How can you NOT get onto a motorway?

[purplecurtaindog]

I have driven on motorways for many years and avaerge 15,000 miles some years as I drive for work. I consider myself a very confident yet safe driver. I have experience driving lorries and an extended professional license.

Never in my 20+ years of driving have I had trouble getting onto a motorway...

Yet my friend told me today that she was not able to join a motorway today, that she matched with speed of traffic but there were 'no gaps.' She got stranded at the end of the slip road, DC in car, and ended up getting a vehicle recovery service to come out and get her car as she was too scared to move onto the motorway from a stop.

She says it was not her fault and that this was not due to fault of her driving.

However I can't see how you could fail to get onto a motorway if you were merging correctly?

I've always matched my speed with the traffic, indicated right, ended up on carriageway. If the traffic is slower, you still match your speed! My guess is she want too fast or slow. Yet she insisted this was not her fault.

So AIBU to not see how a safe and competent driver can get stranded at the end of a slip road? And AIBU to ask if this has ever happened to anyone/ if they've witnessed it?

I personally never have in all my years of driving.

Friend has been driving for ten plus years. I did mention that this shouldn't happen and that it was very dangerous, but I wasn't harsh or rude.

Thank you.

It's happened to my best friend a couple of times. She doesn't drive on motorways any more, which is a good thing as (much as I love her) she is a shockingly bad driver.

Hopelessly underconfident people such as your friend are as much of a menace as wildly overconfident types.Then there are the smug ones, like you.

The rest of us are just competent; no more, no less. We don't think we're rubbish and we don't profess to be be great.

In 30+ years of driving, 10+ more years than you, OP, I've mostly managed to avoid you all, but there have been a lot of near misses.

Some people aren’t as confident driving.

Perhaps you could kindly suggest an advanced course to build confidence.

With your miles done it’s second nature to you.

I had someone keep speed with me once when I was coming down a slip, and I had to either slow down or speed up, so I sped up and squeezed in front of him and then sped off

The best part... this was about 1am, and an empty motorway! For some reason the driver didn't want to either move out or travel at a different speed to me. So he was either not paying attention to the road enough to notice me approaching down the slip and was also coincidentally keeping my speed (including matching me slowing down when I realised he wasn't creating space), or he was intentionally trying to force me to run out of slip road.

My DD was a driving instructor. He didn't want to teach me to drive as there would be 'complicated family dynamics' meaning I would cry every time he corrected me and because it would mean we couldn't use a car with dual controls but after I passed my test he took me on some additonal lessons and taught me (amongst other things) how to park in a multi storey car park and how to drive on a motorway. Our nearest motorway was the, at that time, newish M25 and even back then it was busy. He taught me that to enter a busy motorway you slow down, indicating until someone lets you through and if the bastards don't let you through, you continue to drive along the hard shoulder indicating until there is a gap. I don't know if that was right or not but it has saved me from panicking when I join a motorway ever since and I have never needed to use that particular piece of advice.

I found when I drove a mini (the old, small ones) that I was almost invisible. I regularly got cut up or had to force my way into a gap. I lived really near the M25 and was v good at nipping into a small gap then gradually falling back so that I wasn't sitting on someone's tail.

My mum used to drive the same mini as me sometimes, but normally had a bigger car. She said that she found it MUCH harder to pull onto dual carriageway/motorway when in the mini.

I had a couple of frightening experiences when I just couldn't find a space and it seemed like other cars just didn't even see me there. I've driven in several different countries in a variety of cars and have found that smaller cars do seem to get ignored quite a lot. I've also found Brits the worst at making space to let people in when it is busy.

So I think it is possible, but your friend does sound v hesitant as well, so could have been half & half.

I saw this happen to someone last week on the M40. They were stationary at the end of the slip road. The motorway was busy but not terribly so. I flashed my lights for the driver to pull out but they didn’t and the same happened with the car behind me.
The stationary driver just didn’t seem to know what to do but they really were causing a very dangerous situation as cars tried to brake heavily to allow for them to pull out. Horns were blaring and I felt I could have easily been in a major pileup. Why on earth didn’t they just carry on up the hard shoulder which was clear I don’t know. Idiot!

i never had a problem but i had motorway driving lessons before i went on a motorway and insisted that all of my kids do too.

I think your friend could do with a refresher/confidence course including motorway driving. The tow truck found a gap to pull out onto with her car in tow, so logically it will have been possible for her her to find a gap. It therefore sounds as though she panicked. Parking on the hard shoulder is very dangerous. Especially near a junction.

