DP wanting a room all to himself

[SarahH12]

Current setup is three bedrooms, private renting. One room is our room, one room is DSD's and the spare room we both use to chill out in - read, use exercise bike etc. I love having this space but I see it as a luxury, not a necessity.

We've recently started looking at buying a house. DP wants us to go for a 4 bedroom. He sees it as when we want to have DC, they'll have the third room and then he still wants a 4th bedroom which he can call his space. I would rather buy a cheaper 3 bedroom and lose the spare room once we have DC. Him wanting a 4th bedroom pushes the prices up by quite a lot and would use practically every single penny of our savings for the deposit, meaning solicitors fees, stamp duty, moving costs etc would have to be paid for on a credit card.

I think he's being selfish and it's really putting me off wanting to buy with him if he can't wrap his head around the fact we lose space if we have DC. AIBU or is he?

I'm with your husband too. We deliberately bought a big house, a doer-upper, that we could live in forever if we wanted to.
In two years (of hard work) we put 50% in its value.
Now we have a baby I can't imagine what we'd do with less space. It allowed us a room each to sleep in when my pregnancy snoring got too much and now we can sleep separately when the baby is fractuous. Great for when friends or family want to come and stay too.
The smaller places we looked at have held their value, but not gone up like ours has.

I agree with your husband, it all seems pretty low risk to me. Your landlord doesn’t want to do a rolling contact but have you tried asking them for a six month extension? That gives the landlord certainty and you a focused amount of time to save and search for your 4 bed.

Thanks all for your comments, it's really help me get my head around things. We were trying to make a decision between two houses. One was cheaper but very small and the other was so much bigger, a space we can really grow into but may require some moving costs to be put on the credit card. Anyway, in the end we decided to go for the bigger property as it gives us the confidence we won't have to move again for a very long time.

My partner and I have just bought a three bed house and he is having one of the rooms. He has Asperger's so needs a place of his own when he gets overwhelmed. I've got no issue with it.

How about a log cabin in the garden? Much cheaper than a fourth bedroom. Could be insulated and have electricity.

I was just about to suggest a 3 bed with garden big enough for a garden room.

Or somewhere with room to build on.

If you are planning on having children then I would get a bigger house. It’s nice for them to be able to have their own space. We have a 4 bed and I love having a spare room for guests. I’m way past people sleeping on the sofa. If you can afford it then do it. I wouldn’t buy a house I was going to move out of in 5 or 10 years either.

The house we've put an offer on has 4 bedrooms so one for us, one for DSD, spare room for us to chill in and then another spare room hopefully to be used by our Of in a year or two. The space is really good as we'll have a second reception room which can be used, a shed will fit in the garden and we could potentially convert the attic in a few years if we (hopefully) have a third child. None of the bedrooms are box rooms which mean all 3 DC would have enough room of their own.

Sounds perfect and a total no-brainer TBH, worth stretching yourself a tiny but to get a much better property.

Thanks silver

I have friends with ‘his and hers’ sheds. It is the best solution for you, honestly. Get a reasonable sized house with a good sized garden you can put 2 sheds in. Padlock yours and let him hide in his to his heart’s content.

Thanks for the update OP. Hope you love your new place!