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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 year old and TV in room...

164 replies

Grimbles · 03/11/2017 21:35

Short and sweet!

AIBU to allow 5yr old DS to watch TV in his room when he wakes up at sparrows at the weekend?

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 03/11/2017 23:00

I think the objection to tvs in rooms is mainly about the bad habits it sets up of watching tv separately to your family. This is particularly an issue at bedtime. If you wanted them to watch cbeebies for half an hour in the morning and the rest of the time they had no access to a tv so couldnt watch it that would be fine but are you actually going to take the tv out of their room every night and put it back before morning? A 5 year old will know how to use it if its there. Also even in the morning there are programmes that aren't necessaroly age appropriate and how can you monitor the viewing of those? I know some peole have sajd dvds but i woildnt want my 5 year old sending his/herself to sleep at night by watching dvds.

Aureservoir · 03/11/2017 23:01

I wouldn't. At that age, mine woke up horribly early. However, they had clocks and knew they could come in to our room when the hands were at 7 o'clock. Until then, they could play quietly in their rooms. I don't think there was much deviation from this, unless they were ill. But we didn't watch TV when they were small. The youngest (14) does now, on her phone, but the older ones are not bothered.

Zaphodsotherhead · 03/11/2017 23:02

What is to stop your child turning the TV on at 1am if they can't sleep? Never underestimate how sneaky a child can be (especially if the know they are doing something they aren't allowed to do), and, perhaps, seeing something they don't know how to cope with.

GetYourRocksOff · 03/11/2017 23:06

Ach, you do whatever you need to get you through and if that means an hour of peppa fucking pig in the room before you're dragged out of bed for the day then so be it!

RedastheRose · 03/11/2017 23:11

Neither of mine had TVs in their rooms at age 5 but they both could get themselves downstairs and put the tv on and I was happy with that so I really don't think it matters. My eldest used to get herself up go downstairs (climbing over the gate) and put her favourite videos in. My youngest could put in dvds at that age. When kids gets up at ridiculous o'clock it really doesn't matter so long as they are safe. Always hid they keys to get outside 😄

Floralnomad · 03/11/2017 23:16

zaphods , not something we ever had a problem with and the TV is not taboo nor did it hold any fascination for them mainly because it was always there . To me it’s the same as dc who start smoking sneakily , in our house , as in my parents house if you wanted to smoke at 14 just ask and we will buy cigarettes for you , hence non of my siblings or me have ever smoked and nor have either of my dc . Some of us bring our dc up differently , it doesn’t make it wrong .

RainyApril · 04/11/2017 07:52

I also don't see the difference between watching tv in bed at 6am and watching it downstairs on the sofa, except they're a bit safer tucked up in bed than they are roaming the house.

They do not become antisocial and obese simply by having a tv in their room, and drilling down into the detail of those studies will tell you that.

Presumably people who give their dc iPads don't anticipate them becoming those slack-jawed teens who can't eat in a restaurant without their tablet or phone, because you put rules about use in place.

You have to have rules because you don't want it on at bedtime or in the middle of the night, just like dc have to abide by rules in many other areas of their life.

Eolian · 04/11/2017 07:58

Nope. Never had a tv in my bedroom, dc won't either. He's 5 - you don't need to be able to give an argument for why not.

MistressPage · 04/11/2017 08:11

Crumbs1 I love that you put OU Maths on the iPad Smile
I do the iPad in my bed at 5am if my 2 yr old wakes up but he gets Blippi or Pocoyo or some such nonsense... I feel like I need to step up!

MistressPage · 04/11/2017 08:13

FloralNomad you are speaking my language!

Notreallyarsed · 04/11/2017 08:14

How can you possibly censure what he watches if it is in his room?

In our house, any channels bar the kids channels and F1 channel are pin coded on the V6 box or now tv box. And we’ve had the adult channels removed from every box in the house so they don’t even appear on the lists.

TheFirstMrsDV · 04/11/2017 08:18

All my kids have had tvs in their rooms from a young age.
Incredibly they were not allowed unfettered access to their tvs or the one in the front room.
They all had to ask permission to turn the tv on and all of them have done so apart from one.
He has ASD and is a different kettle of fish. We solved that by removing the remote so he had to ask for that.

All of mine would rather watch tv downstairs than in their room.
I have found that they are more like to play and read whilst watching tv in their rooms than downstairs. They tend to do that blank faced transfixed thing downstairs.

Watching a bit of television in the early morning will not damage development. It won't.

