To hold a reveal party for....

[Emilybrontescorsett]

My new house?
I'm thinking I could do with some cash as buying a new house is very expensive.
So after the wave of baby shower/gender reveal/henparties/stag parties/weddings etc etc
I've thought of having a kitchen reveal party!!!!!
It would go something along the lines of
Please come to my kitchen reveal party, where I will reveal the worktops/surfaces/units I have chosen, along with flooring choice.
Please bring either a starter, main or pudding plus a bottle of fizz, make sure it is not from Aldi !!!!
Please no cheap crap!
I will enclose a gift list but really really would prefer cash.
If you do happen to bring a gift( and not cash, which is much preferred,) then it must be only from the list and on no account be from any other shop than John Lewis
If you do not live near a John Lewis then please give me cash.

I'll include a tacky poem too.

Anyone who doesn't come will be deleted from my friends list on fb after I have posted a sarcastic meme about only true friends support you in times of need and those who don't can fuck off and die!

What do you think?

Genius op

Sad thing is,elsewhere on mn someone has been invited wedding but told (by bride) not to bf
Pretty sure that thread was a troll or pbp. Didn't MNHQ put up a post about it?

I didn’t see that,but this is funny thread cause it’s not so far from reality

Come to think of it, a "launch my teen" party would be good. An iPod, iPad, iPhone, Bose headphones, pair of vans, anything from TopMan... I'll make sure there are items for under £100 (just) on the gift list. Proper cheapskates can hand over a crisp £20 note.

The best threads are hun xx 😁

This was the deletion message from the bogus BF ban thread SmileSunshine

Message from MNHQ: Many thanks for the reports about this thread. We've been checking things out behind the scenes and the OP appears to be a previously banned poster with a habit of starting threads linking to blogs and other sites.

Ahh, I see.i posted on it to.

At a key moment during your kitchen reveal can I interrupt to publicly ask DH if we can have new cupboard doors for our utility room? Honestly, it wont distract at all.

Make a speech op.make sure you manage to offend your guests,big yourself up

Your 12 best friends could be scullery maids, parlour maids and cooks for the party. In matching dresses that they need to pay for of course. Make sure to leave one out and order the dress 2 sizes too small for the some of them.

At the end, you should revel a Kuoni brochure then as well as chipping in for your beautiful house, guests can give you spends to go on the holiday of your dreams.
You’ll need a rest after arranging it all won't you you hon?

Hi all
I've take time out to speak to my best friend who is busy organising my reveal. Soon enough I will become evasive with her as I'm going to disinvite her in favour of a new friend I'm planning to make.
I will wait until my best friend has forked out a fortune for my reveal and is in pieces wondering how she can heal our friendship.
She has ordered balloons which will be launched creating havoc with the local wildlife.
I have told her under no circumstances must she give guests clear directions on how to get to my house, it's much more fun for guests to fumble around wondering g where the hell they are.
As an added treat I will make sure I don't answer the door until guests have spent approximately 10 minutes knocking, ringing and wondering if they have the correct house.
Of course there will be a totally off the cuff staged dance which will be an original idea cos no one has ever done one. I'm thinking the very little known end routine to dirty dancing, just not sure that anyone alive will recognise it.
I have also instructed my bestie that there is a strict 'no ring no bring' policy and of course no breastfeeding mothers.

Don't forget to "sack" your bestie from her duties at some stage. Keep her on her toes!

I will wait until my best friend has forked out a fortune for my reveal and is in pieces wondering how she can heal our friendship

And you'll watch out for her to post a thread in AIBu having first NC because it will "out" her. And then you two, plus your sockpuppets, can fight it out on the internet.

Wins all round.

Remember to order the paper lanterns you set fire to and launch , the ones that set fire to adjacent sheds and frighten pets

I have prepared a small dramatic piece for the occasion, which I will be sharing with you all in the form of interpretive dance. Make sure the kitchen island is clear and the new spotlights are ready to be focused on me. I will also need seven bottles of room temperature Evian and a selection of vegan snacks.

Aren't you a bit worried about looking grabby?

ttbb
There's going to be a cute poem to hide the grabbyness. Nobody will notice.

Bin following you on FB, hun 😍 it all sounds fabluss! ❤❤ Need to buy a new outfit, but when do the invites go out? Havnt had 1 yt and need to get xtensionz redone. Dont leave it 2 l8 will you hunny. xx

This is a joke,,right?

I'll come :) bagsy bringing the Pombears and naice ham!!

No joke,it’s a huge social event.her very being depends on the success of this.

You could have a VIP list where only the elite get to see the utility room too

Don't forget to hire a portaloos and put it at the bottom of your garden (preferably in a muddy patch) you don't want people using your actual toilet.

Of course, you need to insist on shoes off in the house then. Maybe provide artisanal slippers with a helpful note.

You could have a bouquet of whisks to be thrown. The person who catches them can then get their kitchen done.