To ask you about living in a bigger home?

[BocolateChiscuits]

DH and I own a 3 bed house, we have a 1yr old DC, and I'm pregnant. We bought years ago, and the house was quite dated and neglected when we bought it, so over the years we've done a fair bit of work, and now have it how we like it.

Thing is the house is perfectly formed, but all the rooms are small. The 3rd bedroom is a box room, the kitchen is a little galley, it's just a stride from the sofa to the tv, and we quickly feel squished if we invite more than 2 people round.

Meanwhile our incomes have grown since we bought the place, we've built up equity, and could afford somewhere a bit bigger in the local area (which we love) . But it would be costly.

So I'm wondering, given that we don't really need somewhere bigger, is it really worth the cost? I have fond daydreams of DC having plenty of room for playing, and inviting family over for big meals. But maybe by saving money by staying put we could afford lovely days out and holidays or treat family to a big pub meal all together instead.

So I wanted to ask MNetters' experiences. If you have moved to bigger home has it made your lives happier or easier? Do you regret it, or are you pleased? Does it take a lot more time in terms of cleaning? (We have a rota for non day-to-day stuff, that takes us about 30mins each a week - so not bad.) How about maintenance?

(Disclaimer: I know we're very lucky to own a home and to be in a position to consider buying a bigger one. We're in the middle of a housing affordability crises in the UK, and lots of people are struggling. Apologies to those people for posting this thread. It's so "first world problems", I know, it is just something I'm really curious about.)

It's not just the size of house but the distribution of space and the flow.

We've just bought our first house. It was firmly in the middle size wise.of those we looked at, but the spaces make sense for us - it had substantially the biggest kitchen, for example. Although the bedrooms are smaller, they're big enough for all the standard furniture, and we wanted better living space. The downstairs arrangements are great, and although we plan to move in 5-10 years once we've had children and they've grown up a bit, the layout.gives us options for playroom space, living, dining for many years to come (especially if the economy tanks again and we get stuck).

Glad we moved to a 4 bed but now worried about bigger mortgage. But the extra space and bigger garden are amazing

We live in a 7 bed Victorian house. Its the things you don't think of that really add up. When we brought it we obviously budgeted for council tax, heating & increased mortgage etc.

Some examples; the guttering cost us a fortune to clear as some of its 3 stories high! Same with windows.
Decorating wise everything is on a bigger scale. We needed scaffolding to paint one landing as the ceiling was double height. Used to be able to paint a room in a day, no chance now!
Big windows need custom made curtains, no ready made will fit. some of our old furniture and pictures looked lost in rooms. When we eventually need a new kitchen it will cost significant more as the room is so much bigger etc.

But, it's a house we can grow in. The DC's have their own floor so that will be great if they're still living here at 25!! Takes a bit longer to clean but it is tidier as everything has its own place. No one's stepping over each other and we all have space. I
If you can afford it and aren't stretched, I say go for it!!

Well of course it’s nicer to live in a bigger house but some posters have sensibly recommended caution.

Council tax costs more. Heating costs more. A bigger mortgage adds stress.

I moved from a small 3 bed semi to a detached 4 bed when I was in my early thirties, and single. I moved because I could afford a bigger house and my career was flying, plus I thought “more space = good”.

It turned out to be not a great decision. I had a career wobble and had to manage on a lower salary for 2 years whilst I sorted things out. I couldn’t afford to go out as much, I couldn’t afford as many clothes as I wanted. If I’d stayed put I’d have had a lower mortgage, lower bills and lower council tax.

So think hard about whether the cost of a bigger house is worth it. If it eats your money and you can’t afford to do other things, is it worth it?

Sorry to sound like a spoilsport, but I don’t think that the posters saying, “well OF COURSE you should get a bigger house, I can dance around the kitchen and seat 15 for dinner” have quite understood the question.

Apologies for my grammar in previous post, trying to do dinner at the same time!

Thecats makes a good point about space and flow. We used to live in a 4 bed terrace. Yes it was bigger than our parents 3 bed semi detached in terms of square footage, but it was narrow and dark. Theirs appears and feels lighter and roomier.
Size isn't everything

I also will add there is nothing worse than severe financial stress it erodes your marriage, peace of mind and well being. If there is any question that you will find it difficult if your income as affected - and you haven't got generous and willing safety nets I would revisit the discussion in a few years when you can comfortably afford it.
Also would add that whatever house you live in there is always something better...it is never ending

As - is

We are in a similar situation to you and have decided to stay where we are, we decided against the increase in mortgage to allow ourselves a bit of leeway should we need it.

