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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 1 year old twins are bloody impossible?

184 replies

TammyswansonTwo · 01/11/2017 08:59

Okay, when they were babies it was bloody hard. Like, going insane levels of hard. But at least I could bloody put them down and they'd stay where I put them.

They can't even walk yet and they're already driving me crazy. Let's recap:

  • they have 1 x 20 minute nap a day
-one has figured out how to escape from their very expensive, should last til 2 bouncers
  • got a very pricey big playpen which has saved me but now they've refused to stay in it, and have figured out how to gang up on it and prise it open
  • they wait until I'm just starting to relax, or I'm busy changing the other and then they dart off in opposite directions - one attempting to pull the TV over, the other heading straight for the baby crusher (just kidding, I don't have a baby crusher but everything in the house is a potential baby crusher

Would a big dog cage be unreasonable?

Just kidding. But any suggestions that will stop me losing my mind. My vocab seems to have shrunk to their names, "stop it", "no" and muttering expletives.

OP posts:
Bellabelinda · 01/11/2017 10:09

I didn't have twins but two with a small gap, in winter I found our local playground was a godsend too, it's only small, is fenced/gated and was desterted in the winter months. If you've got one similar close by use it! Wrap up warm, doesn't matter if things are wet as my two basically wanted to run around, means you can let them off the leash (so to speak) and be able to see them at all times. But yes, once they start playing with each other having twins will really pay off, hold onto that thought.

MessyBun247 · 01/11/2017 10:10

I work in a crèche and there is 15 month old twins girls. They are into EVERYTHING, constantly running in opposite directions, snatching, screaming, whacking each other. Needless to say their mum is exhausted and has to get out every day or she would go mad. It is really, really hard!! It's a hard enough age with 1, never mind 2 simultaneously. All you can do is get through it the best you can and know that it won't be like this forever! Take any help that is offered and don't make like hard for yourself.

TammyswansonTwo · 01/11/2017 10:11

Yeah, I think playgrounds will be really handy soon - right now they can't walk, can only pull up and scoot round the edges of things and would rather crawl so can't really let them out of the buggy outside until they're a bit more toddlery!

OP posts:
TammyswansonTwo · 01/11/2017 10:13

Thank you :)

I wish I had some family around or something - Im not working (childcare would be too costly) although I have a teeny part time job and tomorrow I'm going to an event that has a crèche, will be interested to see how they do. Maybe I need to find the money somehow for a bit of a break each week as I feel like I'm going a bit mental. It's only 10am and I'm already shattered.

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Tinty · 01/11/2017 10:14

Just a suggestion, can you get a pop up Tent to fit in their baby dan cage, it might keep them interested for a bit. Put some toys in and let them explore it. I think it is all about distraction and new interesting things. (Disclaimer, I don't have twins but did have a house wrecking, sleep dodger). I also put a baby slide and lots of balls in my baby cage for my little DS when he was a toddler.

McPie · 01/11/2017 10:30

Mine will be 11 next week and I honestly think I have blocked that phase out as other than having a baby prison I cant remember how I survived it! I do remember having to often switch them sides in the pram when they were about 2 as they kept biting each other Shock.
Luckily they both slept really well (other than the firework incident that saw dd scream every night for two months after one scared her going off above her head just before they turned 1) or I think I would have been a zombie getting ds1 out to school every day!

DoublyTroubly · 01/11/2017 10:30

Hi. My twins are 3 now and I really can’t remember how I did it. It’s definitely a lot easier now

Firstly, have you tried talking to your health visitor? They can often put you in touch with people who will come and help out every so often

my twins stopped going in playpen at that sort of age too so I used it to block off fireplace and store things that I wanted to keep in living room but didn’t want them to access (looked a bit of a mess but helped). I used a coffee table to block the telly

I used to have a jumperoo which they loved but they stopped using it about 14months so might be a bit too old

Definitely strap them into the buggy and go out for lots of long walks exploring. Hopefully they will dose off but at least you will get some fresh air (even if they do complain)

Honestly, it will get much better when they are walking x

TammyswansonTwo · 01/11/2017 10:36

Thanks so much for all your suggestions everyone - I am going to work through them all now!

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BamburyFuriou3 · 01/11/2017 10:42

One warning about the babydan playpen / wall divider - child#2 could climb it by 16 months, and my current 14 month old has already worked out to pull up an object to stand on to climb it - or indeed all the baby gates. Sometimes everything you try to keep them safe just makes them more resourceful!

SeaSawRocker · 01/11/2017 10:48

Could you afford two days a week in a Nursery/Creche and put one in each day so it's only one to deal with? That's how my friend who has twins copes, she loves having 1-1 time with each of them. And the Nursery she uses aren't bothered which twin she sends on which day as it doesn't matter cost wise for them (they have the same keyworker) so sometimes she swaps their days so she can do a particular thing with one.

Mustang27 · 01/11/2017 10:50

I’d go with the dog cage 😂.

You sound frazzled, I have no advice at all only sheer amazement you are doing incredibly well. I sometimes look at my one toddler and wonder how they still have all their limbs.

Doubletrouble42 · 01/11/2017 10:54

A kindred spirit! My twins are 11 months and we have just bought a massive plastic playpen to keep them in as we were going insane. They love it, I love it, its a life changer. Those brightly coloured chunky plastic ones, got it from ebay. YANBU!!!!

user1499786242 · 01/11/2017 10:56

I'm just about getting through it and I only have one child
I have sooo much respect for twin mummas!

picklemepopcorn · 01/11/2017 11:05
Flowers

Hang in there! Wear them out when they start walking!

Try taking them upstairs to change, or doing it in the downstairs loo so there is less room for wandering off!

