Did I REALLY say anything wrong here?

[wheresAbobble]

I have a very close friend, she has just got back into work, she has 6 children and single so has been a struggle for her. We've just been chatting on the phone and she was talking about her new job (cleaning) which she does a few time a week, she said how she's getting an extra £80 a week on top of her benefits and how much it's helping her, I said it all makes a big difference etc etc.

She then says how she hasn't told the job centre that she's working cash in hand so getting all benefits still, I know it's none of my business but as we were talking about I said how she needs to tell them because if she gets found out she could be in the shit, all I said, and she tells me to fuck off and hangs up???

Firstly, no, the OP didn't say anything wrong, I just hope she said it with feeling and not judgement. Her friend was confiding in her, with a new-found relief in a very challenging circumstance.

There are many posters writing as if benefit cheats are the worst people in the world. I would guess that most are in desperate circumstances, and not calculating masterminds of deception.

To put things in to contents. In surveys of the general public, Britons believe that on average 24% of benefit claimants are fraudulent. The reality is 0.7%.

For the fiscal year, 2012-2013, there was an estimated 1.6bn paid out due to benefit fraud.

In contrast, for the same fiscal year, there was estimated 34bn uncollected due to tax evasion.

Not justifying benefit cheats, but I think that people refer to them as if they are the root of challenges of our economy. They're not.

You make an interesting point but the Queen only has four children Trumpettina

Trumpettina, circumstances can change pretty damn fast, actually. You can plan for a large family that you can afford, and then circumstances suddenly change. Don't make assumptions.

Could your friend have thought you were making a veiled threat to tell if she didn't follow your (quite correct) advice?

You make an interesting point but the Queen only has four children Trumpettina

No one needs to have six children.... contraception is widely available in the UK. Perhaps she should have thought about how difficult it would be to cope before getting up the duff for the third, fourth, fifth and sixth times and then feeling entitled to rip off the tax payer because life isn't a bed of roses for her and the children she chose to bring into the world

You have absolutely no idea about her or her circumstances.
In the real world, people have children and many have more than they planned.
Your term of phrases 'Up the Duff' speaks volumes about your judgemental patronising attitude.

She's doing what she has to do to feed her kids. If someone told you they set up an offshore account to receive funds would you criticise them? The system is completely fucked, and mostly disadvantaged women and the disabled, and single mothers in particular. I'm not surprised she's having to work on top of benefits to keep afloat.

How do you know her circumstances weren't different when she had her kids? You don't. Stop being so bloody judgemental. Bad fortune can befall anyone, and if only those who could afford to raise their kids even if they became single and lost their job or their health, only the top few percent would ever afford to have kids.

You are right and benefits cheating is wrong and if no body did it then there would be more money and less hoops to jump through for people who really need it

FFS. I'm sick of reading shit like this. The Treasury doesn't work like that. Are some people genuinely this hard of thinking?

Precisely Senza. And 1 million people who are part of a working family are living below the poverty line.

I would do whatever it took to feed and clothe my children.

I had a friend like that, her sister also did the same

I cut her off and I'm so glad I did

It made my blood boil every time I saw her! Scum

You were right, because she may be breaking the law and risks getting into trouble.

On the other hand, she is doing what she can to support her children. Maybe she reacted the way she did because she is already stressed about working out how to survive. She knows you're right, but that doesn't make it easier for her.

It made my blood boil every time I saw her! Scum

Is it just the mothers who are raising their children who make your blood boil? Or are you able to save some of your anger for the fathers who buggered off?

"Just this morning I have been helping my friend who is a single mum of 5, and the benefits system support stops after 2 kids except Child Benefit. She gets the same as a single parent of 2. Yet she has 5. If she went to work for 16 hours at minimum wage, she would be £305 per WEEK better off! "
Unless you friend had multiples after April 2017 then she will be getting tax credits for at least four dc.

Not true DC - it's also new applications after April 2017, not just kids born after that date. And that will basically be everyone when moving over to UC.

Benefit fraud costs the country a tiny amount compared to the super rich not paying tax.

I'm guessing all the pp on this thread pointing out her dishonesty also take these same morals with them when shopping - avoiding tax neglectful organisations such as Amazon, Top Shop, etc?

Do they also apply these morals to their coffee purchases avoiding tax shy Starbucks? Also with TV viewing and music, no Take That, Mrs Browns Boys etc.?

Agree with others, working will attract working tax credits so yes declare and she'll be much better off.
Also agree that nobody knows the person's circumstances it's very easy to sneer but anyone's oh can piss off and leave them in the lurch

You are discusting CredulousThicko

An infinite number of YYs, Fuckit.

Oh and the poster who said
'no one' needs to have six children.'

It does actually take 2 to tango, you know.

I earn £100 a week on top of my Carers Allowance. I am allowed to do this and don’t need to declare it. Maybe your fictional friend is the same.

The government has been screwing the poor for years

I dib't think it's the government she's been screwing

I’m fairly sure that earning £80 she wouldn’t lose any benefits, and is probably shit scared of losing anything given the brutal regime that the Welfare State has become.

When the fuck did MN become the Daily Mail readers paradise? Have the ones making snarky and nasty comments ever had to live on benefits? It’s not the life of fucking Riley, it’s bloody hard! I did it for a few years and it was soul destroying in so many ways. Not least because of judgement from people who do not have a fucking clue what it’s like to budget with an absolute pittance. “Heat or eat” is a choice many have to make because our piss poor excuse for a government have decided that anyone on benefits is an easy target to save money while actually pushing millions of people so far below the poverty line they can’t even see the fucking line. It’s disgusting.

You all have the nerve to talk about what’s “morally right” yet you’re prepared to cut the meagre benefits available to a hardworking single parent because it makes you feel better to judge? There but for the grace of God go I springs to mind!

WTF. Calling people scum is disgusting!
I had to run away from a violent dh and ask for help a few years back, yes I LTB and claimed some benefit to get myself and dd sorted out. Had I stayed I would have cost the state even more money to sort out injuries.
This is why I don't judge