I enjoy the financial space better than the physical space.

We live in a tiny two bed apartment with two little kids, and we just hosted a halloween party with 10 adults and 11 kids. adults sitting in our little kitchen, two dinner sittings so the kids ate first and then ran off to play, it was fab! Space is what you make of it, you don’t need a mansion to have a dinner party, just good friends who don’t mind informal eating.

When relatives come to stay, we can pay for a little flat above is that is a b&b, but so far they have all paid themselves and wouldn’t hear of us paying as they valued not having to wake up at the crack of dawn with little kids and having their own kitchen. We worked out even if someone came every month for a week, it would still be cheaper this way.

We are now mortgage free, saving up money and using it on holidays, days out, and just having a little nest egg again. I am a SAHM so you can see that if you live in a small enough place that meets your needs, it actually allows you to save money and do stuff you like. Obviously if money were no object, I’d love a bigger house though!!

I grew up in a massive house which was full of crap, there was hardly room to move and things fell on top of me all the time. I spent my childhood stubbing on my toe on things. Everything was falling apart and it was freezing cold.

I now live in a small 2 bed terrace and there is so much more space. We have lots and lots of storage and everything is well-organised and easy to find. Bills are minimal. Cleaning is minimal. The house is lovely and warm.

I prefer living how I live now.

We have rented and owned a variety of different sized homes, we move with DH's job every couple of years. I like the sense of space with larger homes and being able to have a proper space for everything. We have just done a downsize to a four bed, 3 bath house with walk in closets and I think this is a good comprise size. Not so big that that the time to clean and tidy is silly, or expensive if paying cleaners but not so small you are tripping over each other. In big houses bills are more and there is often something that needs repaired. Also we struggle not just to fill our space with tat, so a smaller house prevents us having too much stuff. The DC are finding their smaller rooms easier to keep tidy and they and DH have to share the basement room so both groups make more effort to keep it tidy. I do miss having a craft room though.

I actually see the financial considerations from the other side.

I’d sort of like to stick to our small mortgage and enjoy the lifestyle perks of all that free income. BUT I worry about our retirement and actually we probably are better having a bigger mortgage and then being able to downsize in retirement.

If your dc grow tall, you might find it very cramped. But that’s not yet obviously. If they have long-legged pals round, ditto.

splendide I share this worry, I would love to try and sell our house in the UK and not have the stress of it, renting it etc, but I am concerned that would be short term gain and I lose out in the long term.

We could have paid off our three bed semi but chose to move to a four bed with extra reception rooms. It was a move made for the long term though and we will be investing lots in house.

Since having DC I can't imagine where everything would have gone in the old house (as much as I still miss it as our first home) but you just seem to accumulate stuff to fill the new space...

I should add that we are 'lucky' to live where housing is cheap so still a mortgage lots less than friends in more desirable areas. I wouldn't have wanted to massively increase our debt.

Live in a big house while kids are young so they - and you - can enjoy friends, parties and space to be together and apart. Then when they leave home, move into a smaller place and get rid of all the crap you've accumulated over the years. That's what we've done and it's worked really well.

I'm so glad we moved to a detached
We have a decent sized rear garden and off road parking for 2 cars
The kids have their own playroom/study
Decent sized bedrooms (4 bed converted to a 3 bed)
Conservatory
It's great

We moved to a lovely Georgian 5 bed from a 3 bed victorian terrace.

The mortgage was only £100 more than rent.

BUT

On moving in, we knew council tax band was one rate above and had budgeted for that, but then had a letter saying they had looked at pics online and are putting it up again as house had been updated in last 20 years! Bastards.

Water bill doubled as they assume house is full so we got a water meter fitted asap.

Car insurance increased.

Every repair or redecoration is more expensive as on a larger scale.

Whilst we love our home we have to budget much more carefully now.

We moved last year, our new house has 2x the square footage as our old house (but cost 2x as much IYSWIM so was proportionate). I love it- but it's expensive to heat, takes ages to clean (in fact, I cannot do a full clean in a day now) and all maintenance costs a lot more. We also spend more time doing it, so weekends are largely taken up with jobs on at least one day. The garden and driveway are massive. We need our heating flushed and it will be expensive as we have 22 radiators.....yes its first world problems, but that's just the way it is. I don't moan about it. I think people think if you live in a big house you're very wealthy, but actually we are pretty strapped at the moment and have to budget carefully, plus need a bigger savings pot should anything go wrong with the house or dh's job.

