To request 2 morning lie ins per year?

[Cakebaby123]

Ok so I'm a SAHM and yet again another weekend gone by where DH gets to sleep in until gone 11am while I'm up at the crack of dawn with DC (after being up all night with DD and her sickness bug)
All I ask is that for mothers day and my birthday that maybe DH gets up with the children and brings me a cup of tea to enjoy. We have this argument every year where he thinks because I don't 'go to work and earn money' that I don't need a lie in at all, not even once a year.
Does everyone view SAHMs like this?
He does work hard, but he's self employed and only works when he really does want to. So it's not like he works 100 hours a week, whereas I feel like my 'job' never ends

Trivial yes, but its really getting me down.

You should have one lie-in each at the weekend. He is very selfish, sleeping in until 11am, and not allowing you to have the opportunity. What a twat.

Yanbu. My ex was like this. I eventually had a lie in after a miscarriage .

He's not seen the dc's in nine years so he has all the lie ins he wants.

You’re going into this way too low. Demand one a week. Plus extras if you’ve been up in the night.

I've tried to get a job, the only one I had an interview for was a bar job, which I wasn't allowed to go to because he doesn't want me working in a bar, he says I can do better than a bar job and to keep looking. I'm desperate for a job, I'd love to have some money of my own to treat the family x

I can understand that he expects you to do the chores / childcare during the week while he's at work. But at weekends the chores / childcare should be split. And that includes splitting the early-morning wake-ups. Anything less would be unreasonable on his part.

Why does he think he should be entitled to every lie-in? Does he not think childcare is work? I'd like to suggest that you leave him to it for a weekend and let him discover just how hard it is....

he doesn't like you very much does he? And he certainly only respects anyone who earns money.

Not sure how you ended up with this level of shit in your marriage. I would be hot-footing it back to work asap if I were you.

take the bar job. Seriously.

He thinks childcare is easy, because he's literally never done it. Never run a bath for the kids, never taken them to the park, never washed clothes or cooked a meal. I do everything, always have. It's impossible to change how things are. I don't mind doing all that but a lie in would be absolute bliss. I only get them on the very rare occasion my mother will have them overnight x

I've tried to get a job, the only one I had an interview for was a bar job, which I wasn't allowed to go to

"Wasn't allowed to"? FFS, why do women put up with controlling men like this? It's really sad. He sounds like a dick OP, and he shouldn't be telling you what you are "allowed" to do.

That's really sad Cakebaby, I'm sure your children will wonder one day why they never had a close relationship with their father.

“Wasn’t allowed”??

The lie ins are the least of the problems! Are there any cultural issues here? He sounds very odd.

No cultural issues. He says his dad never used to do things with him and his siblings or help around the house because he worked. I guess he's just old fashioned?

Op you're not having a shit day, you're having a shit life and it won't get better by itself.

I would be pointing out that if you split, he'd be having the dc every other weekend.

Not old fashioned, just your standard selfish cunt.

Have you always gone along with this nonsense?

He's totally unreasonable. I know I'm lucky but my dh gets up every day with my ds (often 4-5am) and makes breakfast before work. He also works hard but knows I'm with ds all day and need a bit of a break.

I hope he listens to you and gives you some lie ins.

I guess he's just old fashioned?

Oh is that what sexist arseholes are called these days? Can't believe you bought that OP. You work just as hard looking after the kids, why do you value what you do so little and let him get away with this shit?

Sorry, but this isn't fair, and your life sounds faintly depressing.
Like others have said, one lie in each a week is fair.
What are you actually getting from his marriage?

If all of you can see how unreasonable and irrational his view is, why can't he? If I ask him to get up with the kids it causes a huge row 😢im just totally and utterly lost

He doesn't want you to take the bar job because he would probably have to look after the children in the evening and he's not going to want to do that!!!
He is a selfish, self centred, controlling arse and unfortunately he will always be like that.
There is no lonelier place than an abusive relationship.

Why would he admit he’s being unreasonable? The second he does, he has to change his behaviour and based on what you’ve said, there’s no incentive for him to do that, is there?

Show him this thread? It is such selfish behaviour...

YANBU. We have 1 each per week regardless of what we have been doing in the week.

“Wasn’t allowed”

Yeah, lie-ins are the least of your issues.

We have one lie-in a week each (he has Saturday, I have Sunday) - although if either of us is particularly knackered then then other will send them up for a nap at some point in the afternoon too.

Now I'm not saying we're all sweetness and light here - he did make it impossible for me to take a job once by refusing to make the effort to do drop-offs, but I got a better job soon after so I don't hold it against him (had I not got the better job, this might be different)

Do you have access to money? And any free time at all?

What’s good about this man?