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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be finding it hard having husband at home all day ?

107 replies

Inkandbone · 03/11/2017 21:37

I probably am BU. But he does my head in.

He won't stay still. Constant prowling around and clearing up after me even if it's something I'm using Hmm throwing away drinks I haven't finished drinking, putting cardigans I've just taken off coz I'm hot into the wash. Talking to himself but me really, so a monologue of what's going on and then expecting a reaction from me. I can't do anything without him asking me questions.

I know it's partly irritation from being underneath each others feet but is this what i have to look forward go in my dotage?

OP posts:
bluebells1 · 03/11/2017 21:54

Ugh! Mine is the same, especially during the weekends. I hate the weekends. I love mondays when it is just the dog and me.

Original poster
Inkandbone · 03/11/2017 22:03

I need to get him back to work.

OP posts:
cheminotte · 03/11/2017 22:05

Yanbu. I find Christmas hard because of this and am happy to get back to work.

ijustwannadance · 03/11/2017 22:11

Tell him to stop doing it.

Original poster
Inkandbone · 03/11/2017 22:12

Well, yes! That would be great advice if he ever listened!

OP posts:
cailisto · 03/11/2017 22:14

Yes! Mine works at home (didn’t use to) and does my head in. He’s so fucking annoying but what really winds me up is that he sees through anything/everything in the house that needs to be done. When I work from Home, if I’m going downstairs to get a drink I’ll take the washing down at the same time and put it in the machine. That kind of thing.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 03/11/2017 22:17

That would piss me off too.

What's happened that means he's at home more than usual? Is it likely to be for long?

Original poster
Inkandbone · 03/11/2017 22:22

He is signed off and I really hope it won't be for much longer as I cannot cope.

It also makes me sad in a way. I used to love spending time with him.

OP posts:
Muchtoomuchtodo · 03/11/2017 22:51

You could be me.

While DH was off work after having an operation a coupe of years ago I worked as much as I could to avoid being at home with him.

I delegated some jobs that had mysteriously become something that only I could do since having dc (meal planning, online food shop, organising cards and presents for his side of the family) and I have never taken them back!

We're not the closest of couples though (huge understatement) so I may not be the best to advise!

CupanTaeAnois · 03/11/2017 22:57

Mine drives me nuts as well. Constantly finding jobs to do and jobs taking much longer than he expected.

LostForNow · 03/11/2017 23:11

Why don't you go to work while he's not?

oldlaundbooth · 03/11/2017 23:21

This is why mine works full time.

rachelandmike77 · 03/11/2017 23:21

Oh noSad sounds v annoying. Hate when they can’t leave you in peace or are just constantly hovering around. YANBU, everyone needs their space

What does he say when you say you’re still drinking/using whatever he’s tidying up?

How would he react if you’d asked to be left alone for a few hours while you catch up on work etc?

Ladybirdbookworm · 03/11/2017 23:24

Aw Gaad I hate when my husband has an 'admin day' they are few and far between and I know he needs to catch up on his paperwork but he's just in my face and I feel like like I'm creeping around , trying not to disturb him .....and it means I feel like I have to look like I'm busy being housewife of the year when I'd rather be watching bargain hunt

chocafrolic · 03/11/2017 23:25

This is why I went back to work after being a SAHM for years. He drove me absolutely nuts!! Grin

MoodyMumOfOne · 03/11/2017 23:30

Sorry but laughing at some of these posts as I can identify with what is being said! I often manage to develop a migraine so I can hide in bed for a bit... with MN for company of courseWink

justilou1 · 03/11/2017 23:42

I'm hearing you, Lady! Mine is has been off work for a month now. If nothing new comes up soon, I shall be getting snappy.

Original poster
Inkandbone · 04/11/2017 06:30

lost, I'm mostly a SAHM. I do bits of supply work but its v thin on the ground.

OP posts:
RefuseTheLies · 04/11/2017 06:39

My DH works from home one day a week. He started doing it when we had newborn DD so that he could do some of the childcare and I could catch up on sleep. I was very grateful at the time.

DD is now 2 y/o and DH still wfh one day per week and it is the worst day of my entire week because I'm toddler wrangling and DH is constantly trying to tidy up the toys DD is playing with, and tutting about toast crumbs Confused

It drives me mad. If I leave a cup unattended for more than 30 seconds, the contents have been tipped down the sink and the cup is in the dishwasher.

InspMorse · 04/11/2017 07:07

Hmm. I'm torn OP. He's signed off work so obviously needs to be at home.
The examples you give aren't exactly massive issues - if you had said he marches round the house ranting & picking arguments, I'd get it completely.
However, it sounds like he's just faffing around disturbing your indulgent peace & quiet.
This would also do my head it because I'm a selfish cow but I think if my DH was signed off sick I'd have to just put up with it or go out more often.

ElinoristhenewEnid · 04/11/2017 07:44

My dh has been at full time home since 1991. I love the occasional day when someone takes him out for a few hours and i am all by myself😁Star

DameDaffodil · 04/11/2017 07:51

Argh, mine works from home too. Just knowing he's there in another room drives me crazy. I'm always casually asking when he has to go somewhere for a meeting so I can enjoy a day without him. Apparently there's nothing this side of Christmas that he needs to go to! Heeelllpppp! Shock

Ropsleybunny · 04/11/2017 07:52

You have to make him bloody listen to you, don’t be such a doormat.

whoareyoukidding · 04/11/2017 07:53

Mine is the same when he's at home: following me around and interfering with what I'm doing, but at the same time not doing anything useful.

whoareyoukidding · 04/11/2017 07:56

His presence completely ruins it when I'm trying to watch 'say yes to the dress'.