Positives though- the kids love it. They can run about, they have space. We are so looking forward to Christmas here this year.

Good point re flow of house. My old house was 3 storey Victorian semi so big rooms with high ceilings but rooms led off each other meaning you couldn't shut away any mess/clutter. Also was dark and thin. New house is on 2 floors and much more practical, room doors can be shut hiding kids toys!

we moved from a house exactly like yours and we moved to nearly double the size house and its brilliant. i feel much more positive and less hemmed in.

dh has a double garage, 2-4 at a shuffle parking spaces, large kitchen and an office with gym equipment that he loves.

i get 3 ensuites, a playroom for the kids, a proper sized guest room and i got a utility too.

honestly, its a breath of fresh air!

but... its a bit scary having double the mortgage repayments each month when i stop and think about it. however, we've cut our cloth accordingly: we are keeping our old banger cars, wont be going on sunny beach holidays as often and are overpaying mortgage each month via direct debit.

having space and comfort is a priority for us rather than celine/mulberry bags and a rangerover or bmw as a company car!

If you do move house, buy critical illness cover for the reasons a PP mentioned.

We moved from a 3 bed to a 5 bed to a 6 bed. Our mortgage is 3x what it was 6 years ago and we rely on DHs income to cover it. However if anything went wrong illness wise, we’d lose the house! DH owns his business so it’s unlikely he would ever lose his job, but if he became ill (as his DM did at his age) we’d be screwed. So we pay £190 a month for life insurance and critical illness cover for peace of mind. We factored it into our mortgage budget.

On the plus side it means we all have a double bedroom now (4 kids), and 3 of us have en suite bathrooms. We also have a large space on the top floor which we use as an office and three living areas so the six of us aren’t on top of each other. One of the living rooms is a gaming haven which makes me stupidly happy lol! Everyone has space to get away from each other if they need to but we also have tons of room for family activities, having friends over etc and we finally have a spare room so that people can stay over, which is great.

It does take longer to clean - I’m a SAHM ATM but if I wasn’t I’d get a cleaner. The bills aren’t dramatically bigger which surprised me. Having a big garden is brilliant as DS can play football now. And I love my big kitchen, I finally have enough space for all my crap gadgets!

I don’t regret moving at all, but only because I know we have a financial back up plan. If we were stretched financially and it was a risk then no way would we have done it.

Its only DH and I but we were in a very very small 2 bed mid terrace Victorian house which was big enough but we just wanted more space and so we moved into a 4 bed converted church. So it's quite a difference and the little furniture we had made it look quite sparce. One thing we have realised is if you have more space you're more likely to fill it with stuff.

If you're happy to clean and heat the bigger place then go for it.

We moved from a tiny 3 bed terrace with a tiny garden to a 5 bed old house with land... it’s been amazing! We can have friends and family to stay, there’s a place for everything (we have a lot of outdoor kit like camping stuff and skis). We also aren’t getting in each other’s way all the time or tripping over the dog! My son also has room to actually play with his toys instead of them being stacked in boxes.
We moved from Home Counties to North Wales, so financially we’re fine as this house was no more expensive 👍

Really interesting replies. Loads of really good points.

Playrooms and having room for a bit dining table sounds dreamy sigh.

I don't actually feel cramped at the moment - the house has good flow and lots of natural light, which helps a lot. Also when we did things like update the kitchen we were able to try and lay out things to make the best use of the space - we have enough worktop space to properly cook, say (but compromised on a slimline dishwasher, and no tumble drier). The primary schools near us are decent too.

But it does take a bit of effort to keep on top of all the "stuff" and keep it feeling nice. Before buying anything we have to figure out where we can put it. I can definitely see with larger DC that'd start to get really difficult.

I like the idea of keeping financial commitments lower whilst DC are in the costly childcare phase and still small.

Also like the idea of a loft conversion or extension. A loft conversion would definitely be possible, because similar houses on the street have done this. An extension would be harder because we're on a slope (there are stairs down to the back garden from the patio by the back of the house), but the neighbours have a small extension so I can ask them about that.

Some people mentioned teenagers... yeah, it'd definitely feel cramped with 2 teenagers in the house, I hadn't thought of that... so it looks like we'd really want to move eventually :-)