Splitting restaurant bill

[idontwanttodothisanymore]

I’m one of those people who like to pay for just my meal. I hate splitting the bill by how many people there are.

Me and DH went out with his friend and his OH the other day.

Mine and DH meal came to: £31.57
I had pizza and water, he had chicken and one coke.
DH friend and OH meal came to: £49.78
They had ribs, lasagne, chips and 3 drinks.

Final bill was £81.75
DH friend had two vouchers for £20 off, so they both used that.

Then the OH said we could pay the rest. So we ended up paying £41.75 - £10 more than our meal!!!

I had never met her before and was completely shocked that she wanted us to split by 4 when our meal was cheaper.
She was very intimidating anyway so I didn’t want to say anything.

We were going to do 2 bills but the waiter was all flustered so we said don’t bother. Regretting it now!

I know it’s only £10 but our circumstances are so different. They both work and she has one child - he works full time and she works part time. Whereas DH works part time (and overtime if there is any) but I don’t (I had to leave my job due to medically issues), and we have 2 children.

DH doesn’t think I should be annoyed but I really am!
AIBU to be annoyed?

I don’t think I’ll ever see her again anyway, I didn’t get a good vibe from her and she’s just not my kind of person at all.

That made me laugh out loud, Cambodian. Now the whole tube carriage is staring at me like I just whipped out my calculator in bob bob ricard!

You probably memorised every price on the menu upon sitting down

Christ I’m not Rainman. Why are you so desperate to make people on this thread look stingy or obsessed with menu prices Rebecca? Of course I can add up in seconds, I’m an adult, I didn’t realise it was a character flaw. How are you not able to quickly add 3 or 4 numbers?

And why do people keep accusing others of ‘not giving even a few pennies’? It’s about not subsidising someone else who have significantly more expensive food and drink. Extrapolation much!

I do wonder how the adamant 'pay for what I order' crowd feel about shared dishes, do you get anxious when the group decides to share all dishes? What if you don't eat part of one of the shared dishes? Do you deduct a percentage? Its all fascinating

It’s really not. It’s basic maths. If 6 people shared 3 starters then you pay a third of the starter costs.

The only time I can think of where splitting the bill is the ONLY option is when you get tapas or absolutely everything is shared.

Although when it comes to takeaways I’m with Smithy and Nessa - I want my own fish, you can keep your mitts off it

*dish not fish (although I am partial to a prawn chow mien )

It’s really not. It’s basic maths. If 6 people shared 3 starters then you pay a third of the starter costs

6 people pay a third each? Are you sure.....

But cherry - for the umpteenth time why do you think people can't add up? It's that we don't think it's friendly or appropriate.

Again, I find your use of the word "subsidising" fascinating in this context. You sound utterly resentful of your so-called friends.

You must be a right laugh at Christmas or birthdays. Does it keep you awake if you spent £10 on a friend's child and they only spent £7.99 on yours because you checked the Argos website?! How can you recoup that money? Why should you "subsidise" someone else's Christmas?

'Many people simply can’t afford three course meals and booze, for themselves or to subsidise others. Or they might be on a diet, dislike the pub / restaurant soft drink selections. Should they just stay in? '

God, yes, PLEASE! Who needs such a buzzkill - already going in not liking the place or food, already concerned about subsidising others, dieting food bore. Please, just stay home!

It's complicated, ins't it? We are comfortable enough, so that eating out with friends or family, we tend to just take it in turns to pay, rather than splitting the bill.

And yet, and yet, my worst experience ever was with a group of work colleagues.

We were eating off a set menu, so that there was little room for variation. Someone had actually had something extra, so threw in an extra fiver to cover that. One colleague, unbeknownst to the rest of us had clocked that the fiver was on top of the amount we had divided, and so put in a fiver less. She was paying in £1 coins, so it wasn't a question of not having change. There was, in my mind, no excuse for that sort of behaviour and is the example I think of, when CF's are mentioned.

