Breast milk is the best thing for your baby...

[Starwhisperer]

Please hear me out on this one.

I know that advertising regulations are in line with the WHO advice that breast milk is the best thing for a baby until at least 6 months of age.

My issue is with the specifics in what we see and read as soon to be and new mothers.

I combi fed my first child for 18m as my supply never seemed to be where I needed it to be. The first 2 months were a hellish cycle of pumping and formula milk. I firmly believe the failure to feed as I'd wanted led to my PND. I met other mothers struggling at the time who felt the same way and there has been research done which has confirmed this.

Everytime I formula fed my baby there in front of me was the message "breast milk is the best thing for your baby". Am I being unreasonable to think that this would do more harm than good. I know it made me feel rotten. I'd have thought that by the time a mother is preparing and giving formula feeds it's generally too late to be converted to the idea of BFing. The message is either going to women entirely happy with their decision to FF or women like me who see it as a kick in the teeth because they tried their hardest and didn't get the hang of it.

I feel that instead more effort should be put in before birth to get the facts out there, all i had was ony little leaflet with no opportunity promoted to ask aboit tjings in more detail. Perhaps a blanket ban on formula advertising. They use babies as close to 6m as possible for the pictures which does far more in the way of promoting FF than a little message promoting BF on a box.

Perhaps I'm getting my knickers in a twist over nothing bit I feel the formula manufacturers are doing way more harm than good here.

if you had a bottle of breast milk and a bottle of formula, the breast milk is better for the baby. that’s what it means

it’s not about if the baby can’t latch or low supply. i understand there are issues and it’s not easy - or even possible - for some but if you think of it as 2 bottles, it’s right

For society as a whole, breastfeeding is best for babies. It's literally the only food made specifically for babies. Formula is a good approximation, but it's synthetic.
HOWEVER for many babies, circumstances dictate that they need formula some or all of the time. There are far less cases of failure to thrive etc since formula has been widely used.
I desperately wanted to exclusively BF both my daughters, but that hasn't been the case.
DD1 was prem, I was in ITU and couldn't start to express for the first 36 hours. She had to have formula until I could produce enough milk for her.
DD2 has congenital heart disease and struggles to gain weight. She is mix fed to get more calories into her. She is also allergic to cows milk so has hypoallergenic formula. This formula is only available on prescription in the UK, it still says "breast is best" on the tin. It was a massive thing for me to accept DD2 had to be given formula, I felt I had failed as a mother. I felt worthless as my milk wasn't enough for her. The last thing I needed was a bloody tin of milk reminding me that breast milk was supposed to be the best thing for her!
Language is powerful, and a new mother is incredibly vulnerable. Of course words on a tin are going to hurt when you've struggled to BF but it isn't working, you're up making formula in the night so sleep deprived etc.

@NamesNamesandmoreNames, of course breastmilk is best for a premature baby who can't suck yet. Prem babies given breastmilk have better outcomes.

Even though those posters would have talked about reducing the risk of things like cancer/cot death, the message being received is much more black and white. So, pointless to have posters and leaflets.
Just take that money and spend it on breastfeeding support where it's needed. Midwives can always speak to women about breastfeeding if they ask about it.

I had a horrendous time after DC was born. 6 weeks of tears and insecurities.

I do realise though that the world doesn’t revolve around me and there are some issues which are just as important as the plight of new mothers.

The WHO has a massive responsibility to get this message out because it literally saves lives and must be expressed consistently whether it makes people feel guilty or not.

In this country amongst the middle classes with clean houses then truth be told it probably makes not one blind but if difference but in other countries and in other demographics it does.

For me, it's not so much the wording on the cartons, I know that's the legal requirement, but it's the whole 'breast is best' message and the entire way it is handled. The wording on the cartons and in the adverts then becomes part of that bigger 'breast is best' campaign and the campaign itself is a very damaging one.

To give an example of my point in terms of how it is being handled - I had my DS in 2010. I had always intended to BF, had researched it, planned it and expected it to be ok. What I didn't expect was what actually happened:

• failure to feed well in the first 24 hrs (in hospital) resulting in a midwife 'milking' me and causing pain from the very outset by repeatedly rubbing hard plastic against my nipples, breaking the top layer of skin
• significant pain in feeding from that moment onwards
• my baby basically sucking the skin off of my nipples, blood pooling at the end of my nipples and being in agony
• I reached out for help, received a patronising lecture from a midwife who arrogantly 'showed' me a correct latch, which was precisely what I'd been doing and was still agony
• I was terrified of each feed and couldn't sleep even for the hour/half an hour of quiet I might get at a time because I was so afraid of when I would next have to feed and face the pain
• PND, constant crying, completely inconsolable 24/7 - all because of feeding
• by day 14 my H snapped in the early hours of the morning, drove to a shop and bought bottles and formula
• the next morning I was inconsolable when the midwifes asked me if I was still BF. I cried and cried, I told them how much I was struggling, hurting, bleeding, had failed at getting good support and how badly it was affecting me, all through continued sobs. And the two of them stood there stony faced, pumping the 'breast is best' message, ignoring what I was actually saying until I agreed to continue BF (which I was never going to do at that point, I just agreed to make them go away).

