Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, broken nights

[Turkkadin]

There are regularly threads started on MN about months of broken nights, breastfeeding and having babies sleeping in bed with you.
I'm not trying to be goads or unsympathetic, just trying to compare styles of parenting young babies. Maybe it's a generational thing as I'm 52. All 3 of mine were breastfed from birth for 3 weeks then bottle fed.
They weren't rocked to sleep and were often put to bed at night awake.
None ever co slept with us. They all went through the night from a matter of weeks old and all were good settled sleepers. I'm not saying our way was better but it seemed a lot simpler.

What a lovely story and well done you.

Congrats, take it their well rounded adults?

Would you like a medal? My mum is just a couple of years older than you, she breastfed for two weeks but had to stop due to traumatic and unusual circumstances, I slept in her bed for years and years so its not strictly a generational thing. People have always parented differently depending on their lives/babies/situation.

Research (lots of it) has given us a greater insight of the benefits of breastfeeding and responding to a baby’s queues, including cuddling it when it cries.

It’s simpler to sit on your arse and watch telly rather than play with your child. It’s simpler to feed them jammy toast every night than give them a decent meal. Doesn’t mean it’s right though.

No it's not a generational thing. I'm 60. I breastfed all 3 of our Children on demand. 2 until 10 months and 1 until 13 months.
The first didn't go down awake until she was about 6 months old also didn't sleep through the night until 8 months old. DD3 actually didn't sleep through until she was 3 years old. They only co slept with us when they were ill.
However my SIl children did co sleep for the first few months and she is now in her 50s

What is your AIBU?

My 63 year old mum BF 3 kids to about 10 months, she put us in a crib, let us sleep in her bed as appropriate...not generational. FFS my gran who would be in her nineties, BF 4 kids to at least a year and let them sleep in her bed as necessary...

Luckily we now understand how harmful a rigid approach that leaves babies to cry a lot is to their development.

Op, you do sound goady.

Cool story dude

I don’t really get your point?! personally won’t lie on my death bed and regret co sleeping and all the cuddles. Being there for my baby who just wanted me.

Babies often want comfort. Some can be ‘trained’ to realise they won’t get it. Others like mine are too stubborn for that! It’s such a small part of your life in the scheme of things

My mum's the same age as you OP. She breastfed on demand til nearly two and coslept with me and my siblings. Same as I'm doing now with my DC. It's nothing new. Don't worry about us. Different strokes.

This is fascinating.
I can see how I’m doing everything wrong. Thanks a mil.

Btw, why three weeks?

You're the winner OP, winner of everything.

My DD had a congenital birth defect of her respiratory tract that made her struggle to breathe if she got distressed (for instance if she wanted bf or a cuddle) so for us the "simpler" option was to feed her or cuddle her and deal with the broken nights' sleep so she could continue to inhale oxygen. Of course, we wouldn't go into all that with random people, we'd just acknowledge if asked that she wasn't sleeping through so the random strangers would feel like winners of parenting.

My DS didn't have the same issues but still wants someone to cuddle him to sleep at bedtime. He knows it's ok to tell us he needs a cuddle or to be in someone's bed even if that means a broken night for us, even though it's not "simpler."

Does this assist your comparison of "styles of parenting" at all? Are you preparing a pie chart?

I’m 48 so only 4 years younger than you.

Breastfed them all past a year, coslept amd had years of broken sleep.

It’s not a generational thing.

How much did they cry out of interest, when you left them awake in their cots?

And what is your AIBU? AIBU that modern parents are doing it all wrong?

How sad that this far along the line you have so little in your life you don't have better things to focus on.

I didn't breastfeed at all. Didn't want to.

Didn't co-sleep either as having a wriggly baby in our bed simply kept me awake and made the sleep deprivation worse.

They would usually drop off to sleep during the final feed late at night, so going down awake wasn't something I remember happening regularly.

They were good sleepers generally and in their own rooms from about 6 weeks of age. All well rounded teenagers/adults now.

Not everyone is so lucky. Some children truly just don't seem to sleep much.

I am 52, breastfed my 3 kids for more than 2 years each (6 months ebf), and slept with all of them until they were ready to move out (about 2-4 years old). It was wonderful- very happy time.

Should add that I am 51. I don't think it is necessarily generational. Just people finding a way that is right for them.

Breastfed mine, sleeps like a champ. Same room, sidecar cot.

Babies are a land of contrasts aren’t they? Bit like adults.

What's your point?

I have four kids, the second one slept through from birth, other three didn't. Did the same routine with all, but each baby is different.

Sooo glad I read this after (as I type) finally getting my new born to feed from my breast after an hour of trying when he just won't calm down... and knowing that he won't sleep when he finishes either... You're my saviour. Didn't realise it was my fault!!

Not all babies are the same, genius. I actually cannot believe people are so arrogant and stupid to make comments like this. Just ask people who have an easy first baby and then a second who has colic/reflux/won't sleep etc.

I can only hope that when your own perfect children start having their own and tell you they're planning to breastfeed and cosleep, that you keep your attitude to yourself.

I BF for 17 months, we never coslept (other than cot in our bedroom at the start as per SIDS reduction guidelines), and I was back at work 5 months after baby was born. I expressed so gave bottles but was lucky enough to have good supply and never needed formula.

To be honest when I read threads about mothers needing advice on how to make up a bottle of formula safely with the right temperature water blah blah at 2 AM it sounds like a nightmare to me, compared to sticking baby on breast.

As per poster above, babies aren't all the same. This post (given that I'm up at 3.30) has made me rationally cross!