Am I too strict or would you have done the same

[katycb]

1st world problem really- We were out yesterday in the kids playroom of an art gallery. DD (4) had spent ages building a house with some big foam blocks when another child runs in (probably 5/6 ish) with a big familly group and knocks it down I tried to get him to say sorry (nicely!) but he ran off and none of the 3 adults who were with him intervened. Anyway helped DD stop crying and build it back up which we did about 15m later same boy knocks it down again! This time his Dad says "Oh dear lets build it again" but DD is properly upset and at no point does any adult in the group get the boy to apologise. If either of my 2 did this I would pull them up, get them to say sorry to the child they upset and give them time out. It has really got me riled DH says its just different parenting and I shouldn't interfere AIBU?

When my dd was little about 2 or 3we were in a soft play place and another older kid about 5 took the car she was playing with. He then offered it to her she went to take it and he grabbed it back laughing. Did this several times and she was to young to get what he was doing. The kids mum watched this behaviour and did nothing. So i went over with a bag of sweets and loudly offered one to my dd. Other kid took bait and asked for a sweet. I turned to him and said no mean children dont get sweets. I felt great like dont f with mama bear..for about 3 seconds... when the kid then burst into tears and I realised a im a grown adult who just made a 5 year old child cry.

I would feel the same op. It's a tough one, but I agree with you. It's more about teaching children to respect other children. So although the blocks are there for all to play with, if I child is making a building and there is plenty more to play with then there should be no reason for the child to be knocking his invention down. The child could have built up his own building and knocked it down, which is what I would have encouraged after the first time.
Yes you could say it's for everyone to play with, but play is a broad term and your sons idea of play is building. It may not be knocking things down. Like I said, after the first time i would have played building with my child and explained to them about respecting another child's creation and if they wanted to knock buildings down then we can build our own.
Sadly so many parents don't bother to play with their children or correct them. It's meant to be learning through play. I believe this to include manners and respect but not all people do. They expect the child to automatically know right from wrong because they are 'playing.

"But it's not the same in a public place, other DC can play with the blocks too - you can't have them for your DD's exclusive use. So teaching her to enjoy how they fall and have fun building up over and over again might be worth it."

Rubbish. If one child is playing it's bloody rude of another to go in and interrupt the flow. Adults need to teach a child manners

You were too precious

I disagree I dont think they should be told off but an acknowledgment that they accidentally destroyed someone's stuff then a simply apology would suffice from the child and the parent.

But I do think time out would be going to far

But it wasn't accidental. They did it twice, running past other blocks they could have played with. They just wanted to wreck someone else's game.

If it's bad behaviour you don't want them to do again, you have to tell them off. And I wouldn't have waited for the parents to do it the second time.

I agree it was bad behaviour and should definitely have been pulled up on (the first time never mind the second) but I'm on the fence about the forced apology. I recently watched a friend's toddler repeatedly hit / snatch from another child; each time if she was told "no" or "that's not nice" she would go back and hug the hurt child. She had learnt the apology, but not the meaning, more that it let her off whatever she'd done. I think I'd rather model a sincere apology, and how to play nicely, so that the child learns kindness and if they do apologise then it's meaningful.