To think 1 year old twins are bloody impossible?

[TammyswansonTwo]

Okay, when they were babies it was bloody hard. Like, going insane levels of hard. But at least I could bloody put them down and they'd stay where I put them.

They can't even walk yet and they're already driving me crazy. Let's recap:

• they have 1 x 20 minute nap a day

-one has figured out how to escape from their very expensive, should last til 2 bouncers

• got a very pricey big playpen which has saved me but now they've refused to stay in it, and have figured out how to gang up on it and prise it open
• they wait until I'm just starting to relax, or I'm busy changing the other and then they dart off in opposite directions - one attempting to pull the TV over, the other heading straight for the baby crusher (just kidding, I don't have a baby crusher but everything in the house is a potential baby crusher

Would a big dog cage be unreasonable?

Just kidding. But any suggestions that will stop me losing my mind. My vocab seems to have shrunk to their names, "stop it", "no" and muttering expletives.

Hang in there, OP. My twin boys are two this month. I found things really tricky this time last year because of the lack of walking. It felt like we were really restricted to either staying in the house or going to soft play. Once they started walking it really opened things up for us. We now can go to the park or playgroups or walks in the woods and it’s all just a little bit easier. It really could all look a bit different in the next six months.

We’ve been able to pretty much baby-proof the living room, so I can now do a few little jobs without worrying too much that they might be destroying the house. They use the sofa as their own personal soft play, which is frustrating, but it could be worse! Ikea have a little crawling tunnel and a tent which attaches to it. I’d get those and use them and a ball pit to make the playpen more attractive. My boys have always been happier to throw themselves around and play physically rather than sit and do puzzles or whatever.

The last suggestion is a bit weird, but stay with me. We got a bike trailer from Halford’s that can fit both boys. I attach it to my bike and use it for quick trips to the park or into town. Sometimes we just go for a ride. The boys absolutely love it and they get so excited about going on the bike. It’s a lovely way to get some fresh air and change of scene, which sometimes is what you all need.

I know it’s so hard at this stage, and I’ll be honest that two two-year-olds is pretty hard, too, but there really are lots of great things to come.

I have 19 month old twins and I feel your pain...... but I have noticed things get slightly easier now that they are walking. No more back and forthing from the car and they can go towards anything that they are interested in. So now it’s just a case of keeping an eye on the one in the most danger. Thankfully my girl is pretty steady and thinks things out so I can let my guard down a bit with her and concentrate on her brother who is a complete liability.

I have yet to master the art of walking them both with reigns though.... they tend to go in different directions and therefore fall flat on their faces. 🙄

I would like to echo the extreme baby proofing though. Every week in the last 6 months has seen another drawer being locked or something else being screwed to be wall! They grow quickly and can reach far too far for my liking!!!

Good luck!

As soon as mine could both walk I took them for a walk every single day, regardless of the weather. To start with it was mostly me sort of dangling them on reins until their walking improved. But we always returned home in a better mood than we left, especially me!
It was once suggested that I was treating them like dogs on leads by some random woman but rather that than risk one or both running off and getting hurt. And they loved their reins!

I haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if this has already been mentioned.
My twins are almost 4, one was a climber, runner, clumsy clot (still is tbh), the other a bit more cautious.
Every day after lunch, I'd strap the two of them into their pram, and plonk them in front of CBeebies. Sometimes they'd sleep, other times they wouldn't, but they'd chill out for a bit.
After a nap, or, if they weren't going to nap, 30 minutes or so, they got a little snack before they got out.
It was the only thing that kept me sane. I could have a hot coffee, and, as long as neither of them could see me, I'd get a bit of peace.

Mine also spent hours in puddle suits crawling round the park, face planting in puddles the lot. Kept them happy and tired them out and, as long as the park is fenced in, there's not too much that can go wrong.

It gets easier, promise.

Am with you.....but I only have one and she’s such a trouble maker. I’ve got a ‘strong willed’ 3yo too, they have already started scrapping. 1yo is always looking to deck the 3yo.

I love my girls but feel slightly annoyed when DD3 is playing beautifully and DD1 comes and bull dozers in.

