To hold a reveal party for....

[Emilybrontescorsett]

My new house?
I'm thinking I could do with some cash as buying a new house is very expensive.
So after the wave of baby shower/gender reveal/henparties/stag parties/weddings etc etc
I've thought of having a kitchen reveal party!!!!!
It would go something along the lines of
Please come to my kitchen reveal party, where I will reveal the worktops/surfaces/units I have chosen, along with flooring choice.
Please bring either a starter, main or pudding plus a bottle of fizz, make sure it is not from Aldi !!!!
Please no cheap crap!
I will enclose a gift list but really really would prefer cash.
If you do happen to bring a gift( and not cash, which is much preferred,) then it must be only from the list and on no account be from any other shop than John Lewis
If you do not live near a John Lewis then please give me cash.

I'll include a tacky poem too.

Anyone who doesn't come will be deleted from my friends list on fb after I have posted a sarcastic meme about only true friends support you in times of need and those who don't can fuck off and die!

What do you think?

Don’t invite bf mums,their leaky boobs will damage the marble and baby will be squally

I hadn't thought of that leaky.
I thought it was thr job of the bestest friend person and chief kitchen revealer ti sort that shit out.

Though I'm happy to suggest 3 pre reveal events:
One week away somewhere abroad for 'these girls'
A family event
A weekend away around 4 hours drive from home for the closest 50 people. We can chip in for food etc together but the weekend will come to about £500. But you only fit a new kitchen once right

Have the kitchen hand crafted in Maui.

I love this thread.

The invitations must be hand stitched by blind Nun's from Belgium, and come in a stupidly heavy envelope filled with glittery shit, that will explode all over your guests sofas/kitchens/breakfasts.
Thus ensuring that whenever they hoover, for ever and ever, they will be reminded of your wonderful kitchen.

The cost of these invitations can be paid for by putting way too little postage on them, so your guests have to pay to get it from the post office.

yes a pre-reveal cottage booked for 17 friends and 9 hanger-ons at their expense
Be sure to have a mismatch of guests in an off track location in a windy cottage
Op insist everyone bring a photo of her and recall an amusing complimentary anecdote about op

For a kitchen dance, you can't beat the Morecambe and Wise one

A weekend away around 4 hours drive from home for the closest 50 people. We can chip in for food etc together but the weekend will come to about £500

You must also make sure that all hotels and b&bs in the area are a)hugely expensive
b) really really inconveniently located down 8 miles of country lanes, a horse ride, and a swim in a canal away.
c) on no account can there be any public transport or taxis within 100 miles
d) stop serving food early, lock up at 9pm, don't have bars or anywhere to get a sanck or drink, also they must only serve a shit breakfast between 6.29 and 7.03.
e) don't have childminding services, or even better don't allow children at all, but still invite the children and expect adults to party till 5am

Haven't you all got it wrong?

This is the kitchen reveal partei, eg brochures and samples.

The proper party is when the kitchen is installed.

So sort of two reveal parties and two bites at the cherry ......

Haha,I know someone arranged a hen do as described by LanaKane

Of course the no-child rule should be waived for DH's 3 yr old niece who will look adorable dressed as a Victorian scullery maid in mob cap and pinny (and can at need actually be put to work scullerying) and 5yr old nephew who will be costumed as a sweep's boy and can handily be sent up the woodburning stove flue to clean it out during the party.

I thought carrie bradshaw when I saw your opening post.

Splendid idea, have a no ring no bring policy no partners only smug marrieds
Yes to this but sit them as far apart as possible with people they have never met before.

You could have a cash wishing well in the hallway and a little sign saying minimum donations XX

Yes,and the Dickensian themed kids can hand out canapés to guests
Make sure hanger on newbie mates get preferential treatment over family and real friends

LOL!!! No Derelictwreck...Im not having a bad day, actually a really good one hon..!

Just dont believe this is a genuine post and that this person is taking the piss out of everyone who is daft enough to give it their time....(But thats just my opinion!!)

XXX

But that’s mn over the back,daft posts and we all happily post away.no one makes us

ewen I think it's abundantly clear, from the opening post (!), that the OP is just having a little joke. And very amusing it is too!

ewen1234 did you wake up without a sense of humour hon, or are you just not getting the sub jokes? 'Taking the piss' how exactly? Only out of gender reveal parties, and they honestly deserve it...

Thank you for that Vango!!

Oh and by the way Chocolaterainbow, this went totally over my head as well!! Apparently my sense of humour has ran away!! (And that was coming from someone who doesnt even know me!!).

This just doesnt APPEAL to my sense of humour hence the reason I didnt find it particularly funny!!....Soreeeee!!!

But each to their own!!

ewen You do realise the entire thing is a giant piss take right?

OH FFS....OK what do you want??? Blood!!

I GET IT....just dont think it was funny.. Im entitled to my opinion!!

Apparently my sense of humour has ran away!! (And that was coming from someone who doesnt even know me!!).

It was a joke.

I think it's funny. And cathartic! I keep forgetting it's supposed to be a 'reveal'. I'm getting carried away thinking about weddings that frustrate me. 😁

This just doesnt APPEAL to my sense of humour hence the reason I didnt find it particularly funny!!....Soreeeee!!!

How old are you? You realise that MN (and the internet in general) is a big place, no one is forcing you to be here right?

OH FFS....OK what do you want??? Blood!!
Chill out will you.
Your post and mine are both at 16:18. Cross post yes?!

But we get it. You don't find it funny.

Some of us do.

Sad thing is,elsewhere on mn someone has been invited wedding but told (by bride) not to bf

@ewen1234 In the nicest possible way, there is a long and honourable tradition of spoof threads to amuse in AIBU. Anyone remember @HullyGully and the banning of Old People at Wedding one, after a particularly bad spate of AIBUs about child free weddings?

There's a thread on Gardening about 'indoor passiflora'. I might pop over there and tell them that it's a boring discussion, not worth having, and doesn't interest me in the least.