Parents in East Sussex are being told to ‘Get a Grip’ via leaflet if their child is off sick for more than 3 days a term

[DingleBerries]

Will you sign the petition to stop this?

What absolutely arseholes. My friends son was admitted to hospital last week, he was in the high dependency unit and there were talks about intubating him.

This week she gets this in her DC’s book bag. Her nerves already in tatters she is told by East Sussex council to ‘Get a grip’, that other parents manage to get their kids to school and questions her ability.

Absolutely out of order, patronising, condescending and insulting.

Please sign the petition if you agree.

www.change.org/p/east-sussex-county-council-east-sussex-county-council-withdraw-the-get-a-grip-campaign-and-make-a-public-apology/w

It’s jist targeted in my children’s school then.

And all my friends kids schools as well.

Even if it was given to all parents, as someone said above it’s absolutely out of order to speak to someone like that.

If I went into the council for a problem and the staff told me to get a grip I would be offended.
So why is it ok for it to be told to all parents by the council via leaflet?

It isnt ok.

Signed and shared. I'm not sure what sort of NHS they think we have in order to provide evidence from a GP or hospital of "serious illness" or to make a medical appointment out of hours.

If one of my children is vomiting or I deem that they have a nasty cold and won't be able to participate in the curriculum effectively, I keep them off school (48 hours from last vomit). I don't take them to the GP to spread it around the potential vulnerable people in the waiting room.

My child with a medical condition has had plenty of time of school for his hospital appointments. We try to make them for the holidays but of course everyone else in paediatrics wants them then and the consultants (who have children) tend to take their holiday then too. It's just how it is. He's had months off school over six years and is achieving brilliantly. It does worry me that other parents sending their kids in with bugs jeopardises his health however.

I don't need to "get a grip" because I'm an adult who is perfectly capable of making parenting decisions.

I am under a consultant and was refused a later afternoon appt because he wanted those kept for kids as it was least disruptive for them due to school. Only if you live where I do you’d still miss loads of school for that 4pm appt as the hospital is 40 mins away in good traffic and the parking is ridiculous you can circle for 20 mins or more.

Do you still want people to sign who don't live in East Sussex?

Lemongrass I remember needing a dental appointment when I was doing freelance when I didn't get paid if I didn't work. Was a few years back. The dentist literally refused to give me one of the 5pm, end of day slots because they were reserved for schoolchildren so they didn't have to take time off. I was livid. It would be one thing if everyone had an equal shot at them but none were available, that's just one of those things, but I literally wasn't allowed one!

Do you still want people to sign it who don’t live in East Sussex?

Absolutely!!

We aren’t and won’t be the only ones with ill thought out campaigns.

I honestly thought British people were a lot more robust than the petition assumes. That it would take a lot more than an inappropriate leaflet to upset people Even when they had loads of other crap happening to upset them (like, er, bombs from war planes, threats from the IRA, rolling blackouts...)

I have also been surprised at how easily some people keep their kids off school. I see why the campaign needs to happen & needs to be firm.

Oh get lost.

Or is that rude? Not by your standards, clearly.

Its not a question of "being robust".

Its a question of respect. Basically. I'll spell that word for you. It goes R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Of course some people don't deserve respect.

But possibly. a parent looking after a very sick child, might need a smidgeon of it. Or if no respect - lets not ask for that - at least holding off on a leaflet campaign telling you you're a shit parent for having the sheer audacity to take your (very) sick child out of school?

interestingly, I suspect in the middle of WW2 blitz which I assume poster is describing, parents didn't get these shitty leaflets from schools when their child was genuinely sick.

lljkk Sat 04-Nov-17 16:09:58
"I honestly thought British people were a lot more robust than the petition assumes"

funny this

but after:

years of wondering why my child seemed to get ill much more often and far worse than other children

years of trying to get treatment or at least a diagnosis

years of being told that I was exaggerating, that I was making it up, that she was ill because in some twisted way I wanted her to be ill

then a diagnosis

then the realisation that her diagnosis wasn't actually going to change anything

the realisation that her condition was incurable

that she would probably always be in pain

that the same shitty situation with the school would continue unaltered

that she would still be told on a regular basis by teachers and friends and the parents of friends that they believed she was making it up

that she would gradually become more and more frightened of being out on her own in a world where nobody believed her

then the school refusals

and finally the suicide attemps

... I was not as robust as I might otherwise have been. But I fully accept that that may be a consequence of my not being British enough. For which I do, of course, accept full responsibility.

And if anyone should think mine is an unusual story, they need to visit the SN boards.

