH can watch football/play guitar or whatever, while I have my radio on or music blasting - nobody gets in the way.

Nothing going towards retirement funding except peace of mind for the future. That is worth a fortune to us both.

Do it, you only live once. Would be lovely to have more room.
I live in a 4 bed semi the 4th bedroom is a box room. I've just had my 2nd baby early this year and feel like I'm been squeezed out of my house. Toys Toys Toys I'd love a bigger house with a play room so I could just shut all the kids crap in. It would be nice to have a big hoilday with the money,but you spend a lot of time in your home.
If I could afford a bigger house now I'd jump at the chance.

I've lived both sides of the coin: both in average sized homes and once lived in massive house with five bedrooms and three bathrooms. I don't miss it other than the vast kitchen. Also stay two weeks per year at MiL's enormous house (who moans frequently about the cost and the hassle). My verdict: it's nice having the extra space to spread out, particularly if you have a large family, in but IMHO it's not worth the extra cost and maintenance. One of the joys of living in a smaller or average sized house is that you are literally closer as a family and you don't spend ages walking from one end of your mansion to another. No wonder the upper classes are generally slimmer.

We're on our 4th owned house and have rented multiple properties inbetween each sale/purchase and have more or less upgraded in size and mortgage each time.

We started off in a 3 bed end terrace (no kids) followed by a small 4 bed detached new build (DC1's arrival ) followed by a large 4 bed detached new build (DC2's arrival) and currently in a large 5 bed detached 1970's house which we have completely renovated and extended with a one acre garden. These have been in different parts of the country (not London) and we have always taken the decision not to stretch ourselves too much mortgage wise. We love our house and don't want to move.

In fact, whilst the DC were young, we've been frugal regarding general expenditure and prioritised paying down the mortgage (with an eye on the next move/house). It's only the present house which has been a money pit/labour of love and even then, I've reined myself in. We've technically paid off our mortgage (late forties here) and have only recently allowed ourselves to splurge more on holidays, etc. You can be frugal more easily while the DC are still young - they seem to get more expensive at school age when activities start and even more so at secondary school age with gadgets, etc. I would make the move now.

We've just moved from a 2.5 bed London flat (third bedroom was tiny) to a three-bed semi detached terrace (also in London). We've been really careful to not sending our expenditure soaring because we didn't want to compromise on our current lifestyle (fortunately we had a lot of equity in flat) and this is as big as we need (me, DH, one DC). I think if your house feels like the right fit for you at the moment, don't worry about moving yet. You'll know when it's got too small.

A playroom with toddlers is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Hmmm.... we were in a similar situation (1 toddler and pregnant) and we moved from a 4 bed but only 2 downstairs rooms house (3 storey terrace) to a 4 bed but 5 reception detached 2 years ago. Space is fab but

• Garden is way too big for us. Takes 5 hours to mow, no time or energy with 2 young dc, but cant afford a gardener
• all maintenance is more costly eg tree pruning quote £500, new driveway quote £7k, roof work etc (so we dont get much done!)
• bills and hidden costs eg furniture, decorating, curtains etc all cost more.
• as others have said, cleaning takes ages so and its messy so it doesnt look like the dream home it could.

We do have enough money to still have treats, but think dp misses the disposable income. I also worry about job security more now and interest rates etc.

On balance I'm glad we did it but not a straightforward list of positives you might think

We rent so not exactly the same but it’s very stable rented accommodation, we toyed at one point with having to move to a three bed (we have two boys aged 8 and 3) but actually when factoring in the extra costs of running it and increased rent we are planning to buy a cabin (ll permission etc) insulate it and make it into a spare bedroom/play room. Kids are very excited and it will be designated sleeping area for sleep overs, we have a big enough garden for it to though to leave space for a small pond play area grass some decking and bbq though so I suppose this wouldn’t work if you had a small garden. My dh can build to so we are saving money to this way.