I have personally never been in a position not to be able to get onto the motorway. Sometimes it can be difficult, especially as some drivers already on the motorway can react in unpredicatable ways. As I drive down/up the slip road, I judge the distance of the oncoming traffic to find a gap. I think that’s what most people do, don’t they?

The only time I ever had to stop was in queuing traffic, where etiquette dictates one car is let on the carriageway at a time. I have, however been on the motorway and seen drivers stop at the end of the slip road for no apparent reason, which when driving at high speed was pretty scary as I didn’t know what they’d do next.

I do hope your friend acquires the necessary skills to drive safely on the motorway. It seems as if she put herself through quite an ordeal.

My dh is a very good driver and I learnt a lot from being a passenger in a car with him. He’s managed to avoid a car (by finding a space in the middle lane) which stopped dead in front of him on the fast lane in heavy traffic. I’m really glad he was driving that day. So I’m not saying I’m the best driver in the world either. But I’m competent and live just beside two motorways so use them regularly and have lived abroad with extensive driving experience on foreign motorways.

Personally, I find getting on dual carriage ways more hairy as others upthread mentioned. The limit is the same and the slip roads shorter, rather like some foreign motorways.

I know a twat who refuses to move over or adjuat his speed to let someone in. So yes I can believe that she couldnt join.

I got confused and in a storm ended up going the wrong way Queue range-rover and breathalyser 👨🏻‍✈️

Wonderful friend!

She may have had a panic attack. You can't control those.
Be kind to her.

But it does become a problem for her as as driver.
She could have counselling or driving lessons to improve her confidence.

OMG your poor friend! I have been without a car for the past couple of years, however I do remember a few 'hairy' moments joining motorways. Unfortunately, there seem[ed] to be a lot of selfish/dangerous drivers out there who wouldn't move over. To be fair, sometimes it was because they couldn't (don't get me started on middle lane hoggers!)
She needed a HUG.

DP and I have 82 years of driving experience between us and this has never happened to either of us (just asked him!). We've both done a lot of motorway driving in that time, a lot of it on the M25, which is horrendously busy.

We have an A-road dual carriageway near us with a very short slip road and, while it can be daunting, neither of us has had a problem joining that, either.

I wonder how many people move over to the next lane, assuming they can do so safely, to make it easier for people to join though? I do it, if I see cars on the slip road and the inside lane is busy.

Oh no I feel so bad for your friend. This happened to me when I was young and first passed my test. I came down a slip road onto a busy motorway at rush hour and there were no gaps!

I look back now and I can see I was at fault I was going way too slowly and I panicked and stopped.

I was extremely lucky a large hgv slowed right down and flashed me in then sat behind me until I had picked up my speed (and confidence). I will be forever grateful to him or her and have a bit of a soft spot for hgv drivers to this day.

I avoided rush hour for a bit until I built up my confidence and have no problems now. I do think it should be mandatory to have a motorway lesson after passing your test though as there really is nothing to prepare us for busy motorways at commuter times.

Some slip roads are really short! I've one on my way to work where you have to go round a really tight bend up a hill (I'm a new driver too so have to do this quite slowly!) Then a tiny slip road onto the motorway. I've never got stuck so far but there doesn't seem to be time to be able to really pick up speed to match the traffic so I've always had to join quite slowly...

Sounds like she needs taking off the road pronto before she kills someone

I got confused and in a storm ended up going the wrong way Queue range-rover and breathalyser - lyne that sounds absolutely horrific, you poor thing!
She may have had a panic attack. You can't control those.
Be kind to her. Good point Lweji.

How strange that a lot of posters (Including someone being told by a Driving Instructor) believe that you are supposed to continue on the hard shoulder but it clearly isn't in the Highway Code as I have always thought

I know junctions where there is not a continuing hard shoulder. (just a bloody great big concrete bridge support. or the hard shoulder is the first lane.

I have also seen a convoy of lorries nose to tail with no gaps between . If she had encountered one of those then she would have struggled.

To those saying drive on the hard shoulder, what if there isn't one?

I commute up the M6 in Cheshire, which currently is being upgraded to 'smart'. I join part way through roadworks, narrow lanes, no hard shoulder.

The slip road goes straight into narrow inside lane, in morning rush hour it is very busy, I have had a few hairy moments, with lorries bearing down on me. Just yesterday I only just got on before the slip road stopped, in a tight gap. I see drivers at other junctions having similar problems and really struggling to get on.

Maybe Ops friend was on a similar stretch of motorway, there are a lot of motorways being converted to smart now. Before being judgemental, try getting onto the same stretch she did at the same time of day.

to those saying drive on the hard shoulder, what if there isn't one then you stop, and wait until you can go. You don't drive on the hard shoulder either. Very dangerous