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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Straw-poll please - Do you make breakfast for your DH /DP?

342 replies

rumginger · 25/10/2017 17:42

I told DH at 8am I would put this on MN and give him feedback, but he has no clue about this really.

I do usually make him breakfast in the mornings because I'm doing it for the DC as well, so fine. However, we're now into the second week of half-term which means I don't strictly need to be up at 6.30, but I'm kind of in the habit and the cats need feeding anyway. So this morning I had made him poached eggs with salmon on muffins and this is what he actually said to me - "Is there no hollandaise sauce with this?"

Firstly, as if anyone can be bothered to be faffing with egg yolks that early. Secondly, I told him most people would be lucky to get breakfast made for them at all. I don't think I am BU, but could MN please confirm that he is on his own planet to even ask such a question?

Thankyou.

OP posts:
AnathemaPulsifer · 25/10/2017 18:46

(He is really pushing his luck!)

DorisDangleberry · 25/10/2017 18:46

No hollandaise? Next you'll be saying you use shop bought smoked salmon and don't catch and smoke it yourself. What is the world coming to?

Looneytune253 · 25/10/2017 18:46

Nope never ever have I made him brekkie and I make the majority of meals. He will often make me a cuppa though but I usually make my own brekkie. He’s usually up before me

AnInchWasPinched · 25/10/2017 18:47

No! I don’t get up until he has finished sorting himself out in the kitchen making his flask of coffee. I get up when he leaves (540) and make my breakfast whilst powering up the computer to start work. DC get breakfast after 7, usually cereals, occasionally cooked something.
At the weekends, I will set the table for the family, then get pissed off no one comes and eat by myself anyway. Weekend breakfast is bread and jam/honey and maybe once every couple of months I’ll boil an egg each.

Herja · 25/10/2017 18:47

I did. It contributed to the downfall of my marriage...

TimeIhadaNameChange · 25/10/2017 18:48

Reminds me of a comment my DP made at the weekend. I took him a hot, freshly-made scone (which he had requested I make) straight from the oven to where he was working in the garden. His only comment was "Where's the butter and jam?". I pointed out it was already buttered, and the lack of jam was due to a lack in the house. He never did thank me for it, even when I raised it with him later.

As for breakfast, he used to bring me a coffee in each morning, but he's not been getting up til after me for a while, so I'll take him one in. He does always cook breakfast on a Sunday (the only meal he really cooks, but he does the washing up so I'm not complaining).

honeylulu · 25/10/2017 18:51

No but I do bring him a cup of coffee in bed Mon-thurs as I'm up early to go to work at 6. He gets his own breakfast after I've gone. (I have mine at work. )
He brings me tea in bed on Friday (my WFH day), Saturday and Sunday. Saturday we get our own breakfast although if I make porridge for the kids I offer him some. He does us all a cooked brunch on Sunday.
I can't remember the last time I made him breakfast. It might have been fathers day, although my son has just reminded me I nipped out and got McMuffins last time! Maybe his birthday in January?

user1471451355 · 25/10/2017 18:52

Yes I do, unless he has to leave before I’m awake. I’m a SAHM and I enjoy it, so might as well! (-:

WhatwouldAryado · 25/10/2017 18:54

YABU. It's not the same without hollandaise. Grin

frieda909 · 25/10/2017 18:58

I’ve made mine breakfast the last couple of days but more often it’s him who cooks for me. We both like eggs in the mornings and he works from home, so generally he stays in bed until I get back from the gym around 8am and then he gets up and makes us both breakfast which I’m in the shower. If he’s not up, or needs to crack on with work early, then I do it myself and cook for both of us.

We don’t have a strict rota system for it or anything, it’s more of a ‘you’ve done it the past few days, let me do it this time’ kind of vibe. Sometimes neither of us can be bothered, in which case I’ll grab something at work and he’ll go out to Costa or something later on.

Whenever one of us cooks for the other, though, we’re always both very grateful and appreciative and would never expect it. And we would definitely not be inquiring about hollandaise sauce to go with it!

My ex came to expect me to make his breakfast every morning and that felt very different. He would always guilt trip me about how he was running late and needed my ‘help’. I’m glad he’s my ex.

Botanicbaby · 25/10/2017 18:59

Have you made him this dish before with Hollandaise sauce?

Otherwise he is indeed a CF for expecting it.

