Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask WWYD re inheritance

279 replies

littleteethies · 06/11/2017 16:52

I'll try to keep this as brief as poss, more of a WWYD I think
DM and DF bought a house 20 years ago (v nice location, meant for their retirement) months before DM passed away (v sudden and unexpected). DF met someone else (let's call her W from witch) v soon after (months) and again v soon after that he retired, sold his business interests and moved in with W into said house.
I did find it all rushed at the time but I was 20 hrs old, devastated after losing DM and just wanted DF to be happy. There was never any conflict between me and W, quite the opposite, although as the years went by I came to realise she was very selfish towards DF and just not a nice person.
About 5 years ago, DF's health deteriorated and I believe he and W have arranged wills. In a casual convo they told me that the agreement is that the surviving partner gets to remain in the house until their death, at which point it will be sold and split equally between me and W's son.
I had no objection whatsoever, my main concern was DF getting better and I even refused to talk about wills and inheritance and things like that. The justification was that W has sold her property whilst living with DF and given DF half the value of the house - I find this vv hard to believe as DF also sold another 2 properties whilst with her (again bought together with DM), had a pension and still worked; there's no way he could have spent all that money. But as it was now her home as well I felt that was the right thing to do.
My DF passed away too a couple of years ago, it completely floored me and the last thing on my mind was this house. Before the funeral she told me it would cost £8k to "read the will" and as we already know what their agreement was, there is no point to waste so much money.
I kept in v close contact with W, mainly because I felt she was a kind of link I had with DF's memory but as months went by this link started to fade and she became somewhat disinterested. However every time I went to see her, take her out for lunch etc she made a point of telling me how her son has given her money for various home improvements and generally pointing out many negatives about the house - they all seemed if not made up, then greatly exaggerated.
This made me somehow suspicious so one day over lunch I've casually asked to see DF's will. All hell broke loose, she started screaming at me, calling me names and stormed off. Just like that.
She has not spoken to me since, although bar a birthday card and a card for an anniversary, I've made no attempt either. I have though searched online and there is no will logged with DF's name; I've also looked up land registry records and the house has been in her name since 2003 (I presume DF's name was also on it and taken off).
I guess my question would be If there's anywhere to go from here? If the house is now solely in her name and I don't have a copy of DF's will, does that mean I have no claim whatsoever? Is there any point paying a solicitor?
It's hell of a lot of money to say goodbye to, but what kills me is it's the house DM bought and envisaged retiring in and this nasty woman got everything DM didn't have a chance to. And why didn't I say anything to DF at the time, but that's another thread.

OP posts:
another20 · 07/11/2017 14:39

Well done OP.

Go at it guns blazing as we know that she is entitled to half of the house - but if she has disposed of your fathers cash, jewellery, car etc and destroyed any will - she will have shot herself in the foot as intestacy says you are due all of this.

So take her to court - get your legal costs reclaimed and all the assets plus interest etc which can be paid from her half of the house.

Be careful and get sound legal advice - dont put a foot wrong.
I would see a solicitor before going back the bank. The bank may have not folloed procedure and will look to cover their own arse first and may take action which may give the game away.

Stealth.....

skunkrat · 07/11/2017 15:02

Please keep us updated OP, I also envisage a similar scenario in my own family, safe to say I think we are all gunning for you!

GrapesAreMyJam · 07/11/2017 15:47

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ohfourfoxache · 07/11/2017 15:56

Fucking hell Shock

This sounds as dodgy as hell Little. I’m so glad you’re pursuing this.

Good luck Thanks

JumpingJellybeanz · 07/11/2017 17:43

There might not be any will and that's why she's doing this. I know from my own flakiness that it's entirely possible that they had the discussion, came an agreement, even drawn up the will, but never got around to getting it properly signed and witnessed. So she's acting as if it did exist because the alternative is catastrophic for her.

DH had a will drawn up 6 years ago leaving his estate to DD (stepdaughter) if we both die together but hasn't gone in to sign it yet. Not because it's not his wishes but just because life gets in the way. I'll be giving him a kick to get it done after reading this thread.

Badweekjustgotworse · 07/11/2017 17:57

little hope you made progress today and get t and n touch with a solicitor. It must seem such a daunting task, it's the type of thing I'd almost be tempted to let slide and hope for the best just to make life easy, but really she can't get away with this.

