Breast milk is the best thing for your baby...

[Starwhisperer]

Please hear me out on this one.

I know that advertising regulations are in line with the WHO advice that breast milk is the best thing for a baby until at least 6 months of age.

My issue is with the specifics in what we see and read as soon to be and new mothers.

I combi fed my first child for 18m as my supply never seemed to be where I needed it to be. The first 2 months were a hellish cycle of pumping and formula milk. I firmly believe the failure to feed as I'd wanted led to my PND. I met other mothers struggling at the time who felt the same way and there has been research done which has confirmed this.

Everytime I formula fed my baby there in front of me was the message "breast milk is the best thing for your baby". Am I being unreasonable to think that this would do more harm than good. I know it made me feel rotten. I'd have thought that by the time a mother is preparing and giving formula feeds it's generally too late to be converted to the idea of BFing. The message is either going to women entirely happy with their decision to FF or women like me who see it as a kick in the teeth because they tried their hardest and didn't get the hang of it.

I feel that instead more effort should be put in before birth to get the facts out there, all i had was ony little leaflet with no opportunity promoted to ask aboit tjings in more detail. Perhaps a blanket ban on formula advertising. They use babies as close to 6m as possible for the pictures which does far more in the way of promoting FF than a little message promoting BF on a box.

Perhaps I'm getting my knickers in a twist over nothing bit I feel the formula manufacturers are doing way more harm than good here.

Like many on this thread, I had a miserable time while my premature twins were in NICU. I pumped like a demon for five weeks, trying to produce milk for them because I wanted to do “the best”. Skin to skin, oats, domperidrone tablets, cluster pumping, tandem pumping. Nothing bloody worked and I never produced more than 20mls of milk. Without formula my babies would have died yet I still felt very guilty about giving it to them, due to the whole “breast is best” thing.

We need a massive rethink on breastfeeding advice in this country. More practical support, less preaching, and to end the myth that “all women can do it”. Some of us just can’t.

But lots of other parenting choices are better. Do we need warnings for everything?

I don't think it matters. Yes most healthcare professionals will push the breast is best, and will be judgemental if you don't breastfeed.
I chose to not even try it. I didn't want to and I knew I didn't. Thankfully my midwife who delivered my baby wasn't judgemental at all, neither was my health visitor. But the breast is best push didn't bother me. I knew I didn't want to so I didn't, end of.

dsmummy everyone agrees that bf should be promoted. The point that has been made time and time again on this thread is that printing BIB on formula is pretty useless as a means of encouraging breastfeeding.

The people it gets through to are those who wanted to it couldn't and are this reminded that they 'failed' (though obviously they didn't) every time they make up a bottle.

Well this is it ironing, why are we so obsessed with breastfeeding? I suggest it's for 2 reasons:

1. Because women have to do it and men can't so it's a nice, convenient thing to bang on about.
2. Exercise/ healthy eating etc have a noticeable effect at individual level. Breastfeeding although it is better at population level has less of an effect than most would expect and won't be noticeable for individuals. So we need to be constantly 'reminded' how it is better than formula. But it isn't really going to work because people look at the evidence in front of them first generally which is likely to be themselves/ their own DC's. This leads to people constantly having to justify why it's important to themselves as well as others. I think sometimes people who breastfed and invested time in it are disappointed that they know bottle fed children who are cleverer/ slimmer etc than theirs are at individual level. Of course most people don't think like that but it only takes a tiny tiny minority and I personally know 1 IRL..... Of course amongst lots of mums who I have no idea whether they breastfed or not. But it just contributes to the whole thing getting irrational and fucked up. The small effects probably are down to it being a short period of time, but I think it's remarkable that its possible to raise healthy babies from tinned powder personally.

It should be pretty simple - Breastmilk is healthier than formula and is the normal, natural way to feed.... Let's do all we can to help you feed your baby in the best way for you. Sometimes on an individual level for whatever reason it's formula and in which case let's make sure you know how important proper sterilisation is. But instead we try and shame women into Breastfeeding via health warnings... ah I'm back to point 1 now.

I'm sick of hearing stuff like 'breastfeeding makes children more intelligent'. A cohort study this year in Pediatrics, a high impact factor journal, showed that once socio-economic factors were accounted for, 'There was no difference in breastfed and not-breastfed children's cognitive abilities at three or five.

I'm a research scientist (PhD biological chemistry) and am entirely happy with my decision of combined feeding until 2 months and exclusive formula thereafter. I've been lectured numerous times about the errors of my choice by people with little to no grasp/understanding of statistics and scientific data and I just laugh.

I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant with my second, and after the colostrum is finished, I'll move to combi-feeding again and then onto formula.

There are many more pressing issues facing the UK than whether women bottle or breast-feed their babies.

Delta g if you are happy then why goes hearing that annoy you? And the study you are referring doesn't look at exclusively breastfed kids but classes mixed fed babies and those who have been nursed for less than six months as breastfed so very misleading.

I’m also a scientist and the study that’s usually trotted out to say tha BF = higher iq is full of confounding errors.

If I have another I’m going to mix feed

It is difficult to feel sorry forr formula feeders. Most people give their babies formula, they are not a bullied minority. I get the guilt. I also had premature babies, and didn't manage to express enough milk for them. Although the hospital staff only let me express twice a day and only if I asked. But I don't feel guilty at all because the alternative would have been to let them starve to death. How can you feel guilty when that is the only option?