In earlier years, we used to go out with big groups, when people have been known to leave early, leaving the cash for what they have spent. They never seem to make allowance for things like service charges, never mind tips. It's not a big deal to make up the difference, but as before, I tend not to go out with them again and much prefer eating with a smaller circle of people with whom one can relax and not worry about the details.

Exactly expat

If you can't afford it /don't enjoy a night out don't fucking go out ! Have friends over for a meal instead .

I have very little disposable income, so going out for a meal with friends is a real treat and just don't go if I'm sailing too close to the wind because I want to enjoy it, not sit silently calculating if someone's had more to eat/drink. If everyone else agrees a place/food I don't like - sushi, for example - I usually won't go, just say, 'Sorry, can't make it' rather than put a damper on everyone else being a po-faced food bore.

Me and my friends always pay for what we eat. Much less hassle. Although when I had £40 worth of tesco vouchers I let everyone have £10 off their bill and pay remainder of what they had. There was 4 so easy and these were good friends.

I agree with posters be more firm and say im paying for what I ate end of.

The thing the hysterical bill splitters ("it's simple maths!" "It's normal on the continent!" "Just tell the waiter!")
Are missing is the concept of SHARING. So you think it's standard to order individual drinks rather than sharing a bottle* (bottle sharing is cheaper) or sharing some starters or puddings maybe. You know, normal stuff.

*yes I know, you all drank tap water or individual diet cokes with your pasta arraibiata. That just makes you sound even more abnormal

Even my 2 year old learns about sharing at nursery! Maybe I should be asking to pay lower fees because she's not a big eater and I don't really see why I am subsidising those kids who like to have second helpings at lunch?!

How do bill splitters cope with hosting . Do you charge your guests? What if you host and give them duck, then they host you and serve baked potatoes - you will have subsidised them . Do you ask for the difference?

Yes, definitely, Rebecca! And start a thread about it. All this subsidising just has to stop.

I cringe at the posters who talk of their "DH goes to pay", DH this and DH that. Either the money is joint in which case you're paying for yourself anyway or you're making a point that you've been paid for and sound like a knob when somebody tells you that an extra amount of money to find is tough for them. Just stop it. hmm

This seems to be a sore spot for you. My DH does pay. We have a joint account and card but he refuses to use it for meals out and always uses his personal card. It would be incorrect of me to say 'I paid'.

How pathetic... when you are hosting you are aware that people are coming around.

Surely when people go out ... they are aware that they need to pay for their own meal. Or people go to work to pay for other people's meals now? .... sorry I didn't know it was a soup kitchen.

Hosting opens another can of worms. Could not do family style because greedy fucker freeloading Shiela would take it all for herself.

If you can't afford it /don't enjoy a night out don't fucking go out

And once again its not about being able to afford it, anytime I eat out I can always afford my own food - just not necessarily other peoples more expensive choices. Not sure what hosting others has to do with it either, I regularly have friends round for dinner as part of a Come Dine thing and of course I dont charge them, how ridiculous.

But Laguna - what if you serve basic wine and lasagne and then one friend serves champagne and lobster whilst another serves diet coke and a domino's?

Notice how its the greedy freeloaders who want to split the bill....If they had to pay the full amount they would probably consume a bit less !!!

But Laguna - what if you serve basic wine and lasagne and then one friend serves champagne and lobster whilst another serves diet coke and a domino's?

If youre trying to be funny its not working, eating at each others houses is not the same as a restaurant, would have thought that was obvious. No money is being exchanged.

But don't you feel bad about subsidising the friends who cook cheaper food?

What about the ones who cook more expensive food than you did? How do you think they feel about your meal?

It's not meant to be "funny" in the least. It's meant to illustrate to you the concept of sharing and friends not penny pinching from one another.

Be honest Laguna, when you host do you tell people to bring whatever they want to drink themselves?

And do you take things with you? (I can't go anywhere empty handed; I always feel the need to take a bottle or flowers or crisps and houmous or something. Must be a "greedy freeloader" thing 😂)