To ask you about living in a bigger home?

[BocolateChiscuits]

DH and I own a 3 bed house, we have a 1yr old DC, and I'm pregnant. We bought years ago, and the house was quite dated and neglected when we bought it, so over the years we've done a fair bit of work, and now have it how we like it.

Thing is the house is perfectly formed, but all the rooms are small. The 3rd bedroom is a box room, the kitchen is a little galley, it's just a stride from the sofa to the tv, and we quickly feel squished if we invite more than 2 people round.

Meanwhile our incomes have grown since we bought the place, we've built up equity, and could afford somewhere a bit bigger in the local area (which we love) . But it would be costly.

So I'm wondering, given that we don't really need somewhere bigger, is it really worth the cost? I have fond daydreams of DC having plenty of room for playing, and inviting family over for big meals. But maybe by saving money by staying put we could afford lovely days out and holidays or treat family to a big pub meal all together instead.

So I wanted to ask MNetters' experiences. If you have moved to bigger home has it made your lives happier or easier? Do you regret it, or are you pleased? Does it take a lot more time in terms of cleaning? (We have a rota for non day-to-day stuff, that takes us about 30mins each a week - so not bad.) How about maintenance?

(Disclaimer: I know we're very lucky to own a home and to be in a position to consider buying a bigger one. We're in the middle of a housing affordability crises in the UK, and lots of people are struggling. Apologies to those people for posting this thread. It's so "first world problems", I know, it is just something I'm really curious about.)

Also another reason we did this is moving would stop us having luxuries as a family we like, holidays, plenty of days out and running two cars

We lived for 15 years in a tiny two bedroom house. Many of those years were spent gutting, refinishing original woodwork, building a big extension etc for the house we live in now. We’ve been in this very big house for almost 20 yrs.

The only disadvantage here are the stairs (three story) and cleaning, especially all the windows.

The advantage is not all the rooms are used everyday and therefore stay tidy. It’s lovely to have guest rooms always ready for friends/family if they want to spend the night - we live miles from anywhere. I love being able to get away and have a few lovely rooms to myself to read or write in. I just wish we had all this space when we were raising children. Our youngest was 10 when we moved in and our oldest was long gone.

We had some really great times in that tiny little house though, but it’s so nice not to be in the kitchen and hear someone fart on the toilet, lol. Yeah, it was that small.

Move for sure if you can afford it.

Living in a small space is much more stressful.

IME space is the secret of harmonious families (especially as kids get bigger).

We are also in a three-bed semi, one box room situation. The garden's tiny, and since gardening is my hobby I don't want to lose any extending out. This would be difficult anyway due to the situation of the house. Can't loft extend either due to roof design (beams everywhere).

We spent time earlier this year house hunting, but it's such a stupidly priced area, we'd have to spend £200K on another bedroom! Then I realised that school catchments are also a factor, and we're currently 200m away from a grammar and in catchment for another very good one, and if DS passes the 11+...

So we are staying put. And we are right in the middle of the biggest declutter you ever saw! We will have more space one way or another. If I win the lottery, we'd be gone in a shot. Good luck OP.

Personally I’d keep the present house and save for a bigger house.

In the meantime declutter so the small house holds less crap.

Another vote for moving! Love that we now have the space to host dd friends - means we can keep an eye on them and nice for her to have people round and have the space to get away from the adults. As the kids get bigger the more space the better and if you do it now while they are little you will all have time to enjoy.

I grew up in a massive house (sorry - not a boast, as it’s not my house ) and now live in a small one. If I was going to move now, I’d probably pick location over size tbh. If I could afford a big place in the location I wanted —I’d have to be extremely wealthy— then I’d probably also want to be able to pay a cleaner! I hate cleaning. Our tiny house has three bathrooms and a downstairs loo. Ridiculous and a total pain to keep clean. Definitely something I’d think about if moving again.

I would look to move.
It's not just about now but the future. Your current house will increasingly feel small andbyoubwill find house prices rise faster than your income in all liklihood, so at the point when you feel you really can't cope in the small house, it might be much more difficult or even impossible to afford.
Do you work and will you work as much when the next baby comes along? If you will work less, as long as you will be able to pay the mortgage and not put yourselves in poverty, now is the time to move. I've known lots of people who after they have their 2 kids find it increasingly difficult to move. Pushing yourself a bit financially usually pays off in the long run as prices rise faster and you have a more valuable asset.

Of course there is pushing yourself too far and driving yourself into poverty or anxiety about the mortgage. However most people where the woman doesn't work or works part time couldn't pay the mortgage for lomg if their DH lost his job (or other way round if man is at home or part time) - most people seem to just live with that - they have some savings but not enough to last all that long. Depends if that worries you or not.

We moved last autumn from a good sized, extended 3 bed 1930s semi to a large 5 bed extended 1920 semi. We have two DC under 3. It has made a big difference to the feeling of space. It has 3 reception rooms and a large kitchen/family room, a play room, sun room and a utility. Children's toys don't need to be put away all the time. Love having a utility room. DH and I use the small reception as a snug when the children have gone to bed.
But, it is more expensive -gas and electric, council tax. That isn't a big thing for us but I reckn it costs us £600 a month more. We used savings to pay the additional mortgage off.

move! more space can't be bad with a growing family

We moved from a 2-bed flat to a 4-bed house. It's easier to keep the 4-bed house tidy, but was easier to clean the 2-bed house, as we have so much stuff. So glad we moved! The mortgage on the house is only 300 quid more than the rent on the 2-bed flat as we moved area.