Also, what about a special toy box of really interesting things that they have at times when you need them to be still? 'Really interesting things' can be anything from a collection of Tupperware’s and lids, a big too heavy to lift pan and spoons to bang it with, or some toys they don’t often get out.

Spanneroo · 01/11/2017 11:07

My SIL has twins and for that stage she had a play pen and a LOT of those plastic balls from ball pits. Enough to cover the floor of the pen. Kept them busy and made it mostly impossible for any climbing/teaming up to get over the side of the pen.

MIL had quadruplets and used a semi inflated air bed with a play pen around the edge. Meant they didn't really have enough balance to do much. I enjoyed looking through some home videos of OH, SIL, and their siblings attempting to escape from it recently. It made for very amusing viewing!

FlipFlopFlappy · 01/11/2017 11:18

Mine are nearly 7 now but age 1-3 was so utterly ridiculous now I look back. If I left them alone for 5 seconds the would hit, push, bite, pull hair. It was such hard work. Now they’re best friends and hardly argue. I will get better.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 01/11/2017 11:24

Double DS1 would have been out of that playpen in a jiffy: he was climbing out if his cot before he was one.

OP we have our TV at attached by a strap to the back of the unit it sits on. I'm sure you aware that kids are killed by TVs every year.

Dragongirl10 · 01/11/2017 11:35

I had 2 Dcs, 16 months apart so not quite the same but....

My lifesavers were,
a Huge playpen, actually several playpen sections locked together that took over the living room ( about 10ft diameter) on a big thick rug, all toys in there.

Life happened within the playpen, Games, soft books etc.

Tv visible on a shelf outside so could be put on but not reached, Nappies and wipes and bin on a stand outside playpen but reachable from within.

Nothing else they may like to touch outside on view, as too tempting to escape, basically empty room! I even has a small comfortable soft armchair in the Playpen.

When I needed to leave and cook etc, put washing on, l would put on favourite videos for immediate distraction, then turn off on returning. so it was always a treat.

Also you can link or tie babygates together to block off entire areas of the house if open plan.

I also had stairgates every where, ie bathroom doorway, so l could plonk them on a pile of towels whilst having a shower etc. Or plonk them in the bedroom playpen whils getting dressed ( I also had smaller playpens upstairs with a stash of interesting things, to keep them occupied for 30 minutes) If they hurt each other then seperate them.

I never subscibed to the point of view that its fun to restack the kitchen cupboards 7 times a morning! so the kitchen was out of bounds until they were older unless they were sitting at the table strapped in.

Good Luck!

katycb · 01/11/2017 11:37

My twins weren't climbers but my friends were and she opened put the baby prison and used it to guard the TV and shelves so they didn't feel cooped up bit were still safe iykwim. I did put ours round the Xmas tree one year after mine suddenly decided to start pulling themselves up to get baubles!!

MrsPandaBear · 01/11/2017 11:52

You have my sympathy, i have a good friend with twins and since spending a lot of time with her i was prayed DC2 would be a singleton! Obviously all twins are different but from about 15 months there were short spells where it was easier for her with two than me with one as they'd entertain each other - e.g. at soft play her two would go off together whereas I still had to go in with DC1.

It's nothing like having twins, but DC1 was the worst out of my friends kids for getting in to everything. We childproofed almost all of downstairs in the end - a Baby Dan fire guard around the fire and TV, removed the coffee table, and everything off the edges of accessible tables (he stood on tip toes to pull stuff off), got locks for all the kitchen cupboards. If you have a run of drawers you can secure by putting a long piece of wood through all the handles. Pipe insulation is a cheap way of protecting table edges. I've never had such a tidy house....

The other thing that helped us is to try to find alternatives they will accept for whatever they want do. I had a pile of hardback kids books I wasn't fussed about on a very small coffee table he could pull on to the floor all he liked. A sit and ride walker helped divert him away from climbing furniture and into charging around the house and climbing on and off it. Have you bought many toddler rather than baby toys yet (e.g. play food they can pull apart, trucks they can push around) - I hadn't with DC1 at age 1 and now suspect him being bored with baby toys may have been part of the problem. Toddler groups can be a good place to see which new toys your kids might like.

dontblameme · 01/11/2017 11:55

Do persevere with HomeStart, if there is a waiting list get yourself on it, I volunteered with twins for three years, loved it. (And if you happen to be in Glasgow, PM me) :-)

TammyswansonTwo · 01/11/2017 12:05

Aww, sadly I'm not in Glasgow otherwise I'd be breaking your door down! ;)

Thanks everyone - yes, I think "frazzled" is about right. I need to find some way to get a break at some point as I've never had one (besides a cheeky afternoon nap of a weekend while the DH wrangles them downstairs for a couple of hours). I have some lovely twin mum friends but obviously none of us are in a position to help each other out as mums usually do.

Going to sit down with the husband this weekend and come up with a plan to section off somewhere - I thought the play pen would avoid that need but alas no. I have not yet added balls to the play pen since their favourite game currently is throwing toys out of the play pen so I would probably break my neck! Think I might have to bite that bullet though. Will try to find a way to make the play pen more fun. I need to be better with rotating toys rather than chucking too much in there I guess.

It's just so hard between the shitty sleep, twin 2's health problems, my health problems - I'm a wreck. Surely they will start sleeping better soon.... surely!

OP posts:
TammyswansonTwo · 01/11/2017 12:06

I think it will be easier in some ways (and harder in others) when they're steadier on their feet. There's just so much falling down at the moment!

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Doubletrouble42 · 01/11/2017 12:14

I feel lucky that all my kids are too shortarse to have climbed out of their playpen/cot etc!