My advice as a parent of 3yo twins
Foam helmets can be worn inside when they are at the stage when they learn to stand but fall all the time.
Safe spaces where you can leave them and have 5min in another room: playpel (we had a plastic one as well), corridor blocked with gates, cots, etc.
If they don't sleep at nap time, turn it into quiet time, ie in cots but with light on and books/soft toys

I don’t have twins, but after what turns out to have been an amazingly serene DD I now have Evil Knievel in DS. None of my strategic tips would be new to you (basically as everyone says, make a safe space you can let them go wild in), but I found what helped me more than anything else was letting go. Just accepting that things will be trashed, there will inevitably be at least one trip to A&E at some point or another, damage will be done. Our safe space is a huge room I’ve turned over to the children. They can do what they like in it: wreck the walls completely, tear down the cheapie curtains, chuck their toys around - whatever. (It’s not their bedroom, which they’re not allowed to play in - that’s just for sleeping). I’ve accepted I’m going to have to get that room fixed before we sell.

The second thing was also changing tactics. With DD I taught her how to do things correctly from the start: I only had to tell her once not to run into the road/ throw balls indoors/ not swings on the doors etc. That approach is an absolute waste of time with DS: he finds naughtiness funny, doesn’t understand being told off (finds everything funny), and is far far faster and nimbler than I am. So, I just let him get on with it and tell myself that the only way this child will learn anything is by trial and error, and personal experience. (Of course, like an idiot, I still talk to him like he understands, but I can’t help myself).

It works. At least in the sense that DD still gets attention, I’m sane, DS is alive, happy, thriving and, it turns out, not as wild as he probably would have been had I watched over him as I did DD and breathed down his neck. I say I did proactive parenting with DD as a baby/toddler, and I’m doing reactive parenting with DS.

I’ve got twins, plus one a year older. The toddler years were HARD, mine bickered a lot and bit each other so I’d put them in double layers of long sleeved t shirts. We also had various combinations of the babydan baby gates/walls and I got the telly wall mounted. We had to secure every single bit of furniture as they climbed and pulled everything.
They’re 8,7,7 now and we still co sleep, but it’s easier now and they play together so the payoff is now, when they can entertain each orher.

Hang in there!

Yes to extreme proofing one room, we turned units to the wall and tied handles/knobs together. Baby dans can be pulled straight, we built a fence and attached it to the walls, so half the room was for ds' and we had the other riskier/moveable objects within reach for us on the other side. We put door handles on upside down to stop them getting out of rooms, then Moved the whole lock further up the door/frame out of reach. Have a safe cupboard they can get in to keep entertained. At nap time, pushchair and walk, take a beaker with a hot drink, you'll still be tired but refreshed and ready for the next chunk of the day. I used to think 2:45 hours to bedtime etc!!! tough days but you are doing really well

"They’re 8,7,7 now and we still co sleep"

🥉

(not sarky)

I remember my friend used to just be outside ALL the time! She had 3 boys under 3 at one point (her 2nd we’re twins)
I used to see her in the park or local field huddled in a bench with a coffee whilst her dc crawled/ran around!

Thanks so much everyone. Told my husband last night that this weekend we are having a babyproofing strategy meeting. We really are so limited by the layout, whjch does maximise the living space downstairs but means the only rooms in the house where we have doors to close are the bathroom and two bedrooms. There is a door to the kitchen, but can't even close that as the cats need to access the garden and their food / water.

I think what I really need is something retractable / foldable that I can put up around the perimeter of one side of the lounge part of the room to block the fireplace and TV, then as a divider between the lounge and dining room parts. Then the only hazard is the sofa and I don't think it will be long until they can safely climb on to and of it, and even if they can't the lounge floor is covered in big foam tiles anyway. Would prefer to make the dining area their bit but that has a lot more stuff that needs to be in it (computer for work, dining table and built in shelves) plus it's the only way through to the kitchen. When we bought this place I figured the open plan nature of it would be great for family living which it is as it feels a lot more open, but it's also a curse in that they can get anywhere unless I physically stop them! Then we could remove the giant play pen that's filling the dining area! Of course this will probably only last about six months until they figure out how to climb the damn thing!

