To ask parents to turn down volume.

[Borntobeamum]

Sat in a nice restaurant in a hotel.
DH and I are celebrating and sat at the next table is a Mum and dad and their son- aged about 4. He’s watching you tube videos. With the sound on full.
Restaurant is full so can’t move tables.
The parents are both on their phones too.
There’s no interaction. Just tinny noises as they click on various pages.
WIBU to ask them to start up a conversation with their little boy. I could give them some ideas if they’re stuck!

I think its sad. Because a restaurant or meal generally isnt meant to be downtime. Its where you enjoy food and actually have exchanges - not being externally stimulated (by sights, games, songs, all of which are similar to the ipad - just more forms of distraction). Eating together is when there's no other stimulation: you talk and its where kids form views. Its why my mum had a no books at the table rule back in the good old nineties. Its a time to learn how to converse amd form opinions.

Thepinkpanter something that ' reduces stress' can mean that the person does not shriek, hit and bite themselves, throw things, attack their carer, attack other people.

I never go anywhere with the kids without pens and paper. Works a treat every time.

My daughter has severe global delay, cerebral palsy and autistic behavioural traits. She hates hats, gloves, headbands, and it took two years for her to accept her glasses. I knew headphones would be problematic. I took her out and sat on a bench in a park produced her Kindle - excitement, then put headphones on her and explained simply (she has very limited understanding), she ripped them, I put them on, she ripped them off. This repeated a few times and she got it. It’s now become one of HER rules. She knows Kindle in bedroom = no headphones, Kindle outside the home = headphones. She signs for them as soon as she sees us get the tablet out.
The lure of Peppa Pig was stronger in the end than her aversion to appendages.
I’m sure a lot of people whose children won’t tolerate headphones, haven’t really tried. And you can both buy headphones with a reduced max volume and also set a max volume in settings on devices so no worries about hearing damage.
I would not use noisy devices in public buildings or transport and expect people to lump it.

Should have got some really offensive mother-fucking-cock-sucking-bitch-ho rap playing on your phone.

Betcha the restaurant woudl have asked you to turn that off.

Tablets at a table with headphones - fine, whatever floats your boat.

Tablets without headphones - you need to fuck the fuck off and stay at home.

Lightdrizzle I am glad that worked for your daughter but it doesn't mean it would work for every child.

Just to add, she is nil-by-mouth (gastrostomy fed) and non-verbal, but quite happy in a cafe or restaurant with her board books and/or Kindle - with headphones.

Spikeyball I accept that, but I bet many people whose children initially kick-off havent really tried in a structured way.

I don't care about screens. In my day it was colouring books or reading/picture books (and you still see kids "reading" them these days). I see no problem with kids entertaining themselves at the table, it can be boring waiting for food and they will definitely learn to converse nicely too.

The issue is QUIETLY entertaining themselves. Not with loud music/games/ringtones etc.

So very fucked up. Why haven't ypu raised him not to do that?

Because, despite my best efforts, it’s actually** impossible to ‘raise’ autism out of people

zzzzz I accepted not ALL children could adapt, but a 2 to 4 year old without SEN should learn the rule quite quickly if consistently applied and modelled, preferably not in a cafe, for the sanity of all concerned. Luckily the motivation is inherent, the delight of brightly coloured, noisy YouTube Kids or TV shows. With my daughter’s glasses it was much harder work because there wasn’t a strong immediate reward, the improved vision didn’t wash and she isn’t much motivated by praise and chocolate buttons aren’t an option.

Of course some people will not persevere with headphones because it’s easier for them. If your child absolutely cannot wear them then IPads in public are out. People managed before screens so it’s not impossible.
It’s like the people who complain that their kids won’t hold their hand/wear reins. Some things are non negotiable. I bet if IPads came with non removable headphones there would be very very few children who wouldn’t use them.

Some severely disabled people better just in then just like the good old days.

The point I’m making is that the number of children who can’t wear headphones is nowhere near the number of children who won’t wear headphones.
Not quite the same as me wanting disabled people to be hidden away - presumably including my own child. But let’s not let that stop you arguing with your own imagination

Lethaldrizzle
Migraleave for someone who doesn't get worked up by things, you sound pretty worked up. I wouldn't judge you cos I wouldn't give a fig cos he's wearing headphones. Happy days!

My thoughts entirely!

And it’s simply not true that people with disabilities couldn’t go out beforehand the invention of the iPad either.

Some of them would have gone out but would have other behaviour that the general public complained about. Some would have been very anxious but again not something that others care about.

Migraleave for someone who doesn't get worked up by things, you sound pretty worked up. I wouldn't judge you cos I wouldn't give a fig cos he's wearing headphones. Happy days!

I said I dont t get much bothered by what others are doing. I do however get really fucking upset at he opinionated twats who sit in judgment of others. I think that’s fair enough.