I've a fractious relationship with a sibling and my remaining parent has taken great pains to make sure we don't end up in some hOrrinle situation trying to unravel unclear wills etc so I've been at the solicitors and witnessed the will and have a copy. Even at that it still worries me that we're going to end up in conflict. My heart goes out to you, I hope you have some support dealing with the emotional side of this. Unmumsnetty hugs

MissConductUS · 07/11/2017 18:11

but hasn't gone in to sign it yet. Not because it's not his wishes but just because life gets in the way. I'll be giving him a kick to get it done after reading this thread.

For DH and I the real impetus for us to finally get wills done was 9/11. He was less than a mile from the WTC that morning. It makes you realize that anything can happen at any time.

And I agree with you that there may not be a usable will. Getting proper wills done for both of us was not easy or cheap. Letting it go half done would have been easy. And if there is no will, she has no right to remain in the house until death even if she has an ownership interest as tenants in common. Just as with a divorce the courts can force a sale if one party wants out and the other can't buy their share.

PhuntSox · 07/11/2017 18:41

If your solicitor agrees I would file for probate and letters of administration naming yourself as executor. You then have the right to see everything the bank has etc. Take advice asap!

HashiAsLarry · 07/11/2017 18:53

Just seen your update 're the bank.
That alone makes this worth getting a solicitor in to check over everything.

GetOutOfMYGarden · 07/11/2017 18:55

Get a solicitor in and involve the police. You're your dad's NOK, his half will be directly yours.

Jux · 07/11/2017 18:57

Oh op, how horrible. I do sympathise. When my brother dropped dead unexpectedly at a relatively young age, with no Will, the soliior had to advertise the death and do a few other things (can’t really remember) to ensure that anyone with a claim on him could come forward. There was a length of time involved. BUT the ads were put in local papers, that may have been don and you simply didn’t see them because you don’t live in the area.

That shouldn’t have mattered too much though, as W knew perfectly well that you existed, and you had no reason to think shewould behave so appallingly. W has lied through her teeth, committed fraud against your father as well as against you, and she needs to be brought to book.

Keep schtum though. Don’t let her know.

MsMcMurphy · 07/11/2017 19:01

Blatantly placemarking...this thread is fascinating to me as I fear I could be in a similar situation in the future. W sounds like a real shocker. Good luck and yes, I'd be keeping schtum too.

Si1ver · 07/11/2017 19:08

Little bit of a placemark.

This really is terrible behaviour and I do hope you get it all sorted out, but I've nothing useful to add.

Ambonsai · 07/11/2017 19:35

I'm not sure if this has been mentioned, I might be getting mixed up with another thread.
Have you tried a probate search?

www.gov.uk/search-will-probate

Ambonsai · 07/11/2017 19:37

You can get a copy
If she's omitted nok details on that she's in trouble

JohnHunter · 07/11/2017 19:47

@Ambonsai I think I've understood correctly from earlier in the thread that the OP did this but couldn't find the probate registered. The plot thickens.

MissConductUS · 07/11/2017 19:52

Yes, I posted that link at the very beginning of the thread and OP's dad isn't listed, which means that the will hasn't gone through probate, if there is a will.

SandysMam · 07/11/2017 19:59

I also envisage a similar situation in the future with DF. Again, it makes me feel grabby but the real issue is a lot of it was DM’s money and she would be devastated if it went to a stranger. Slightly off topic but it would be interesting to know if all those in a similar situation lost their DM’s first. It seems to me that it is always the fathers who don’t protect their children’s best interests in these situations. Sad really.

SandysMam · 07/11/2017 20:04

Meant to add good luck OP. I know this is totally about the principle and not the money and sincerely hope you win. Lawyer up is my new favourite phrase Grin

Etaina · 07/11/2017 20:04

I think I would be phoning around all the solicitors local to your DF and asking if he made a will. They can normally look it up pretty quickly.

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 07/11/2017 20:08

If she had managed to get the house completely signed over to her the same was as she did by lying to the bank. Could she of released equity from the house to be living on and that's what's been paying for the upgrades and work on the house and she's just saying its her son to stop you becoming suspicious?

If so you need to act fast.

LoveProsecco · 07/11/2017 20:20

You should be a detective OP! Well done so far and good luck Flowers

Ambonsai · 07/11/2017 20:25

Ah yes, I thought that was just a will search.
If she hasn't applied for probate that does mean she has a will with her name on it.

Your best bet is the bank I think. Hopefully they took a copy

FitBitFanClub · 07/11/2017 20:27

Can't believe floralnomad's post of yesterday: I wouldn’t waste money chasing this , it will just cost you in the long run.

Of course the OP must chase this up!!!

FitBitFanClub · 07/11/2017 20:28

Does it matter if she's squirrelled the money away somewhere? If she's found to have committed major fraud (as looks quite likely), she's liable to pay it back somehow.