To ask how long you should wait between 1st and 2nd DC?

[MsHopey]

Hey. I've been lurking for a while but I don't post very often. Background information, I've been with my husband for 8 years, we're both 25. Hes always wanted children and told me so from the day we met, I said no for many years as I'm the oldest of 8 and knew they could be hard work and wanted to enjoy our time together.
Last year we made the decision to start trying, I got pregnant within 4 months and our little boy is now 13 weeks old. I have never been happier in my life. Husband has always wanted 2 DC, and I already know I want another one.
But how long do most people wait before having a second one? I want them to be close in age so they have things in common (hopefully, I know some kids just don't get on), but also want to leave my body long enough to recover from the first pregnancy (things weren't too bad) and my c section.
How long have other people waited and why?
Please be kind, I've seen how normal sounding posts can get quite nasty, quite fast :)

10months, wouldn’t recommend. Then 3 yrs, took that long to get over the shock of dc1 and dc2

Ffion wow you were keen !

My ds is 15mo and I want a 3y gap so going to start trying in 11 months.

If you only want two kids and you want them close friends, I would go with a gap of 15-24 months max. I have loads of friends who have kids in different age gaps. My two are 20 months apart and are the best of friends. They play all the time together so nicely. Of course sometimes they fight, but they are the perfect age to have fun together. Friends who have a 2.5-3 year gap...the kids do not seem as close as the younger one is a little too young still. But if you want more then two kids, I would suggest the 2.5-3 year gap as it is easier to cope when you have a bigger gap as the kids can be a lot of work when they are young as its like having two babies until they are age 3 and 4. Mine are now 4 and 5 and I love it. They have wonderful imaginations and create many different ways to play together. Of course they also have other friends and play with other children, but when they are at home, they have each other and it works well.

When you're under 30, everything pings back each time anyway. My first three were all born within three years and it was fine.

Second batch, a decade later was slightly harder work.

DD turned 1 last week and we’ve just started to think about having another. We have recently come into some inheritance, if it weren’t for this it wouldn’t be feasible for us to consider another until DD is entitled to 30 hours free nursery care. When DD was a few month old I went through a stage of feeling really broody again as a saw friends new babies I wanted to do it all over again. Glad we waited for at least a little while longer now though... Now the first baby sleeps through and my body feels back to normal

i have a 10 year age gap it was'nt planned that way, but after 8 mmc and unexplained fertility thats the way it's worked out.
I myself feel relly relly lonely this time around,as all my friends kid are past babyhood and my mum friends are at work.Im also 43 and i get a lot of strang looks from the younger mums

We just decided to ttc no.2 now dd is 3 because it seemed like it would lead to a good age gap. I just went through a miscarriage at 13 weeks and now it feels like we've left it too long because if we ttc again realistically it will be a 4-year age gap. Moral of the story is if you know you'd like more then just crack on with it as there are no guarantees as to how long it will take. I wish we'd got on with it sooner.

@teasbagsmummy why would you get strange looks from younger mums? Having a baby in your 40s is the norm these days, isn't it?

I am 7weeks pregnant with DC2 and there will be a 7 and a half year age gap between my baby and my DD. This wasn't planned this way at all, but circumstances and finances etc have meant this is how it is.

My DH is a bit worried he will be a v old dad when DC2 arrives as he will be 48, which will make him in his 60s when the child is a teenager... although there is nothing wrong with that per se, of course.

Oh god. I would wait a bit tbh. When my twins were that age I was waxing lyrical about the wonders of motherhood. Now they're 13 months and I'm on the brink of a breakdown. If I were also heavily pregnant right now I'd be in an asylum.

I need a hysterectomy so we are trying to decide if we are done or want another - I really cannot fathom being pregnant while taking care of these two, but I'm already 35 so don't want to wait until they're at school and don't want to delay surgery that long either. Maybe when they're 3 ish.

No I think the younger mums are trying to figure out if I'm my ds grab on not. I've been asked on a number of occasions if I'm his gran. My death stare or reply I hope not my other son is 10 usually is enough 😀

Hang in there TammyswansonTwo

My answer would be as close together as your body, finance and marriage can handle. I have twins and I am LOVING the factt hat once a stage is done, it's DONE. Begone buggy. Sayonarra high chairs. No more nappies. You can both get yourselves up and dressed in the morning? Awesome. Full days out with no naps? Bloody briliant
you can probably tell I did not love the baby days