To be worrying about DS in London on his own?

[Sotuko]

DS is 18 and has just started uni (in September). We live north east. He's made a few friends from down south who are studying here and has been out with them a few times.

On Sunday he came home and said he was going away for a few days - to London!!! I asked when he was going and he said "now". Within the hour he'd bought a train ticket and buggered off.

I asked him to text me when he got to Kings Cross. By my reckoning he would have got there around 11pm which is hardly a great time for some young kid who doesn't know London to be hanging around. I heard nothing so I text at 11.30 to ask if he was there yet and had he met his friends. He text back "yeah, my phone charger is broke so if you don't hear much from me, that's why".

I've not heard from him since.

AIBU to be worried sick?

YANBU I would be a bit worried, too.

He'll be fine! As long as he doesn't fall asleep on the night bus and wake up in Penge. Or Catford Bus Garage.

Sorry OP I make light but in all honesty, it's highly unlikely anything awful will happen - London is safer than it's ever been, the tubes run late, the popo are everywhere and he's with friends. I hung around London from 17 and I was a silly, under-dressed yokel who'd had too many "WKDs". More than survived - nothing traumatic. Apart from Catford Bus Garage - the cab back into town is extortionate.

It's hard letting them go but a necessary part of growing up. Our youngest DS left 3 weeks ago to travel around SE Asia on his own. He was only 18 in August and could pass as 16 - very fresh faced still! He survived Bangkok and is now travelling around Thailand and heading towards Cambodia. We have had viber messages most days - all initiated by him and mostly photos or stickers. He obviously enjoys keeping us updated rather than it being a chore. We don't bombard him with questions or expect lengthy on line conversations - a simple smiley face is often enough. If there is no internet as time goes on we will understand that he won't be in touch so much. But for the moment its helping to make the early days easier for a worrying mum! Whether it's in this country or anywhere else in the world its ever so hard when we've always been there to look after them - I know exactly how you feel OP.

Hope you hear from him soon. I know at 18 he’s an adult, but many are still naive and vulnerable at that age.

My DS is nearly 18 (still 6th Form not Uni)
I wouldn't be pleased if he buggered off with no contact just as I wouldn't be pleased if my DH did the same.

If the AIBU was My DH came home said he's off to London with mates and I haven't heard from him there would be uproar of "Selfish Bastard"

How long would it take him to phone/text and I bet he's got a new charger , an 18yo without their phone....? Nope !

@70isaLimitNotaTarget surely you can differentiate between the OPs DH who has responsibilities to her and her adult DS? It’s a very weird analogy

Is anyone else wondering how much the walk on ticket is? I know it's £170 from Nottingham - any 18 year old that has that kind of disposal income on hand is doing something right - he'll be fine.

18+ the only I can stay sane about my dcs safety (I have ridiculous anxiety) is by being completely binary: alive or not?
Snapchat wassap and Facebook messenger are your friends and find friends if your dc are as indulgent of their mothering mother as mine are! I can always see when mine were last active and usually their location.

Have you ever been to London? There are gangs of Pearly Kings and Queens roaming the streets, terrifying people with their cockney rhyming slang. By the time he returns home he'll wearing a big sovereign ring on his little finger be demanding Jellied Eeels for dinner

Right now he's being used for sex by a gorgeous actress twice his age. You should phone the police at once.

Ethylred What rubbish. Clearly he is in The Garrick, and a Cabinet Minister has a hand on his knee

Lalalanded

He'll be fine! As long as he doesn't fall asleep on the night bus and wake up in Penge. Or Catford Bus Garage.

Are you speaking from experience?

Doesn't he have classes to go to at uni?

He's probably going to take loads of drugs, drink loads of booze and shag inappropriate people. Lucky sod. Bet he has a great time.

Even worse, Doris, he might start singing their battle song - 'knees up Mother Brown' while playing an out of tune piana.

OP, I know it's easy to say don't worry, because you're his mum, so you will, but don't worry. He'll be fine.

There's nowt wrong with ending up in Penge. There's a lovely comfy bench at the night bus stop, a 24hr McDonald's and a supermarket. Big Mac, bottle of white lightening. Sorted.

YABU, loads of 18 year olds take off to places on the spur of the moment. I did it at uni, but because I lived in halls my parents just weren't generally aware.

He's obviously with friends there, he'll be fine. And London is so full of people and lights and 24 hour places that I'd be less worried about him roaming around there at night than in a lot of smaller towns and cities in the UK.

If you fall asleep on the Piccadilly line then it loops round Heathrow and you end up back in Central London. Result

twatty no its a common courtesy surely ?
If he knows his Mum would be worried?
How long would it take to send a text? As he was asked to text to say he'd arrived safely but didn't do that?

My mum would have worried about me in all circumstances other than her keeping me prisoner in her own house. Why message? She'd have worried about the contents of the message, and started worrying again an hour later.

I didn't contact my parents for weeks at a time when I was a student and I certainly didn't tell them the many, many times I was in London for a night or two. I would have found a demand for constant messaging incredibly irritating and would have pushed my parents further away.

London is far and beyond safer than most UK cities. Yes there is violent crime but there’s violent crime everywhere!

Of course YABU!

Whatever did you think might have happened to him at King's Cross around 11pm?

Well he told me he was staying until Wednesday, it's now Thursday and I've still not heard from him. No updates on social media either. I text him a couple of days ago to ask how things were and have had no reply. I simply don't believe that he's surviving for days on end without a phone. When he broke his last one he insisted on going out to same day to get a new one as he simply couldn't be without it.

To make matters worse I go on holiday for two weeks today. I know he's probably fine and dandy but it'd be nice to know for sure.

I think he is being a bit of a dick ok it's the usual 18 year old dickishness but still it's unfair on op.

If he was supposed to be home yesterday and didn't turn up or message I would be worrying too and I was a tearaway teen.

So to recap there has been no contact since Sunday he hasn't updated his social media which is very out of character for him and he didn't come back when he said he would.
Out of interest when should op start worrying and do something about it?

If he was staying with you/supposed to turn up at yours, then it is extremely rude not to let you know of any change of plans: I wouldn't be impressed by any adult who behaved in that way.

If he was not supposed to be at yours but at uni, then I agree it is his own business (is it his reading week?).