As soon as I switched to FF, and I started to heal physically, I became much calmer and was so much better able to cope. Now the whole thing might have been better had I had good support, but the 'support' the NHS was offering was not in the slightest bit good enough.

To this day, I have nothing but contempt for the NHS 'breast is best' campaign. They're not doing it right.

I'm pregnant again now with no.2 and I'm definitely going to do my best to BF, but if it starts to affect me as badly again I will be standing up for myself and doing whatever is best for me and my family.

Ah you see I actually think posters informing people that breastfeeding reduces the risk of cot death etc are more helpful. I think the wording "reduces the risk" is a lot better than just saying one option is the best and that's that. It didn't help with my anxiety at the time but I think it's a better way of putting it.

And the message needs to be out there that it is a skill, it can be difficult to learn and needs practice, milk needs time to come in after birth, baby will not starve during the wait, feeding is likely to involve pain at first, more milk is produced by more feeding, the whole thing needs support from family and sometimes from a professional to get the latch right.

This message is out there, it's coming at every new mother from every direction, don't worry. This message is part of the problem imo and ime (3 dc).

Probably, but the amount of women who are skeptics about accepting medical advice or think their own mums etc know best is probably higher

But that is their choice? It would take 1 minute to google or ask your midwife if you wanted to know. I’ve seen lots of women on here say their PND was probably down to/highly influenced by the pressure to BF. My midwife told me she wasn’t allowed to advise me on formula when I asked if my miserable, underweight baby could maybe do with a bottle of formula. So I had to see a paediatrician who told me that yes, my baby absolutely needed formula. How ridiculous is that?

the breast is best label on the formula was incredibly helpful for me. I was able to go to the supermarket with people who felt like ebf was damaging my baby and point out that even aptamil agree with me. a lot of people still believe formula is superior, the label is targeted at them. sorry you had pnd xx

Okay Harland so by that logic you can choose how you take the info on the tin. Obviously it’s a persons choice to do what they will with given information.

The WHO and the government have a responsibility to convey a consistent message.

a lot of people still believe formula is superior, the label is targeted at them

Who are these people? Presumably not new mothers themselves as they'd have been to see the midwife and gotten the message that way.

Your friends and family could have found that info all over the place though. A quick look on Google at an nhs site would have probably been easier than taking everyone off to the supermarket?

panic no, but that's how it made me feel. I would have bfd her for as long as she wanted, but she went from the 75th centile to the 9th. The best thing for her was formula because she couldn't suck. I bfd DS2 until he was 23 months. He never had formula.

The WHO and the government have a responsibility to convey a consistent message.

That's absolutely nonsensical when ...

A) the message on formula tins is highly unlikely to influence breast feeding rates (that horse has bolted)

B) it is clearly contributing to PND

The NHS does, however, have a responsibility to practically support a message that it has spent so much money advertising.

To simply yell 'breast is best' everywhere without any thought to whether the message is still needed, whether it (in itself) achieves the stated aim, whether there are any negative consequences of the message is the most unsophisticated, useless marketing in the world - what a five year old might do.

a lot of people still believe formula is superior, the label is targeted at them

But formula is superior to sticking sugar into water or feeding baby condensed/ normal cows milk/ milky tea. The only 1 thing that is superior to formula for a baby is breastmilk.

The thing is that MN is so MC that it assumes that all babies are fed properly using the correct milk by good parents. Sadly that won't always be the case and some will people buy crack and then feed the baby whatever stops them screaming

I’m sorry everyone feels bad when they look at the formula and it says Breast is best. Yeah let’s remove it.

I feel bad when I see that some kids go to a better school than mine so shut them down.

It upsets me to see bad stuff on the news do don’t show it.

We should really be focusing on more adequate post natal maternal care.

@Harland you've jogged my memory on a good point. When I did switch to FF, DS did not get on well with the brand we were using at all, it really upset his tummy but as a first time mum I honestly did not know why - I didn't know it was the brand of formula. Despite the fact that it was making him UNWELL, my midwife would not discuss formula at all with me so would not help.
I had to try and guess on my own as a first time mum what the problem was and eventually tried a new formula, but I could have saved him a lot of pain and unhappiness had I been given the right help.

panic do you care about PND rates? You don't sound like you do.

Nonsensical 😂

No what is nonsensical is conflating two issues

1. Breastfeeding being a healthier option for baby

1. PND

Not always connected and most often two entirely separate things.

Not all women get PND because of breastfeeding.

The WHO have a responsibility to protect little babies and also mothers. The breastfeeding message is part of protecting the babies.

People seem to be confusing feeling a bit sad with genuine mental health problems but I guess that's a whole other issue in this country.

Of course I do but I didn’t realise I had to pick one thing above all else to care about?

I am sorry you failed at bfing

Oh do fuck off love. Not being able to BF is NOT a failure. It's just a fact. Some women can, some can't and those who can't don't need sneery fuckers like you passing judgement.

And just how does it sound like I don’t care exactly?

I'm not conflating that at all panic. I happen to totally agree that breast is best for babies.

However, I think putting the message on formula tins is totally counterproductive, doesn't impact breastfeeding rates and has an impact on new mother's mental health.

Good marketing is sophisticated and clever. Not blunt and unthinking.