Parents in East Sussex are being told to ‘Get a Grip’ via leaflet if their child is off sick for more than 3 days a term

[DingleBerries]

Will you sign the petition to stop this?

What absolutely arseholes. My friends son was admitted to hospital last week, he was in the high dependency unit and there were talks about intubating him.

This week she gets this in her DC’s book bag. Her nerves already in tatters she is told by East Sussex council to ‘Get a grip’, that other parents manage to get their kids to school and questions her ability.

Absolutely out of order, patronising, condescending and insulting.

Please sign the petition if you agree.

www.change.org/p/east-sussex-county-council-east-sussex-county-council-withdraw-the-get-a-grip-campaign-and-make-a-public-apology/w

You would think that it would be a good idea to create a cooperative atmosphere between schools and parents. This sort of initiative just serves to drive a wedge between them.

Often individual schools are responding to pressure placed on them from above.

I've signed. It's a stupid and crass campaign which will have no impact whatsoever. Who is going to read that leaflet and think 'Oh my goodness, you are so right. I will get a grip and send my sick child to school.' A grand total of nobody at all. Also, it's rude.

Also, I really do not get this obsession with attendance. I get that there are parents who can't be bothered to get their kids to school and that's a really bad thing. But what on earth is the point of sending sick kids to school, even if they're not that sick? Or being difficult about medical appointments? Does anyone really need 100 per cent attendance? As a pp said, I had pretty poor attendance as I was sick a lot as a child but still got all A*s, went to Cambridge (where I was also sick a lot and still got a 2:1) and now don't have 100 per cent attendance at work by any means but am still valued and earn plenty!

I have more of an issue of people sending their sick children into school.
I knew someone who would do that because she couldn't be bothered to have them at home 'under her feet'

I do know someone who keeps their child off quite a lot - even worse they live 1 minute away so when she does perk up she doesn't even take her in for the afternoon.
However she is a bit of a hypochondriac herself to be honest and she doesn't work so there is no incentive to get her into school.

My DC school now has a policy that any sickness absence of 5 consecutive days or more requires a note from the GP and the absence will be marked as unauthorised if one isn't supplied.

DS3 missed 4 consecutive days last week having been sent home after lunch on Monday. It's been very on and off and he doesn't need to see a GP (eating and drinking fine, perfectly alert but has been napping). He's still not quite right and was sick again this morning. I'll take the unauthorised absence over making a GP appt for a child who doesn't need treatment but is infectious.

Frayed On behalf of my immuno compromised DH who has to sit in surgery waiting rooms.........

I hate this kind of thing. When you have had a child who is seriously ill/in hospital most parents would be exhausted and emotional. A leaflet like that could make a horrible situation worse because you take it personally even though it isn't aimed at you. Meanwhile the people who these leaflets are aimed at will probably just laugh, chuck it in the bin and carry on as they were.

I've got a child who has a chronic illness and has had loads of hospital admissions. I'm fed up of being moaned at because my child is off school again while some parents jet off on a term time holiday without a care in the world.

Good on you frayed! You're a great example not wasting NHS resources.

I dont know yet whether the school definitely will put it as unauthorised, just that is the policy. I am also in a position to afford a £60 fine which can be issued for a 5 consecutive day unathourised absence. Not all families can afford that.

I think these notes are awful and crass.

We have a dc with sn and have gone private to get more support. One of the nicest things about the change was being told by school 'little stressy does have an awful cough. We totally understand you will want to keep her at home tomorrow if it didn't get better". And as they have excellent academic results it clearly isn't harming their bottom line.

I am really sceptical of a connection between a few days absence per year and academic achievement for kids doing ok at school and who have supportive parents.,

I received this yesterday (Friday) along with a letter of concern for my sons attendance as he had a sick bug last term and was off for 3 days... it’s school policy that they are 48 hours clear before returning, although he was ready to go back the day after I HAD to keep him off for 3 days... his attendance is usually excellent. Yet I’m still being told to ‘get a grip’... which was given to my son in class!!! So rude and unnecessary... obviously a complete idiot thought up that campaign, talk about alienating your audience! I’ve signed the petition.

Exactly Livyela1 a total contradiction and an insult to boot.

Saw this on BBC news just now.

Headline what are good reasons to be off school - NONE! Is clearly absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Having read more, they classify colds as not contagious, and think hospital (consultant) appts can be arranged outside school hours... Right.

It really is adding insult to injury to hand this out to people struggling with serious illnesses, bereavement etc

I'll sign the petition.

I just came on to say that the BBC have got hold of it.
Clearly the DM weren’t interested, they could have done us a favour for once.

Annoyingly the councils comments on the BBC report said that they “Will not flinch” and this campaign.

So they aren’t backing down whatsoever.

What's happened to resilience, just chuck it in the bin and forget about it! A leaflet can't hurt you, ignore and move on

Good question about resilience

What do you think happens to a parents resilience when their child is long term sick?

Does it
A) increase?
B)Decrease?
C) stay the same?

What a rude, counterproductive leaflet. Nobody is going to take this as a positive. The people who don't care aren't about to start caring because they get a leaflet. The people who do care but have the sense not to send a spewing child into school are just going to be pissed off but carry on being sensible about not sending the aforementioned spewing child in. And for the parents of seriously ill children, this is just another straw to add the massive great bale they already have to carry on their backs. I can't see this working on anyone, frankly. All it's going to do is provoke eye-rolling, irritation or stress. This is no way to influence anyone!

I wonder how much the council paid for it... and how big a print-run they did

People with children with long term illnesses, frequent hospitalisation, multiple surgeries etc have resilience in bucketloads.

What a nasty little comment.

AND so do the children. To cope with the pain and being pulled out of school all the time to have painful and invasive procedures, to know their life might be limited etc.

They would rather be at school for god's sake, obviously.

They also have resilience in bucketloads.

Bravest most resilient kids out there are those dealing with parental illness and being ill themselves. Would you look at a 5 yr old who is testing their own blood sugar due to t1 diabetes and tell them they aren't resilient and need to get a grip when they have to miss school coz their levels are dangerously low?

The leaflet is offensive stupid and typical of usual council fuckwittery

I hope a hospital consultant gives his/her opinion on this to the BBC as they are the ones working in a cash strapped NHS being expected to cram appointments in outside school hours.

Well, I dont know, maybe its the people I know, but actually my resilience was pretty fucking low, I was very depressed, stressed, anxious. Sure, i had to cope and keep asmile on, but you know what I couldnt cope with? This kind of shit. Uncaring, nasty, unnecessary, nothing to do with caring for my child, just one more fucking kick.
Actually, you know what, I know plenty of us feel the same as we often post about it, usually its just after the usual shitty letter from school/lea. A lot of us get upset. I.used to cry.
Fuck me and my shitty resilience hey

God, actually, thinking back, I was constantly living on my nerves, one step away from a complete breakdown. I must be a really shit mum of a child with a chronic illness hey, how unlike all those supermums

Anyway, i'm going to have to block this now as its quite upsetting. Get me and my shit resilience. Jolly good extra gold stars to those of you who shrug it off, you'd have been great in ww2 etc etc

I hope I get one of these leaflets. Because I will take great pleasure in writing my thoughts on it and sending it back.

My dd has had more than three days off of term. She’s been very ill and even then I’ve sent her back sooner than I would have liked. So much so that I think she’s not quite recovered and is now quite run down.

She is 5 FFS.

Also if the schools did more to bloody clean the schools maybe we’d have lower sickness rates for example. Or opened the windows a bit. Or got the kids out more instead of sitting in classes all the time.

Am really gunning for one of these letters now.