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Original poster

Parents in East Sussex are being told to ‘Get a Grip’ via leaflet if their child is off sick for more than 3 days a term

191 replies

DingleBerries · 04/11/2017 08:42

Will you sign the petition to stop this?

What absolutely arseholes. My friends son was admitted to hospital last week, he was in the high dependency unit and there were talks about intubating him.

This week she gets this in her DC’s book bag. Her nerves already in tatters she is told by East Sussex council to ‘Get a grip’, that other parents manage to get their kids to school and questions her ability.

Absolutely out of order, patronising, condescending and insulting.

Please sign the petition if you agree.

www.change.org/p/east-sussex-county-council-east-sussex-county-council-withdraw-the-get-a-grip-campaign-and-make-a-public-apology/w

OP posts:
2014newme · 04/11/2017 13:37

It would not bother me. If my child was in hospital I would know the leaflet was not targeted at me and think that they gave one to all families.

allegretto · 04/11/2017 13:39

My son has already lost 10 days due to illness this term. Tbh, if I got a leaflet like that through the door, I would be booking a termtime holiday straightaway just to piss them off.

2014newme · 04/11/2017 13:39

I do book termtime holidays I still don't mind about the leaflet

StealthPolarBear · 04/11/2017 13:41

Are there still ewos? They should be working with families to resolve problems, I suspect they've been cut and so this sort of approach is favoured.

This is mn, where an adult who wakes up with a sniffle or feeling tired is encouraged to have a duvet day and think of their wellbeing. Amazed so many people think this is OK. It's not it's crap.

Ecureuil · 04/11/2017 13:41

Seems like a massive waste of effort to me. The people it doesn’t apply to are still going to be absent for genuine reasons. Those it is targeted at aren’t going to suddenly see the error of their ways.

StealthPolarBear · 04/11/2017 13:42

Ooh and I'll throw in a patronising "love" as well

PaintingByNumbers · 04/11/2017 13:42

Signed

"Get a grip" is really rude, apart from anything else. If anyone in a professional context ever said that to me, I'd be really shocked by their unprofessionalism. I think we'd expect a disciplinary if we went round saying it to members of the public. Wonder if the local authority staff speak to people like that?

StealthPolarBear · 04/11/2017 13:43

Yes really good point.
"my child is in hospital and I am struggling with life in general."
"get a grip"

PaintingByNumbers · 04/11/2017 13:43

2014newme, what would you.think when you later found out that wasnt the case, and that, knowing your child had been in hospital and thus missed 3 days school, that was exactly why you had got the leaflet?

2014newme · 04/11/2017 13:45

I'd think they had to give it to everyone who missed 3 days rather than them make a judgement on what was appropriate or not. Couldnt give a toss about a leaflet that does not apply to me as my child was in hdu.

PaintingByNumbers · 04/11/2017 13:48

Oh well, you are more resilient than me. I used to cry when we got these kind of letters, yet a fucking gain, while ds1 was yet again dangerously ill in hospital. It just felt like a big fuck you.

2014newme · 04/11/2017 13:49

They don't mean you if your child is in hospital ffs.

StealthPolarBear · 04/11/2017 13:49

How do you know? Common sense clearly doesn't apply here, eg hospital appointment.

PaintingByNumbers · 04/11/2017 13:49

Have chemo, time off, get bug, back in hospital. Oh cheers school, is it a get well card? Oh.no, its a fucking stupid letter about absence. Tossers.

allegretto · 04/11/2017 13:50

*They don't mean you if your child is in hospital ffs.

Well maybe they shouldn't give it to parents whose child is in hospital then.

It doesn't really matter anyway because it's just a rude, ill-thought out campaign which is insulting to parents and is likely to backfire and waste even more money.

PaintingByNumbers · 04/11/2017 13:51

And yes, I get the ffs, but you know, sometimes resilience is low and its just one more kick. 'Get a grip'is a hideous thing to say on a leaflet- at least I just got.polite letters.

corythatwas · 04/11/2017 13:54

2014newme Sat 04-Nov-17 13:37:47
"It would not bother me. If my child was in hospital I would know the leaflet was not targeted at me and think that they gave one to all families."