If you choose to formula feed because you don't want to BF for whatever reason then I suppose you might feel guilty. But why? Do you feel guilty when you give your child a bag of crisps (apple would be better), let them watch TV (playikg outdoors would be healthier) etc etc. If you regret FF then be supportive of those who choose to BF instead of saying that "pushing" the breat is best message is bad.

If new mums could breastfeed without getting comments like these I think a lot more babies would be BF.
"bitty",
"will you still BF when he goes to uni?"
"FIL shouldn't have to see that please go away to feed"
"Dad won't be able to bond"
"Your breasts will go saggy"
"Your breasts belong to me (said by baby's dad)"
"It's not natural"

@Adviceplease - Do point us to your more superior sources that show otherwise then.

And I'm sick of hearing stuff like that spouted as if it's irrefutable fact - because it isn't. It gives the impression to women who don't breastfeed their children that they are somehow handicapping them intellectually, which is of course almost certainly is absolute bullshit.

Also to say that no research study is perfect. My approach is to read the scientific literature widely and come to my own conclusions. It is also why I decided not to go tee-total during my pregnancies and have had the odd glass of wine or beer on occasions with friends and family, after the first trimester. I've been lectured on that too by people who have not read and cannot understand the scientific literature, and again I just laugh.

I never once asked for input, but had it given anyway. Some people would do well to mind their own fucking business.

BF is best for babies. It's designed for them with all the nutrients and vitamins they need. I am not arguing with that. My problem is BFing was rammed down my throat with all of my DC and I successfully BF the first 3. Ds1 until 8 months, DS2 until 6 months and DS3 until 11 months. The problem was with DS4. He was in hospital at 2 days old and I was pumping very little. I was told that was normal although other mums were pumping 4 times as much as me. He lost weight and at 5 weeks old was back to his BW. He was dehydrated a at 8 weeks old had emergency surgery for a bowel obstruction. It was then that a dietician question my milk. I pumped as much as i could which wasnt a lot and it wasn't as creamy looking as I had seen other mums produce. The dietician recommended FF and DS4 gained weight, was happier and is now a healthy 6yo. I felt like I had failed my child. I had been unable to feed him and all the benefits he was losing out on. If you can BF then great and it is best for your baby. If you can't then that is fine too, that is what is best for your baby. Fed is best x

I mixed fed from early on and never felt guilty. I prefer to be told the truth and don't see how you can dress things up otherwise.
I saw the labels on the formula too but what can you do. Breastfeeding is best (at a population level and for the majority of kids).

Fed is not best. Fed is essential, and basic. Not fed is criminal. However, feeding your baby condensed milk or cows milk is not best at all

I don't have any superior sources, where would I get them from? I'm stating facts, but of course they mean nothing to the phd who understands scientific literature better than anybody else and laughs at us mere mortals eh?

And btw you are not laughing, you sound angry and pissed of.

Fed is not best. Fed is essential, and basic. Not fed is criminal. However, feeding your baby condensed milk or cows milk is not best at all

careful, you will make mothers feel guilty

I don't have any superior sources, where would I get them from? I'm stating facts, but of course they mean nothing to the phd who understands scientific literature better than anybody else and laughs at us mere mortals eh?

You stick to your 'facts' then. I'll continue as I was, yes.

Best go vegan then Advice.

I don't do the best daily.

My 3 are having beef ragu for lunch and chips on the beach later for tea. They are having some time on their phones as I speak,won't get the recommended exercise in today or eat 10 fruit/ veg. If I did the best they'd be eating organic veg meals today,had music practise,read for a few hours or so on waking,done loads of studying and park run.

And you want me to worry about ff past 6 weeks.😂😂😂😂

I REALLY want to believe that breastmilk is best for babies. I fed all my dc till the following ages: 4.5 years, 2.5 years, 2 years and 4.5years all ebf till 6 months
My first had constant viruses and infections
My second had the most dreadful allergies (still does)
My third developed type 1 diabetes and IBS, my fourth also IBS and lots of illnesses
I have told myself maybe they would have been worse if I hadn’t bf? But all the supposed benefits didn’t feel like they applied to us at all!

Motherhood does inspire some odd responses.

On one hand, some get upset at the NHS advising women to give their babies what is for most, the most healthy food. Might hurt the feelings of those who can’t or choose not to. That’s crackers.

On the other, woman are told that they shouldn’t make a fuss about a labour that scared the shit out of them. Also crackers.

Very odd!

I completely admit to breastfeeding because I couldn't be arsed with bottles, not because I believe that some ultraspecial juice flows out of my tits.

If it hadn't gone quite so easily I don't think I would have persevered.

If you regret FF then be supportive of those who choose to BF instead of saying that "pushing" the breat is best message is bad.

I don't think this is what anyone is saying. It's about the way it is done. I don't regret FF at all but at the time felt like I had completely failed. I think the packet of crisps/ tv analogy isn't directly comparable because babies only drink milk so you don't have the opportunity to balance it out by a healthy tea and going to the park later.

For me the biggest thing is challenging society in how it treats women with new babies and ensuring everyone is happy that the choice they made was right. As part of it pointing out that breastfeeding is the normal and optimal way is obviously completely reasonable. Putting it on cans of formula is just a lazy pretence of 'promoting' breastfeeding that causes harm and possibly no good.

And as cute points out some women actually find breastfeeding fairly easy. There is a lot of emphasis on it being hard etc which may put some off trying. Although obviously people need to be prepared for the reality.