To hold a reveal party for....

[Emilybrontescorsett]

My new house?
I'm thinking I could do with some cash as buying a new house is very expensive.
So after the wave of baby shower/gender reveal/henparties/stag parties/weddings etc etc
I've thought of having a kitchen reveal party!!!!!
It would go something along the lines of
Please come to my kitchen reveal party, where I will reveal the worktops/surfaces/units I have chosen, along with flooring choice.
Please bring either a starter, main or pudding plus a bottle of fizz, make sure it is not from Aldi !!!!
Please no cheap crap!
I will enclose a gift list but really really would prefer cash.
If you do happen to bring a gift( and not cash, which is much preferred,) then it must be only from the list and on no account be from any other shop than John Lewis
If you do not live near a John Lewis then please give me cash.

I'll include a tacky poem too.

Anyone who doesn't come will be deleted from my friends list on fb after I have posted a sarcastic meme about only true friends support you in times of need and those who don't can fuck off and die!

What do you think?

Can I come? I have never been asked to a kitchen reveal party........

I promise not to take the piss, and I like nice fancy worktops.

Is there a range? I love them. Cool as eff they are.

I'll bring a gift. Cocktail sticks. And some tin foil.

I won't bring any kids, I won't breastfeed, and I will have a shower before I come.

Brilliant idea. I'll do a school uniform reveal party for secondary. I will email details of the uniform supplier, along with a list of items needed. If you are too stingy to get a blazer, guitar or football boots you can get socks from JL.

Bring your own food and drink, naturally.

That's been deleted Lipstick as was starred by a PBP with a history of being contentious.

AlpacaLypse
I quite like a good spoof, or a good natured and funny troll.
There's one on a board I lurk on and it's all the trials and tribulations of this person and their manager. I'm 90% sure it has to be a spoof/troll because it's hilarious. Lota of posters feed it being quite open about how they doubt it is real. It's made for amusing reading.

What is PBP,please?

Previously banned poster

Psst ewen it’s a joke

BoohHumbug
Make sure your photographer is from the local paper and ask guests to bring a pair of black shoes that may or may not be school shoes for the deal or no deal: school shoes edition.

You couls bring the DC and each dye their hair a different colour then take bets on which ones get sent home/put in isolation on day 1.

@MaisyPops yy that's exactly the sort of thread I enjoy on a Saturday night!

AlpacaLypse.....What???

"In the nicest possible way".......dont be so patronising....LOL!!!

Wighintheghoulies....Your right about the internet and I choose to be on here but because the majority of you think its funny and are "playing along" doesnt mean I have to. Im no longer posting about the subject, but feel I am having to defend myself....

Dont have a go because someone else has their own opinions. Oh and by the way no-one forced you to message me...you could have just ignored it!!!!

Brilliant, MaisyPops. Do Daily Wail pay? Make the party even more lucrative fun.

because the majority of you think its funny and are "playing along" doesnt mean I have to. Im no longer posting about the subject, but feel I am having to defend myself....
Nobody seems to be saying that you have to play along with it.
I don't see how you're having to defend yourself either.

As with every thread on MN if it's not your cup of tea then there are many others that might be.

Im sooo chuffed!!!

I was the only one who got a picture!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!......I had no idea it was a joke....????...no really.....Anyone else want to tell me it was a joke....feel free to jump on up on that there bandwagon.....LOL!!!!

Luv it!!!!

Gradually this post is slowly becoming about me and my "sense of humour"...

Sorry Original Poster but I seem to be stealing your thunder!!! LOL!!!

I think you,have a very warped impression of "Times of Need".

To me it would be I don't have enough to put food on the table/pay utilities etc through no fault of my own.

Not "I''ve bought a house beyond my means and rather than cut back on my lifestyle, I'll try and get everybody else to pay for it".

All I can say is I'm glad i'm nowhere near you "Friends" or should it be "Alternative Bank" list.

BoohHumbug
Not surw about the Fail.
Local rag seems safer. We could make bingo cards for when they share it on their facebook page and the crew of idiots start posting things like:
Orrrite like how does the colour of her hair help her learn?!
Report them to Ofsted.
They tell me I can't keep them off school but then they put him in isolation
Ofsted
Some comment about male staff being pervs for reminding girls about skirt length
But 'insert shoe' was in the school section of the shop
'School' is just crap anyway. They think having a uniform.is going to help? It was shite when i went there and my mum. Can't see it gettinf better.
I thought teachers should be busy you know teaching

Bingo could be great.

Your right about the internet and I choose to be on here but because the majority of you think its funny and are "playing along" doesnt mean I have to. Im no longer posting about the subject, but feel I am having to defend myself

If the op was a possible troll I'd understand where you're coming from. However it was obviously a post full of in-jokes about silly reveal parties and general MN silliness from the very first post. You're the one who insinuated that the op isn't 'genuine' - so either that's suggesting the op is a troll or that we're all not 'getting it'. It's bloody obviously tongue in cheek, no one has been 'taken in', and we're all terribly sorry this humour isn't to your taste.

I fear your op may have been more subtle than you intended OP.

Subtle vango?!

I was half expecting her to ask where she could stash her toilet brush when guests visit and seek advice on which zoflora to use.

Huge massive clues that it's only a joke:

I will write a tacky poem

I will delete you off my friends list

I will randomly not invite one of my friends

I will stipulate a ridiculous dress code

Etc etc

Oh I agree vango.
It was pretty clear.

Shame I liked the party planning suggestions. I hope people come back with more.

Game idea #34 - make a plaster cast of kitchen utensils as a momento

Aren’t you missing a trick op? Get your BFF to host a Tupperware party for you at the big reveal (all proceeds towards your new kitchen, obvs).

If she’s really a friend she’ll happily do it for you.

What?

No MLM 'opportunities'?

This would be a perfect opportunity to display Youneeq, VegeLife or some such and go into your spiel whenever anyone asks!

After all, Carrara marble worktops handcrafted by wizened Italian stonemasons in the heart of Tuscany don't pay for themselves!

OMG this is a joke thread!!!!????

FFS, what is wrong with you OP? Someone could have died. Like literally died. You know? Get your shit together!

I have a friend who sells these amazing cosmetics called Younique. She can come along to your party and give out some free sample if you like. Inbox me hun xx

I'll inbox you hun.
If you have a blender in your new kitcheb know someone who would happily showcase their smoothies and then you can upload before and after selfies raving abouy how you have #newkitchennewme #newkitchennewsmoothies and people will be queuing up to change their life. Your new kitchen will totes help your fake it til you make it social media feeds