Sounds a good plan! It's only short term and will save your sanity! Yeah they'll be fine with the sofa after a while, my DS is 19 months now but has been able to get on and off safely for a good while. He's fallen off a few times rolling around being silly on it - luckily we're carpeted and he bounces Plus, he's learning not to mess about on the sofa, he never falls when he gets down nicely - natural consequence right there!

Don't think about what it might be like at a different stage - yes, it might be harder, but it might not - your babies are not going to be the same as someone else's and just because theirs got more difficult, yours might get over their frustration when they walk and get easier for a bit. It is bloody hard work and you're doing fine. I too have a fearless one and we've ended up in casualty when she dived out of a high chair.

I'm so sorry, I'm laughing at this, but that's because my twins are 21 now!
It does get better, I promise. I do remember that twin two used to take her nappy off and spread the contents. We put her babygrow on backwards and twin one learnt to undo it. We parcel taped twin two's nappy, twin one learnt to undo it. This went on for quite some time, the worst of being that we had tongue and groove floorboards!

It does get better!

Get one of these:

www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/skinner-air-crib

Just to make you feel a little bit better OP, I know someone with not one, but two sets of twins. They are fifteen months apart. Yes. 15 months.

I don't know how in God's name she ever manages to leave the house but she does. I saw her in Sainsbury's yesterday afternoon: one newborn and one toddler in the double buggy, one newborn strapped to her front and one toddler sitting on some type of buggy board contraption.

All you twin mums have my utmost respect. You're all fab .

Anyone in or near London who needs an extra pair of hands and I'd be happy to oblige!!

There is a door to the kitchen

I too have a kitchen which the cats need to access to get food/water. I just put a staircase in the doorway so the cats can get in and my toddler can't.

I have 5 month old twins and this is what I am fearing... nooooooo

stairGATE, not staircase obviously!!!!

I’ve got twins who are almost one and I feel your pain, they have become crazy in the last month or so!
You need a sectioned off area, we’ve got a massive kitchen and I’ve sectioned one area and the only “hazard” is the sofa which my girl climbs on and I’ve not managed to teach her how to get off safely but am working on. Your playpen might convert into this. Mine was a playpen Which they hated so we turned it into a room divider.

It’s bloomin hard work, my coping strategy is think of someone in a worse position! Keeps me sane!

I can’t wait for them to walk properly. It will be so much better when they can actually get around properly themselves and I think it will tire them out more.

Good luck!

Gosh my two are now 30!
It does pass, but I well remember those seemingly impossible years when it is so very hard to physically cope with two that appear to be in cahoots to drive you insane and go off in different directions at the same time.
As a previous poster said get them as physically tired as you can, plenty of fresh air.
Don't even try to do things for yourself you just end up getting frustrated.
I had two older sons who never ever put me through what the DT's did.
At one stage we had two stair gates, one on top of the other, wired together to stop them escaping from their bedroom in the early hours!
You really have to think outside the box when it comes to childproofing your home. like a previous poster said I used to strap them in their buggy and stick them in front of the TV whilst I got the dinner. It really was the only way!

You have my complete sympathy

Tammy I used to take them to the playpark twice a day whatever the weather. They got all their climbing out of their systems then. So they didn't often attempt to scale the TV. (We had a tiny TV in those days, which helped.) And we had baby bouncers. They are frowned on, but they were a life saver while I was prepping dinner. They'd boing up and down in doorways, safe and being tired out while I used knives and hot stoves safely.

Yes, stair gates everywhere. We even got some very high ones as I swear one of my boys has invisible suckers on his feet and can climb anything. I tied ours shut with cable ties because they sussed the mechanism.

Do whatever gets you through. I tied them all together one day, at a festival, so they wouldn’t get lost. (WTF were we thinking? A festival?!) Then I tied the rope through my belt and marched off. They thought it was hilarious but I know there were judgy pants pulls right up the crack of other parents’ arses that day.

Oh yes, I took off the door handles and put them back on upside down. Mwah ha ha. That slowed them down for a while. Well a few days anyway.