And for the records dd's grandmother, who did grow up during the war, was horrified at how sick children were treated in the 21st century; she said it was totally different in her day.

cory

should also have added: dd is now an adult, currently in HE after 2 years spent in a busy workplace

and has not experienced anything even remotely like what took place in her junior school

because her workplace bosses were able to tell the difference between a hard-working, conscientious worker who is occasionally ill and a piss-taker

and her (very demanding) HE programme took her on in the knowledge that she is disabled and adjustments will have to be made

she is as fine as she can be

onion exactly. I don’t work due to my condition but I also don’t drive and was trying to get a later slot to suit the person taking time off work to take me there.

Medical appointments
Arrange them outside school hours

As long as the school is willing to arrange and pay for a private appointment.

Because the NHS is on its knees which is what overweight people are always being told and cant accomodate all ill children outside of school hours.

I honestly thought British people were a lot more robust than the petition assumes. That it would take a lot more than an inappropriate leaflet to upset people Even when they had loads of other crap happening to upset them (like, er, bombs from war planes, threats from the IRA, rolling blackouts...)

Are you on glue?

It's the legend about the British, though.

Stiff Upper Lip.

The Blitz.

Centuries of Empire.

Defeated the Spanish Armada.

Churchillian resilience. We will fight them on the beaches...

All total lies. I guess.

Or a total con, not least promoted to resist the Germans.

A nice thing about MN is that it lets me think I'm tough. I mean, I'm a total wimp in real Life. But on MN, I could be SuperWoman.

This is nothing to do with education, children can and do miss months of school and still do very well. It’s only so that schools can tick boxes and attain unrealistic targets.
I will decide when my children are too sick to go to school.

or could it be, lljk, that you don't quite have an idea of how stressful it is to bring up a chronically ill child?

my MIL had survived nearly being torpedoed; she had lived through poverty and evacuation: she still thought what happened to dd was horrendous, she was still sad that her granddaughter would never have the experience of living in a healthy body

oh and btw- MIL suffered from depression by the end of the war and was on medication for it

as for PTSD (known in those days as shellshock), it first came to be known and studied after WW1 when it was discovered that a great number of ex-servicemen were incapacitated by it

Ah yes. When my transplant child starts school I shall ‘get a grip’ when she turns blue and ends up in hospital. No fucking problem. Luckily the school near me seems lovely and understanding.

You know what, if parents did keep their children off while sick, children wouldn’t be off as much because there would be less bugs going about. Schools are thick as shit considering they are there to teach. Dumb asses.

Actually this discussion brings me to one of my soapbox subjects; which is why Education policy makers attempt to make up health rules.

EG school, due to OFSTED or other similar body decrees that child must have GP letter as evidence of illness.

Meanwhile the poor beleaguered health service is campaigning for people to aviod GP surgeries for minor illnesses and to take calpol/paracetamol themselves...

DS2 has recently missed 4 days due to a sickness bug. Day 1 he appeared to be coming down with it and was clearly not well but perked up later, day 2 he seemed to have rallied and as he hadn't shown digestive symptoms, I sent him in... two hours later, digestive symptoms did show up and he was back home... then the school policy of 48 hours kicked in. As hour 47 fell at the start of day 4 school didn't want him for the entirety of day 4, so school policy meant I had a perfectly healthy and recovered child for company.

Due to the stage of the school year, his attendance figure will be poor. If I had sent him in on day 1, the attendance of the class could be much worse from him spreading the illness before the full symptoms showed. I would not appreciate a blanket leaflet saying "get a grip". He's not even of compulsory school age yet, so I doubt missing a week of Kipper, Biff and Chip and playing in the sandpit will be too detrimental to his educational outcomes.

I think my grip level is pretty good. Since starting school DS1 has formally missed one session due to a suspected fracture (which occured in class). He is fortunate not to have been affected by anything requiring absence during term time. (He kindly did the sick bug in the holidays, hence the caution for DS2.)

I know schools are horribly under pressure from above, but peeving responsible parents doing their best in whatever circumstances they've been dealt is not the answer, and it's not going to assist the few with a lackadaisical approach to education.

Absolutely buttered. And that's one of the reasons why it's so important to cause a fuss whenever a local authority or school indulges in this sort of stupidity. Obviously when they say there are no good reasons to miss school, then follow it up with good reasons, that's funny and we can all have a giggle. but the idea that sickness needs certifying by a GP, which is alluded to here, is a huge problem. Our NHS is suffering enough already. We simply can't allow further pressure to be put on it by schools and local authorities trying to get parents to get a sick note because their kid is off with the shits for a couple of days.

Exactly Buttered it doesn’t make any sense and is why I think schools are a bit thick.