Would it bother you if your child was constantly coming down with strange things and there was no diagnosis and you were desperately trying to push for tests and your child still kept getting ill?

Because that was the situation we were in for many years. Easy enough to shrug and say "nothing to do with me" if you can show something definite. With my daughter's condition the average time between first symptoms and final diagnosis, according to a survey, was 10 years. That's a long time to keep shrugging.

Or if you knew what the condition was, but your doctor refused to see your child at every flare-up because the condition is basically incurable and he knew there was nothing he could do?

DJBaggySmalls · 04/11/2017 13:55

If they don't mean you they shouldn't give it to you. Its a waste of paper and ink - the parents that its aimed at aren't going to change because of a leaflet. The parents that need help need support not a leaflet.

Innocent people getting punished for the actions of the guilty breaks the social contract. It makes people stop caring and stop trying.

Closetlibrarian · 04/11/2017 14:09

We’re in E Sussex and DD got one in her bag this week. She’s reception and not been absent yet, so they clearly have distributed to all - it’s not targeted or personal. So I don’t understand why people are taking it so personally. Yes, it’s a crap leaflet (and went straight in our bin after we guffawed at it) and I wish instead of spending money to print it they spent money on supporting families who need it. But, other than that - meh... life’s too short...

Metalhead · 04/11/2017 14:14

We got one the leaflets and DD1 had 100% attendance last year, so they're clearly not targeting anyone in particular but just sticking one in every school bag.

Agree that it's a total waste of money as it won't make those who take the piss think twice, and as seen here it can offend others whose kids are genuinely ill.

luckyDuvet · 04/11/2017 14:20

Telling someone to 'get a grip' is rude.

And what the fuck does a hair grip have to do with absence?

PetalStretch · 04/11/2017 14:30

About 7 years ago, when all this kind of thing started from local authorities, my son was off school for 3 weeks, desperately ill. In fact he was so ill, I was barely functioning myself to try and look after him. I sent in all the right sick notes, letters from the hospital, and kept in touch with the school and so on. The day after his return to school I got a personal letter from the local authority with captions about legal action, imprisonment (for me in case anyone's confused), fines (about £2k at the time) and about how my son's life could be being destroyed because of lack of attendance = poor educational attainment = poor life chances. I got really distressed at the time, called the school in tears (who just said its nothing to do with us, they're automatic letters) and I remember feeling helpless, furious and distressed all at the same time.

I think social services / educational services in LA's treat parents like scum and thats the bottom line. I don't know how this new hatred and disrespect of parents has come into being over the last 10 years but its very disrespectful and unnecessary.

Clearly, what they should be doing is targeting families whose parents are allowing their children to miss school for no good reason. But that might take some effort and some work and thought - rather than mindless mass leaftleting as if parents are the Vietcom enemy or something.

JustHope · 04/11/2017 14:31

Money would be better spent on supporting the families where kids are persistently absent because they do not want to go to school for various reasons or can’t make it there for other reasons. The schools know exactly who these families are. There is a MH epidemic among young people and parents struggle to get referred. Parents in these situations are often at their wits end and do not need patronising leaflets like this. How about the council helping these parents instead?

PetalStretch · 04/11/2017 14:34

Imagine, yeah, it could have been a "Get Well" card from the school as someone earlier in thread said. Fancy getting these threats when your child has been seriously ill. Sometimes I wonder about the society we live in.

RainbowDashed · 04/11/2017 14:48

Wow that's such a crass thing to sent to the parent of such an unwell child

There is no "Poor TA" who wasn't aware of one family's circumstances in a blanket leaflet drop.. this was targeted at the family of a child who was off school due to a serious illness ffs

Arrange appointments out of school time. Hahaha. DD1's orthodontist is an hour away (nearest NHS provision, we are rural). Latest appointment is 4.30. So no chance there Confused

Signing the petition now.