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Parents in East Sussex are being told to ‘Get a Grip’ via leaflet if their child is off sick for more than 3 days a term

191 replies

DingleBerries · 04/11/2017 08:42

Will you sign the petition to stop this?

What absolutely arseholes. My friends son was admitted to hospital last week, he was in the high dependency unit and there were talks about intubating him.

This week she gets this in her DC’s book bag. Her nerves already in tatters she is told by East Sussex council to ‘Get a grip’, that other parents manage to get their kids to school and questions her ability.

Absolutely out of order, patronising, condescending and insulting.

Please sign the petition if you agree.

www.change.org/p/east-sussex-county-council-east-sussex-county-council-withdraw-the-get-a-grip-campaign-and-make-a-public-apology/w

OP posts:
cansu · 04/11/2017 09:35

What a ridiculous leaflet. How this tallies with most school's insistence that children must be clear of vomiting or diarrhoea for 48 hours before returning is anyone's guess. Most illnesses do last around three days eg flu, throat infection, chest infection, ear infection if not longer. Kids with a temperature and feeling unwell can't manage in school and are probably passing on virus to teachers and other students. They have done a great job with this leaflet in alienating most parents. Just weird!

Goshthatwentwell · 04/11/2017 09:35

If this is what a mass leaflet does can you imagine what some poor TA will get for mistakenly putting in the " wrong" book bag or some teacher handing it out not realising a sibling is ill.
Are people seriously expecting staff to work out which parents will or won't be upset by a leaflet before handing it out ?

DingleBerries · 04/11/2017 09:35

FWIW the attendance for our school is 97.something % overall.

Surely that’s not needing this leaflet?!

OP posts:
DingleBerries · 04/11/2017 09:37

“Poor TA”?

Really? You have sympathy for the TA but the parents should like the leaflet?

OP posts:
GherkinSnatch · 04/11/2017 09:38

I dunno. It's a poorly thought out campaign but some parents DO need to get a grip. I know someone who takes her DS's temperature every morning and night, and if it ever strays above 37.3 she's on alert to call 111 or make a GP appointment.

Goshthatwentwell · 04/11/2017 09:40

Dingle ?
Why do you think the attendance levels are so then in East Sussex? I don't know the area, you tell me.

Goshthatwentwell · 04/11/2017 09:40

Dingle ?
Why do you think the attendance levels are so then in East Sussex? I don't know the area, you tell me.

Creamswirls · 04/11/2017 09:40

Why have they used a hair grip? Confused

Butteredparsn1ps · 04/11/2017 09:43

It’s annoying and poorly thought out, and probably pointless.

Making a huge generalisation, the parents the campaign is targeted towards, are probably the parents least likely to change their behaviour as a result of a leaflet.

But, it’s not aimed at you or your friend OP. File it in the bin and move on.

Hope your friend’s DC is feeling better Flowers

Farontothemaddingcrowd · 04/11/2017 09:43

Dd1 has 93% attendance because she had two days off with a vomiting bug and high temperature. She won't have 93% attendance by the end of the year. School would not have been impressed with me if I'd sent her in to vomit over everyone.

Goshthatwentwell · 04/11/2017 09:45

Yes. Why should a TA have to remember the ins and out of every family before giving out a leaflet that might apparently have an effect on mental health. Once you start being selective you really run the risk of offending someone when you get it wrong.

WellThisIsShit · 04/11/2017 09:46

It’s an ongoing problem that you often see on here.

Parents with really poorly children are being told that the letters that are specifically sent to them, are letters that don’t apply so they should ignore them.

Surely the answer is that the letters shouldn’t be routinely sent to parents who have extremely good reasons for the non-attendance? And evidence to back this up.

It’s not good enough that councils and schools can somehow work out how to target families with attendance below the accepted levels (the accepted levels assuming the child isn’t seriously ill!), and yet somehow can’t work out how to not send them to families who have real health worries to be focusing on.

I don’t think it’s good enough to just have to suck it up, at times when people are already extremely worried and going through hell with their ill child.

It’s lazy, it’s arrogant and it stinks. Expectations and tolerance really needs to change around this issue, I think.

Parentsshould expect to be treated with respect and compassion, and we should be giving head teachers and attendance officers the ability to make expectations. It’s respecting these professionals too, not just imposing a blanket rule and ‘automatically triggered letter’ as if professionals cannot assess a situation they see all the time. The idea that because letters are ‘automatically triggered’ that somehow makes it ok, well, I feel like it’s a way to excuse a system that deliberately ignores the reality for a significant proportion of families. The thresholds for triggering letters was set by humans. The criteria and codes were set and entered by humans. The system can absolutely be changed, if those that endorse the system decide that change is unnecessary.