Too much tv at too young an age can delay communication. But what people need to understand is that it is NOT the TV that causes issues but they lack of interaction from caregivers

So stick your kid in front of the tv and ignore them for hours = very bad
Let your kid watch cartoons for an hour to save your sanity = fine, don't worry.

BTW you can delete channels from tvs now. A child's tv can be deleted down to Cbeebies if you want.

TheFirstMrsDV · 04/11/2017 08:19

How can you possibly censure what he watches if it is in his room?
Pick up the remote
Go to menu
Work your way through channels deleting as you go.

Ktown · 04/11/2017 08:21

It isn't good to have a child used to watching to in their room. It starts bad habits.
No one is saying tv is bad but surely it isn't good for a child to have easy TV access at night and most of the day.

TheFirstMrsDV · 04/11/2017 08:21

What is to stop your child turning the TV on at 1am if they can't sleep

Rules and consequences and the lack of anything to watch on the channels you have left on their tv.

Rach5l · 04/11/2017 08:24

No only because you’d be setting a precedent for the future.

I’ve got very early risers, they come in my bed (where there’s a tv Blush) and I stick on something gentle something I can snooze through like postman pat.

I’m sure I read somewhere kids with TVs in their room do worse at school?

TheFirstMrsDV · 04/11/2017 08:25

KTown what bad habits and why?
Why do so many people thing tv in a room = hands off parenting?

There is a tv in my kid's rooms right now. No one is watching tv. They won't turn it on without permission and they won't be given permission unless appropriate.

I don't know why I am bothering. TV in rooms is like disabled parking, toilets and bottle/breast threads. Same stuff on a different day.

Oly5 · 04/11/2017 08:26

No tv in a 5yo bedroom but we do let our dc go downstairs early and switch the one on there

Boulshired · 04/11/2017 08:34

I really cannot get my head around the “no but they go downstairs” argument. It the same thing unless you are with them. If my child is old enough to go downstairs they are old enough to know the rules on usage if they had one in their room.

Storminateacup74 · 04/11/2017 08:36

I have a 11yr old and a 9yr old who have only ever started watching tv mainly you tube actually within the last 2 years. This wasn't through want of trying though in my part.. They have still never watched a whole film or DVD though. They love being with me (too much) and they would rather follow me around aimlessly chatting and not shutting up than watch tv. My eldest now has a phone so i get a bit of peace. But they have to started to argue over who has the main tv to watch you tube. My threat is if they keep on arguing they will have to both have a tv in their room. This stops the arguing instantly - my dd would be mortified if she had to watch tv all onnhernown. She is 11 so I am hoping soon she likes the idea but at the moment no. Help I need my me time. My SIL can't get her 10 yr old dd out of her room and I can't mine in!!

Rachie1986 · 04/11/2017 08:43

What about an Kindle fire with child set up so he can only access cbeebies app (or similar) that you give him when he wakes up?

Frouby · 04/11/2017 08:53

Meh I can't get excited about screen times or tvs or what age you allow access.

Dd is 13. Had a tv in her room from about 4. Used to go and watch dvds on a saturday afternoon if we had sport on the main tv. She now has a smart tv and has access to anything that is available online. She rarely uses it. Has never gamed. Doesnt sit and watch tv obsessively. Is social, doing very well at school yada yada yada.

Ds is 4 in a few weeks. He has a tv in his room. Likes to have it on watching cbeebies or nick jnr while I potter around upstairs. Has recently started asking for it on when he goes up to bed at 7pm. It goes on for 30 mins and then I turn it off.

He is also outgoing and social, rarely watches tv during the day. We are out more than we are in and when we are in he is happier playing than watching tv.

StinkPickle · 04/11/2017 08:55

I just let my 5 year old play with his toys if he wakes up before 7 Confused

Why would you need a tv? Children are meant to play!

ProfessorCat · 04/11/2017 08:56

DD has has a TV in her room since she was 3. It's not connected to an aeriel so all she can do is watch DVDs on it and stream to her chromecast from kids Netflix.

She's allowed it on for an hour or so in the evening and only on three nights a week. It has a timer to turn it off after the hour. She wouldn't dare turn it back on because she knows it would be removed.

She's 9 now and it's certainly done her no harm. As long as it's policed, I really don't know why it would. I watched a lot more TV as a child and I was an 80s kid with plenty of outdoor time.

Tealdeal747 · 04/11/2017 08:58

People get such knickers in a twist over this.

Screen time is screen time regardless of location.

It shouldn't be more than 2 hours a day.

It doesn't matter what room it's in!