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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Did I REALLY say anything wrong here?

152 replies

wheresAbobble · 06/11/2017 12:34

I have a very close friend, she has just got back into work, she has 6 children and single so has been a struggle for her. We've just been chatting on the phone and she was talking about her new job (cleaning) which she does a few time a week, she said how she's getting an extra £80 a week on top of her benefits and how much it's helping her, I said it all makes a big difference etc etc.

She then says how she hasn't told the job centre that she's working cash in hand so getting all benefits still, I know it's none of my business but as we were talking about I said how she needs to tell them because if she gets found out she could be in the shit, all I said, and she tells me to fuck off and hangs up???

OP posts:
abbsisspartacus · 06/11/2017 12:36

No your right

Wolfiefan · 06/11/2017 12:37

She's a benefit cheat. You were right.

Shouldileavethedogs · 06/11/2017 12:38

Oh dear. I'd wait for her to contact you with an apology. Rude cow

FizzyGreenWater · 06/11/2017 12:38

You were right, and doing her a favour!

Don't ring back.

WanderingTrolley1 · 06/11/2017 12:41

She knows she’s in the wrong.

TrojansAreSmegheads · 06/11/2017 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EiffelTower · 06/11/2017 12:44

She probably feels guilty herself, which is why she couldn't face tackling the issue. She was maybe hoping you would say something to back up what she is doing, to put her conscience at ease.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 06/11/2017 12:46

You obviously hit a nerve but it's not your fault.
not 100% sure but I think you can be asked to return all the benefits you claimed if accused of fraud - if she declares her earnings she'll only be a little worse off, whereas if she's caught it could be a massive difference. If she registered self-employed earning that much a week she might be better off than on JSA.

TheStoic · 06/11/2017 12:48

She’s very sensitive for someone so completely open about her finances.

littlebird7 · 06/11/2017 12:52

You are right she is a benefits cheat.

Send a text and tell her you had her best interests at heart and were not being unkind. Leave the door open for her to contact you if she is a good friend, you hit a nerve thats all.

OrlandoMusc · 06/11/2017 12:55

NO, that single mother with 6 kids who is also a benefit cheat who tells people she's a benefit cheat is totally in the wrong here. Like you couldn't be more right, you couldn't have picked a more perfect example of wrong and right than you, and this woman with 6 kids who is a single parent and an open benefit cheat.

TheCatsMother99 · 06/11/2017 12:57

What?! You were completely right. She's a benefits cheat and if she gets found out she absolutely will be in the shit.

SomehowSomewhere1 · 06/11/2017 12:58

Would it come under ‘permissable’ work and still therefore be legal with her benefits. Worth a google, though would need declaring.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/11/2017 12:59

I don't think you should have passed any comment tbh. People do what they have to in order survive.
The poor women is on her own with 6 kids. It can't be easy.

Fuckit2017 · 06/11/2017 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pickleypickles · 06/11/2017 12:59

You are right and benefits cheating is wrong and if no body did it then there would be more money and less hoops to jump through for people who really need it.

On the other hand it is disheartening for your friend to get the exact same amount of money whether working or not. Its difficult because i fully agree of you can work you should but where is the incentive??

This is the only reason UC will be better than tax credits because you will ALWAYS be better off working any amount of hours.

LemonShark · 06/11/2017 13:00

OrlandoMusc your post made me actually lol 😂 Completely agree ;)

upperlimit · 06/11/2017 13:00

Grin Orlando

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 06/11/2017 13:00

Also if she does get "found out". Don't be surprised if she looks at you with suspicion

GothAndTired · 06/11/2017 13:02

This isn't your fault at all, don't worry.

CredulousThickos · 06/11/2017 13:04

Well I for one think it’s absolutely DISCUSTING.

She should be taken out and shot. I bet she’s got Sky telly and acrylic nails and everything, that’s my hard earned tax dollar that is.

I bet all her six kids that she’s a single mother of have different fathers as well. And she drives a Mercedes.

Amirite?

Fuckit2017 · 06/11/2017 13:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ReanimatedSGB · 06/11/2017 13:05

Mph. Given the utterly brutal benefits regime, I'm on your friend's side. The government has been screwing the poor for years, and anyone who manages to make a little extra on the side deserves it (it's not exactly in the same league as those expense-fiddling MPs and tax-dodging corporations). You should have kept your trap shut. And FFS don't grass her up, that would be really despicable.

Sparklingbrook · 06/11/2017 13:06

She knows. She doesn't want it pointing out. I wouldn't engage any further.

limitedperiodonly · 06/11/2017 13:07

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