We had somewhere just as you described, the house was a perfectly lovely 3 bed semi that we did alot of work to but the storage was lacking and we just wanted more space. We had the same question too, should be move and stretch ourselves or spend the cash on our lives? Our salaries had also gone up and thanks to our house going up lots in value we moved a few months ago. We have 2 v. small kids and 2 dogs so we are loving the space! Huge kitchen diner, playroom/study, large livingroom, bigger garden, 4 beds (and we have an en suite which is bliss). We've doubled our mortgage and have a help to buy loan but in my eyes it's worth it! But I'm a homebody so my home life is important to me. If you like lavish holidays or less debt then maybe stay put!

We're currently living in the largest house we've had...it's four bedrooms and very spacious. The only complaint I have is the garden! It's bloody huge and we can't run to a gardener.

Very interesting thread.

We are in similar situation and have been agonising over whether to move or extend, 3 bed detached 1930’s. Happy with location and for 4 bed would be looking at at least 100K more with probably no more living space or better decor than we have worked to improve in our current house. Also new house may be semi detached which is deal breaker for me.

Have just had plans for a large single story extension kitchen diner which will free up our current dining room to be a playroom/ guest bedroom. Hoping that makes us happy with the house for at least the next 5 years. We finally decided to stay after working out fees and stamp duty would be at least 15K which will go a long way towards an amazing new extension.

Good luck with your decision if you can make your current home work space wise with an extension then it is definitely worth considering.

interestingly we moved to a bigger house but with less bedrooms - a 3 bed to a 2bed. The children have the master suite which therefore acts like a playroom, we have a tiny box room but to be honest we don't really need any more space. What's lovely now is we have a kind of open plan area which encompasses a dining area next to a lounge area (with piano and space to work for me plus sofas) then you turn a corner to the kitchen then another corner to a den like sitting room with a massive comfy sofa, tv, video games. Having all the living space is amazing and while we miss having a spare room for visitors (we get a lot) I really appreciate a bigger home we can all be in together

For us, it’s outdoor space that’s important. Give me a small house with large garden over large house with small garden any day. We actually did this; halved our bedrooms so the boys share and dd has her own room (previous house had had a loft conversion by previous owners). If at some point the boys want their own bedroom space we would consider converting the loft, but we’re years away from needing to think about that. What we do have is a large garden and although we’re attached on one side we’re not on the other. There’s room for their trampoline and a tree house and they can climb trees and make as much noise as they like. My neighbour is lovely, we are extremely lucky, and loves listening to them playing from her garden. Quite often sends her daughter round to join in too even though she’s a few years older. When the kids are getting cabin fever I just throw them outside whatever the weather and let them run it off.

Can you look to extend at all and get best both worlds?

It's definitely worth it op. We moved to a 4 bed semi and the bigger downstairs space is great for entertaining.

We moved last year and it is great to have the extra space.
However don't forget location is most important so a smaller house in the right location is better than a bigger house in the wrong one. We nearly bought a house that was lovely but with hindsight too big and wrong location. It would have doubled the cost of our mortgage.
We overpaid our mortgage for over a year before we actually moved to see if we could afford to live on less. There has been quite a lot of DIY and I'm glad the kids are not tiny (both in primary) as they are able to play on their own or with each other rather than needing to be entertained.

Personally I think get a house the size you need on a daily basis. If we have people to stay we put them up in the hotel round the corner. We prefer to spend the extra money on great holidays and days out. If one of us lost our job we could easily afford the mortgage on one salary which means less stress. I think back to my childhood, what are my memories? Holidays, days out, games played with my family, secret clubs with friends, pets, toys. Tbh I suspect the only reason I can remember the size of my parents house is cos they still live there.

Hate to be harbinger of doom - the mortgage rate is definitely going to go up to at least 5% over next few years.
Can you afford it if that's the case.
We saw 15% in the past - can you afford that ??
If so - yes , go for it x

I had a big house and I miss it. I moved from a small house when my children were little and the extra garden was great for them. there was plenty of space for having friend round and to stay over. As soon As I have the money i am going to get a bigger house again as i want more space.

You may have higher council tax, may have to move from area (affordability), heating will cost more, maintenance may be costlier. What about garden? That will require time, effort and money. Can you extend. Cost of fees, property tax if you move may not be that much less than an extension.

I think if you can afford it, and you like having friends around - go for it. I'd have loved to have had more space when DC 2 was born. Mine are two years apart - a playroom would have been amazing at that time!
We moved this summer - from a cosy beamy, old worlde 3 bedroom house to a very 1970s huge 4 bed plus a playroom once we have altered It so that the spaces suit us better.
We ummmed and ahhhed about it for ages - our last house was just as we wanted it after total refurb/ extension, but it was always too small whenever we had friends round - and this bothered me. (& it had a great garden too - although I find in winter, gardens are only great for a couple of hours a day, and not when it's all day raining...!)
Our new house is huge, but complete project ( money pit?!) , but so far no real regrets apart from that everything is taking longer than we thought to do.
Kids are now 7 and 5, and I can't wait to host loads. We always did have friends round, but play dates or sleep overs at ours were always way less easy than when we stayed at friends houses. I love that we will be able to host more, and that it will be comfortable and hopefully enjoyable for all. (I know you shouldn't compare yourself to others - but it really was so much easier at other friends larger homes, and I always was really aware of this. Didn't envy their flash cars, but did covet their big and multiple rooms!)
I wish we could have afforded to do it years ago, as alhough we have now future proofed, this house would have been amazing through the toddler years too.
Mortgage payment is much larger now, but I suppose the up side is we are out of the nursery fee years.
In hindsight, I would still have done it years ago if we could have afforded it though - feels a shame we missed enjoying this house for the last 4 years!
We are about to sort out critical illness cover - thanks to posters above who have reminded me of its importance.
Good luck whatever you decide!