Well, that’s my rant :) not aimed at Mumsnetters at all, aimed at policy makers, who believe it’s acceptable to make families lives worse at a time when they are already stretched to the limit.

Some children will be ill, seriously ill and / or chronically ill. This isn’t something that is surprising, or unforeseen. It’s a basic fact of life. There will be population stats on this (or there certainly should be!). To pretend that serious and long term health condition simply don’t happen, well, it’s bizarre. Perhaps policy makers believe that ill kids don’t exist? Or that children shouldn’t be able to access healthcare at all? And just suck it up... that parents can simply tell their child to stop whining and shrug it off. Shrug off serious and life threatening illnesses that need to be managed carefully or damage that child’s health more. Humm. I bet these people aren’t shrugging off their own health care and medical needs.

And to deliberately put these families into the same punitative system as children truanting, and families who don’t see the value in their kids being educated, without any way of differentiating, is disgusting. And unnecessary.

CamperVamp · 04/11/2017 09:54

It is an idiotic, badly thought out leaflet.

As a parent of a child who is in and out of hospital and once had a whole term off I just roll my eyes and think ‘I am not the target audience, anyway’.

I am confident in my own parenting choices, send my kids to school rather than keep them off when in doubt, have never taken them out for holidays or their or mine birthday ....

An eye roll is enough reaction for me.

CamperVamp · 04/11/2017 09:55

I am more annoyed at the attendance awards, that many children by definition of being disabled, can never get.

52FestiveRoad · 04/11/2017 09:57

Wellthisisshit Abso-fucking-lutely. Agree with all you have said.

oklookingahead · 04/11/2017 10:04

would be interesting to know whether anyone has ever been persuaded to change their minds or behaviour by being told to 'get a grip'?

I only ever see the phrase on mn, but assumed it was not a rhetorical device intended to convince, but a way of expressing dismissive disregard for that person's point of view. Am I wrong - do people use it thinking that they will change the other person's mind?

Haven't read the pamphlet but puzzled by the fact that only religious festivals and serious illness are good reasons to miss school. For starters: bereavement? (or am I being pedantic and that goes into the serious illness box? )

Goshthatwentwell · 04/11/2017 10:04

So how do you decide which children are ill enough for their family to not get a letter? How long do they have to be out of hospital for it to be OK to send one?
Or not send a leaflet out and do what to improve attendance?

DistaffSide · 04/11/2017 10:08

FFS, people that are ill, whether adult or child should be bloody encouraged not to spread their germs around. We live in a culture where taking time off sick is completely discouraged and it's ridiculous. I've heard of people going to work with diarrhoea because a company pays a cash reward to teams who have a no absence record.

If children go to school with colds as that leaflet suggests, there are lots of vulnerable groups, pregnant mums, elderly grandparents, small babies and children that are being exposed .

I'm hugely unimpressed when anyone at work comes in with a cold. We do work that can easily be done at home. But no, they turn up, snotty and hacking away, in some bloody show of heroic presenteeism. One by one everyone else gets ill and productivity across the office goes right down. My manager's wife is hospitalised every time she catches anything going around that affects respiration, so he's never impressed at people coughing over him in a small office.

Get a grip, keep your disgusting, ill self at home Grin

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 04/11/2017 10:15

Ive never heard anything like it.

One minute people are being told by the NHS to stop spreading germs, to not to into work, coughing and sneezing. Then DC are being told there's no good reason for being off.

Bunch of idiots!

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/11/2017 10:17

Very poorly thought out. What if the parent is suffering from mental health problems? The last thing they need to be told is to get a grip.

It’s just another box ticking, paper pushing exercise.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/11/2017 10:18

So glad our LA are not like this, I have definitely signed.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/11/2017 10:20

Perhaps we should send one to dds teacher. She was absent 4/5 days during the first Half term of this school year.

grasspigeons · 04/11/2017 10:35

I hope our LA doesn't see this and think it's a good idea.

I can see all sides of the illness debate.

There are some children who are too ill to be in school and sensible parents keep them off.

There are some children too ill to be in school who get sent in anyway and this leaflet will increase this.

There are some children are not ill (or other legitimate reason) and not in school. I don't think a leaflet will change behaviour in this group but this is the target group!

Ktown · 04/11/2017 10:39

The leaflet isn’t for people like you who care about their kids and take them for valid hospital appointments.
It is for people who don’t care and need reminding.
Lots of kids are neglected and set terrible examples, they won’t be able to stick to jobs because they haven’t seen their parents stick at something.
Being in school is probably the only good thing for them.

Peeetle · 04/11/2017 10:53

I’d find it hilarious if I received a leaflet like this. Think it shows that copywriting is best left to professionals.

This made me laugh out loud:

They’re called a “kirby” where I’m from. That leaflet cover would confuse most people here.