To be worrying about DS in London on his own?

[Sotuko]

DS is 18 and has just started uni (in September). We live north east. He's made a few friends from down south who are studying here and has been out with them a few times.

On Sunday he came home and said he was going away for a few days - to London!!! I asked when he was going and he said "now". Within the hour he'd bought a train ticket and buggered off.

I asked him to text me when he got to Kings Cross. By my reckoning he would have got there around 11pm which is hardly a great time for some young kid who doesn't know London to be hanging around. I heard nothing so I text at 11.30 to ask if he was there yet and had he met his friends. He text back "yeah, my phone charger is broke so if you don't hear much from me, that's why".

I've not heard from him since.

AIBU to be worried sick?

OP- from your updates of things the circumstances do sound a bit odd. Particularly the social media updates (lack of) and his BF's concern.

Can you block your number and phone him? Just to see if his phone is on/he answers?

If he does answer just be calm and say he may have forgotten you are due to go away and you just wanted to check he was ok before you left.

I think you need to do something before you leave or it will eat you up.

OP YABU. summer holidays after my first year of university I went inter railing through Europe with friends. France, Italy, Switzerland, Austria, Turkey, Greece, Bulgaria, Romania, Czechoslovakia, Germany, Belguim, Netherlands all in the space of 4 weeks. Honestly London will be the least of your worries

Love the idea of offering a bank transfer to get a response. I shall use this when needed.

Thinking of a figure much lower than £50 though...

I fucked off to America to go see a boy during one of my reading weeks without telling my parents.

Got a text asking if I wanted them to come up and see me, nah, I'm not there I'm in New York mum! Fun times.

But I do agree the lack of communication / story not adding up is slightly worrying. However he might just have something slightly minor to hide - wants to go raving, stay with a new GF (or BF) or something.

Thanks for the Facebook info on location on their profile! I did it and it does say he's in London.

Also I've heard from him finally. I sent a Facebook message just saying "assuming you're still alive?" And he replied "barely" with a cocktail emoji. He says he's coming home sometime today. I'll leave it at that.

I think this is all to do with the girlfriend. DS2 saw her snogging another bloke in town a few weeks back, told DS1 and he told him they'd split up but not to tell me. They've hung out together since and he was saying he was going to Paris with her but then this picture appears on instagram of her and another bloke and I'm thinking he's just done one to get away from it.

YANBU to be a tiny bit worried now only because you say he has not come back when he said he would.
YABU to be worried sick just that your 18 year old adult son had gone to London and you hadn't heard from him for a few days.

If your 18 adult son lives with you under your roof, Y would NBU to be extremely angry at his rudeness and lack of consideration when he returns and his failure to come home when he said he would and allay your fears. He will have behaved disrespectfully to you and you should not take this lying down.

Glad you have heard from him. Sounds like a tough time for him and he has taken himself away to gather his thoughts. Have a nice break.

Crossed. Glad he's OK. Doesn't matter how many cocktails he has had, nor anything else, he owes you a massive apology.

That's great news, you must be so relieved - and so ready to giving him a bollocking when he turns up

Ah that’s great. Glad your mind is at rest

So pleased he got in touch, I did wonder if it was something to do with the girlfriend and he just wanted to get away

Glad all is OK.

I now feel free to tell you the places I went without informing parents (working not at uni).

Amsterdam
Germany
Mauritius
Bali
Paris

Once they get to 18, by all means worry if you like but what he does from now on is really none of your business.

My middle child went to uni in London last year at 18 and I say you are NOT being unreasonable to be worried sick!!! I was!! But you would be unreasonable to use that as a reason to get your son to check in with you several times a day.

Once they get to 18, by all means worry if you like but what he does from now on is really none of your business.

Absolutely not true if they are still living in the family home. They need to treat the rest of their family with the same respect they are given - ie they wouldn't expect their parent to bugger off for days with no idea what they were doing, so they shouldn't do it either.

Glad he's okay. Maybe an idea to establish some rules with him - as long as he's living with you. Just to say please let us know where you go and when you'll be back and if plans change to let you know. But also remember that he is 18, and he needs to be free. The most important thing to remember is that you can't protect him anymore all the time and that by being overprotective you will only push him away. You've got to trust you've taught him well enough so that he can handle himself. I'm saying this as a child of a very overprotective mother who drove me nuts - I believe her vein but so overprotective in fact made me more reckless as a form of rebellion when I was young. I know how hard it is not to worry and act on the worry though, my children are both under 5 so don't even know how I'll cope once they get to teenage years!