I'd only cook breakfast at weekends.

Original poster
rumginger · 25/10/2017 19:01

DeadGood - no he would have no idea that hollandaise is fiddly. I have done it before if we have people over which is probably why he was asking, but still...

OstentatiousWanking - no he is not speaking from behind a newspaper in 1950s style, but from behind his phone in his very own bloody-annoying-transfixed-by-Bloomberg style, but that's another issue.Angry

OP posts:
bluebells1 · 25/10/2017 19:02

No kids here. Weekdays, porridge is made overnight in the slow cooker. Weekends, we sort of make it together.

SnowWhite33 · 25/10/2017 19:06

When we both worked FT and had no kids we sorted ourselves out.
Now im a SAHM, my DH leaves the house before 7am 3 days per week, on those days he makes himself a sandwich to eat in the car. Other 2 days he leaves later and takes our DS to daycare so on those days we eat breakfast all together and I prepare it whilst he is getting ready. But its always toast with cheese/jam or porridge, or yoghurt with granola. There is no way i would be poaching eggs 😄
On the weekends my DH always goes to get fresh croissants together with DS from local bakery and i set up table and make tea/coffee and eggs

ScouseQueen · 25/10/2017 19:10

I've never been solely responsible for making DH breakfast, though he has made breakfast for me many, many times. I try to make sure I am always appreciative: as someone said, the only response is 'Thank you, this looks lovely'.

I would certainly never be so ungrateful as to imply the meal was lacking. And for all the potential excuses that he doesn't know hollandaise is a bugger to make, saying 'is there no hollandaise with this?' does imply that it's expected. ('Is there any hollandaise?' doesn't have the same inflection to it.)

I'd just stop making him breakfast, and wait till he stops looking at his phone enough to notice. Then when it was raised I'd say that he'll need to do his own this every morning, as I've got a lot to do.

Oblomov17 · 25/10/2017 19:11

The hollandaise comment would nark me.

No. In answer to your question.

Dh gets up at 6am for work. He cooks me and ds’s a full breakfast every weekend. I cook dinner most nights. Because I’m home earlier. He cooks dinner from time to time. He is a good cook. He bbq’s a lot.

We make each other lunch for work, occasionally.

SenecaFalls · 25/10/2017 19:17

No. DH does almost all the breakfast cooking in our house.

Botanicbaby · 25/10/2017 19:18

Then YABU to serve him a dish that needs hollandaise to make it work. If he was used to it without I'd say YANBU.

Why not simply make caviar on thin toast next time? With a mimosa and scattered petals. Takes no time.

allegretto · 25/10/2017 19:21

Things I have never done:
Made hollandaise sauce.
Made DH breakfast.

irretating · 25/10/2017 19:22

Only on Father's Day.

Longdistance · 25/10/2017 19:22

Nope.

Dh makes his own breakfast, he gets up with dds who make their own, or he makes them it. Maybe on a Sunday, a full English may pop up, but usually we make our own. Same goes for lunches. He tried to get me to make a lunch for him once as his colleagues wife did. I made him a nice lunch, he complained, and I’ve never made him lunch since. He will though eat the dinners I make, as I’m a great cook.

Your Dh can make his own breakfast in future, especially if a complaint follows.

Ausparent · 25/10/2017 19:23

Just read the OP to my DH and he pissed himself laughing!

We take it in turns to get up with the kids on a weekend and usually he brings me tea and toast in bed when it is my turn to lie in and I do the same for him.

Mind you, if you ever decide you've had enough and you want to come and live with us, my DH says you are most welcome and he would never ask for Hollandaise sauce with his eggs and salmon breakfast!!!! ;-)

Namethecat · 25/10/2017 19:26

No - He gets up at 5.40 during the week. At weekends if we are having cereal we get our own. If it's toast ( uncut bread) he will slice it as I'm crap, but once toasted we butter/marmalade ourselves. But in the same sense and in my defence he's never brought me a tea in bed in this house and we've lived here 6 years !

OutM3 · 25/10/2017 19:27

Not really. He brings me breakfast in bed sometimes though under duress.

One of us makes a pot of coffee and either he or i prepare breakfast for the dc.

charmedrose · 25/10/2017 19:28

I do, seems stupid not to if i'm doing my own. Would be crazy not to. He makes mine sometimes but it's usually me because i make it nicer. I like to make him nice meals.

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